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A lifelong friend and me

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,650
North West
Everything sorted finally. Poor mum has been struggling with breathlessness and huge swollen legs for the last four weeks and the GP's surgey hadn't past on the faxes. I wouldn't mind if mum had been comfortable during that time but she hadn't. Mums nurse was at her wits end with it and rightly so.

Mums new MHT are now up to speed and will review her meds this week -thank god its taken ages to get this done as well.

And finally a referral to the continence service

It takes so much energy chasing things we shouldn't have to chase.....
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,660
Everything sorted finally. Poor mum has been struggling with breathlessness and huge swollen legs for the last four weeks and the GP's surgey hadn't past on the faxes. I wouldn't mind if mum had been comfortable during that time but she hadn't. Mums nurse was at her wits end with it and rightly so.

Mums new MHT are now up to speed and will review her meds this week -thank god its taken ages to get this done as well.

And finally a referral to the continence service

It takes so much energy chasing things we shouldn't have to chase.....
a constructive day all in all, but an emotionally exhausting one ... I find pacing the floor while on the phone helps - but I’m wearing out a patch on the floor!!

jokes aside it’s wrong that we have to chase all the time..
((( hugs)))
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
717
Hi @Palerider , that's really good news for your Mum - makes you wonder what happens when someone doesn't have an diligent advocate chasing their cause - I guess the answer is absolutely nothing,
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,660
@Palerider - thought of you as I turned in the tumble dryer ! & I smiled ...in the nicest of ways!
I expect there are folks out there thinking weird random thoughts like this about us all..
.... makes you wonder what object will trigger that response about yourself
Random ...I know
😊
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,236
Sorry you've had to do so much chasing @Palerider, but hopefully your mum's meds will get properly reviewed and her various health problems sorted.
I (or maybe the care home) seem to have struck lucky with mum's GP. I'd heard how good she was, and when she phoned me up for a general chat about mum I was impressed. She obviously keeps a look out for all the residents not just those she's officially there to see.
 

Sam Luvit

Registered User
Oct 19, 2016
5,901
East Sussex
Driving to work yesterday down the counties meant drving through a few deep road ponds
Apparently someone reported the washing machine wouldn’t spin, I suggested the possibility that the machine was “out of balance”, as happens if too little or one heavy item. It’s a safety feature of modern machines. They said I could try using the machine, if I wanted to. I took the risk, as I was running out of clean clothes & didn’t fancy trying to find parking & then sitting in a launderette fir a few hours ... it worked. Inow have sweet smelling clothes back in my tiny wardrobe :D

The road puddles here are right across the width of the road. Other Road users drove through at speed, the water came off them above the height of their cars ... I drove gently through the middle of the road
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,650
North West
Sorry you've had to do so much chasing @Palerider, but hopefully your mum's meds will get properly reviewed and her various health problems sorted.
I (or maybe the care home) seem to have struck lucky with mum's GP. I'd heard how good she was, and when she phoned me up for a general chat about mum I was impressed. She obviously keeps a look out for all the residents not just those she's officially there to see.
Thanks @Sarasa -the down side of mum being moved is that she has lost her old GP who was brilliant, unfortunate that we couldn't take mums GP with her. Sounds like you've struck lucky with this GP:)
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,650
North West
@Palerider - thought of you as I turned in the tumble dryer ! & I smiled ...in the nicest of ways!
I expect there are folks out there thinking weird random thoughts like this about us all..
.... makes you wonder what object will trigger that response about yourself
Random ...I know
😊
I am glad the tumble dryer made you smile and think of me -nothing more daunting than washing, made easier by the dryer in this house. I think I should write a song about tumble and dryer -:eek:
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,650
North West
Apparently someone reported the washing machine wouldn’t spin, I suggested the possibility that the machine was “out of balance”, as happens if too little or one heavy item. It’s a safety feature of modern machines. They said I could try using the machine, if I wanted to. I took the risk, as I was running out of clean clothes & didn’t fancy trying to find parking & then sitting in a launderette fir a few hours ... it worked. Inow have sweet smelling clothes back in my tiny wardrobe :D

The road puddles here are right across the width of the road. Other Road users drove through at speed, the water came off them above the height of their cars ... I drove gently through the middle of the road
I wonder if whoever reported hadn't checked properly the spin was working -most frustrating

Yes watch out for those road puddles -I got covered the other day as a van on the opposite side of the road to me decided not to slow down -car was drenched and covered in **** 🤨
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,650
North West
Last night I washed and dried mums new incontinence sheets and labelled them. I thought about making a video about incontinence sheets and my experiences so I did, but I am too shy to post it on TP

Yesterday in the CH I was told by a carer I hadn't met before that they had thrown mums slippers out. This caused a bad reaction from me and as I gritted my teeth and tried to speak nicely I said 'they cost 35 quid' - I was near exploding after the day I'd had already at that point. Turns out they hadn't thrown them out, but had taken them off mum as the souls had started to come away which of course is the right thing to do. I just mentioned in passing that its probably not a good idea to go up to a relative as they just walk in, who they don't know and tell them they've just thrown their mums expensive slippers out. I suggested saying something like 'we've had a problem with your mums slippers......' We were both chuckling as the realisation hit home how it came over initially.

They also can't find ,mums second pair of slippers, clearly she has put them somewhere in another room. So now I have created a 'Jeans slipper identification chart' (I know, but we have to make it simple, labelling isn't enough) and also ordered another pair of coseyfeet slippers for mums swollen feet. I am also trying to glue the broken pair, but its not looking good....

I am back to work for the next two days and will be grateful to have a break from this
 
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Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,650
North West
Things aren't going very well at all. Had a phone call from Mums SW, the two LA's are arguing over funding which is about boundaries more than anything, but with the way mum is her SW is also trying to apply for full nursing care funding. Its close to finishing me off to be honest and to top of that I just had an email from the neighbouring housing guys to say my application is rejected as I have no immediate connection with the area ......consequently I am sat here in tears and just utterly fed up......I just think to myself I wish this would all end somehow😞🥺
 

Melles Belles

Registered User
Jul 4, 2017
405
South east
Hi @Palerider you get no thanks or support when you stop caring (hands on). It makes me furious on your behalf. Have you looked at your housing group.co.uk which is for key workers in the north west?
The government needs to look at support re housing and from DWP when carers are no longer doing 24 hour care.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,660
Sorry you've had to do so much chasing @Palerider, but hopefully your mum's meds will get properly reviewed and her various health problems sorted.
I (or maybe the care home) seem to have struck lucky with mum's GP. I'd heard how good she was, and when she phoned me up for a general chat about mum I was impressed. She obviously keeps a look out for all the residents not just those she's officially there to see.
That’s so lovely you lucky thing!
x
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,660
Last night I washed and dried mums new incontinence sheets and labelled them. I thought about making a video about incontinence sheets and my experiences so I did, but I am too shy to post it on TP

Yesterday in the CH I was told by a carer I hadn't met before that they had thrown mums slippers out. This caused a bad reaction from me and as I gritted my teeth and tried to speak nicely I said 'they cost 35 quid' - I was near exploding after the day I'd had already at that point. Turns out they hadn't thrown them out, but had taken them off mum as the souls had started to come away which of course is the right thing to do. I just mentioned in passing that its probably not a good idea to go up to a relative as they just walk in, who they don't know and tell them they've just thrown their mums expensive slippers out. I suggested saying something like 'we've had a problem with your mums slippers......' We were both chuckling as the realisation hit home how it came over initially.

They also can't find ,mums second pair of slippers, clearly she has put them somewhere in another room. So now I have created a 'Jeans slipper identification chart' (I know, but we have to make it simple, labelling isn't enough) and also ordered another pair of coseyfeet slippers for mums swollen feet. I am also trying to glue the broken pair, but its not looking good....

I am back to work for the next two days and will be grateful to have a break from this
Take them into gimps is they will glue them for you
Xx
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,660
Things aren't going very well at all. Had a phone call from Mums SW, the two LA's are arguing over funding which is about boundaries more than anything, but with the way mum is her SW is also trying to apply for full nursing care funding. Its close to finishing me off to be honest and to top of that I just had an email from the neighbouring housing guys to say my application is rejected as I have no immediate connection with the area ......consequently I am sat here in tears and just utterly fed up......I just think to myself I wish this would all end somehow😞🥺
Oh lovely don’t take no for an answer, you are a key worker - office based Muppets!!!

please post your video ...

Contact the local councillor & ask them to be your advocate.
I don’t believe no is an option available ...
no links to the area .... really why do idiots always have positions of authority!!!

amgoing through the cHC funding with Mum, & I am leaving the relevant authorities duke it out!
A first for me!
x
(((((Bighugs)))
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
717
Simply how awful @Palerider - sometimes it can feel extremely lonely having to deal with everything yourself - tears of sadness and frustration I would imagine. I think the housing situation is totally unfair, to say you have no connection and as a key worker their response is rather insulting. On the funding issue I have witnessed the battle between authorities and the NHS Trust many times (CHC) - I think for the family it makes you feel as though your loved one is some kind of commodity - with that one you can only take a back seat and ask them to let you know the outcome when it is resolved, as long as your Mum is being looked after and is happy in her world that is the main thing. Some days everything does seem impossible with the relentless getting over hurdles and obstacles - I just hope today is a better day for you. Stay strong, all the best.
 

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
597
Sorry to hear it hasn't been going well. Getting the agencies involved with CH matters to co-ordinate is a nightmare. I have been hugely lucky in that Mummy's CH has a mental health outreach team who have been invaluable in advising about her ASBO behaviour and getting drugs changed. GP doesn't want to prescribe as she has a long history of psychiatric care and is on an exciting cocktail of drugs. Sadly you have to keep fighting, even when you don't want to.
Care homes have their own ways - i was asked to buy various types of underwear for Mummy, to support stoma care. Weeks after I found quite a lot of it squirreled away in her room unused. It is tough, as care staff have a very hard job but as a relative it can feel like being in the middle, which isn't very comfortable.
 

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