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A lifelong friend and me

Mothers daughter

Registered User
Feb 4, 2020
16
I have spent a fortune on clothes for Mum in the past, especially knickers!!! I like to make sure she has nice clothes to wear but it is funny to see some other lady wearing her slippers after wandering into her room and then a couple of days later she has them back. No way am I confronting Sylvia - she has a habit of giving a back hander if you're not careful!!!! I have found M&Co are marvelous especially when the sales are on - some really good bargains to be had in the sort of clothes Mum likes to wear.
I just wish I knew what she does with her glasses...………….
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,663
North West
Hi Palerider
I've just caught up with your thread, having been away for a few days. Sorry to hear about your difficulties with hurtful comments, and your worry over housing. I don't have any ideas about the housing having not been in that position and not sure how it all works. I do hope you get it sorted soon.
It sounds as if your mum is settling into her new home, so that's a real positive for you.
Thanks @anxious annie. Yes mum is settling and is becoming a character with the staff which is good -they all like her and think she's a sweetie.

Time to start sorting myself out now 😬
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,663
North West
I have spent a fortune on clothes for Mum in the past, especially knickers!!! I like to make sure she has nice clothes to wear but it is funny to see some other lady wearing her slippers after wandering into her room and then a couple of days later she has them back. No way am I confronting Sylvia - she has a habit of giving a back hander if you're not careful!!!! I have found M&Co are marvelous especially when the sales are on - some really good bargains to be had in the sort of clothes Mum likes to wear.
I just wish I knew what she does with her glasses...………….
Hmm the glasses are another saga here too, but they come and go, so at least I know there is a cycle to there wandering :rolleyes:👓

The underwear problem has come to light more as mum wanders round she changes in which ever room she is in -leaving a trail of her clothes all over the place. The staff do return her stuff once they realise its mums. She had even hidden her walking stick down the side of her bed and had the staff puzzled all day long till they found it
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
720
The staff do return her stuff once they realise its mums. She had even hidden her walking stick down the side of her bed and had the staff puzzled all day long till they found it
Hi @Palerider, it does sound like the staff are getting to know your Mum's needs, and hopefully all of the 'secure' places that she puts things. Have you had any joy on the accommodation front?
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,813
Not sure of your age but I know several that although advertised as retirement do have people who work living in them. Good luck in your search. X
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,813
Hi @AliceA -sods law I am 53 this year
Worth a try though especially with a new build as the company needs to fill the flats and it is a slow market. You have a respectable position too.

Just a word of warning, the price of new flats is inflated because it can take a while to fill the development. Hence the price is often projected to the expected price in say two years.
The developers have to cover the service charge for the empty flats so factor that in too.
The housing market is slow so it could take a time. That could work in your favour re age.

Second hand flats are more realistic as families need to sell and also have to consider the market.
Looking at the history of retirement development the price is much lower when they were originally built.
Check the lease carefully, we both led a group to extend the lease as they were getting near 80 years. To extend them under 80 is expensive, because there is a 'marriage' cost. This does not apply to over the 80 years. At 53 you have to be thinking of resale too.
Some Solititors are not familiar wth retirement scheme leases. We are see a large firm as they had wider knowledge.
One advantage is that the flats are pretty secure to lock and leave, good for travel plans. good luck. Xxx
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,663
North West
Worth a try though especially with a new build as the company needs to fill the flats and it is a slow market. You have a respectable position too.

Just a word of warning, the price of new flats is inflated because it can take a while to fill the development. Hence the price is often projected to the expected price in say two years.
The developers have to cover the service charge for the empty flats so factor that in too.
The housing market is slow so it could take a time. That could work in your favour re age.

Second hand flats are more realistic as families need to sell and also have to consider the market.
Looking at the history of retirement development the price is much lower when they were originally built.
Check the lease carefully, we both led a group to extend the lease as they were getting near 80 years. To extend them under 80 is expensive, because there is a 'marriage' cost. This does not apply to over the 80 years. At 53 you have to be thinking of resale too.
Some Solititors are not familiar wth retirement scheme leases. We are see a large firm as they had wider knowledge.
One advantage is that the flats are pretty secure to lock and leave, good for travel plans. good luck. Xxx
Thanks @AliceA -will keep trying
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,663
North West
Well its been a difficult week with the appraisal at work as well. I think the last two years have really taken my focus away from work and its time to re-focus, which I find hard at the moment. I've gone from a grade 1 to a grade 2 (progression slower than expected) -what does that mean in the scheme of things? I know it means I need to start getting my act together and that although I love mum very much I have to start getting back on form with everything else in life in particular my job. I have to get my head round this emotional difficulty I'm having somehow.....🤨

Popped in to see mum, she had just jad a shower (seems to becoming better) and we sat and talked after taking a few minutes for her to settle and fold her tissues several times over. Took her a Costa coffee and she fell asleep with her blanket on her knees so I left. Spoke with her nurse (who is lovely) and they are trying to get mum memantine as they feel the donepezil is not of benefit now she is progressing -its worth a try I guess
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,660
Well its been a difficult week with the appraisal at work as well. I think the last two years have really taken my focus away from work and its time to re-focus, which I find hard at the moment. I've gone from a grade 1 to a grade 2 (progression slower than expected) -what does that mean in the scheme of things? I know it means I need to start getting my act together and that although I love mum very much I have to start getting back on form with everything else in life in particular my job. I have to get my head round this emotional difficulty I'm having somehow.....🤨

Popped in to see mum, she had just jad a shower (seems to becoming better) and we sat and talked after taking a few minutes for her to settle and fold her tissues several times over. Took her a Costa coffee and she fell asleep with her blanket on her knees so I left. Spoke with her nurse (who is lovely) and they are trying to get mum memantine as they feel the donepezil is not of benefit now she is progressing -its worth a try I guess
Memantine worked wonders for Aged Mother
Let’s hope xx
Key workers are now getting more priorities on the housing market - fingers crossed
Xx
53 years wise ! Xx
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,663
North West
Well I finally have the tumble dryer I talked about months ago, although mum is now in a CH I have realised I still need it. Justified because I work long hours and spend my free time sorting mum out OR endlessly trying to dry washing in the constant rain, so much so I now have a back log of wet and damp items and nowhere to dry them .....I wonder if watching the tumble dryer is the same as watching the washing machine????
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,238
South coast
My tumble dryer has broken and I too am desperately trying to dry wet washing indoors.
The carer who came today was very bemused to see that in place of the curtains I had clipped some trouser/skirt hangers (the sort with a peg at each end of the hanger) onto a sheet and had hung them on the curtain rail!!
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,181
Bedford
I would think tumble dryers might be more hypnotic due to a more consistent pattern of tumbles that a washing machine. However I think a good book or watching an absorbing film maybe better for ones health
 

Sam Luvit

Registered User
Oct 19, 2016
5,901
East Sussex
If you put all your washing on hangers and then “hang” them in doorways, max of 4 per doorway to allow enough air to circulate, it will dry overnight.

Sheets or towels can be hung over the top of doors, but you need the swop them over (top to tail), as the part hanging down the edge of the door tends not to dry evenly.

Trick from my broke student days @canary
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,813
Roll urgent things in a towel and tread the water out, when drying indoors open a window a little to prevent condensation.
Clothes can get by with an airing and spot clean too. There was a time without washing machines, ah, I remember it well!