Hi all
I've been catching up on some of the posts on this thread. Sylvia, the repetition thing rings lots of bells. Mum has always been a talker but we've noticed it's increasingly difficult to get a word in edgeways on the phone. And most of what she says is repeated at least once - week after week. Is this a phase that AD/VD sufferers go through or is it something that continues once it's started?
I've also come across this type of conversation with some of my clients at a local CH and I didn't realise at first that it's a symptom of dementia. Their medical histories usually just say 'short term memory loss'. I'm a chiropodist and their main concern is how they are going to pay me, e.g.
X - I haven't got my handbag with me you know.
Me - That's OK. I just give the invoice to the office and they sort it out.
X - Oh good.
Short pause
X - I don't know how I'm going to pay you. I haven't got my purse.
Me - You don't need to worry about it. The manager will pay me.
X - Did I bring my handbag with me?
Me - No, I expect it's in your room. You don't need it anyway.
And so on - all through their treatment. I usually try to distract them by talking about the weather or about what they'll be having for dinner that day. But if I had to deal with it all day, every day I'd be tearing my hair out. It's quite understandable to not always be quite as calm about it, and I know I've sometimes snapped at my mum. She then sounds a bit hurt and that makes me feel awful as I now understand she can't help it.
Today she spoke to my youngest son and he said she said the same thing 3 times within the space of as many minutes. It was his birthday yesterday. I waited in vain for her to phone and wish him happy birthday when he got in from school(stupid of me to even contemplate that she'd remember). I decided to phone her instead so he could thank her for his card and cheque (which I'd got her to write last time I saw her - to make sure he'd get one from her). In the end, because of a late dinner etc etc, it got too late and we had to do it today instead.
I'm sure that despite saying it was his birthday yesterday it still didn't really register. When she spoke to him she didn't ask if he'd had a good day, or about what he'd done or what other presents he'd had. All she kept repeating was that it was better to give him some money as she wouldn't know what to buy him. Last year she phoned on the day gushing about her 'birthday boy' and how much he'd grown etc etc. It's so sad to see this deterioration. She couldn't even remember what month her other grandson's birthday is, although she has remembered he'll be 18 - though I'm doubting she actually understands the significance of that number. I know I'm going to have to make sure she gets an appropriate card but I'll feel really awkward about suggesting that she will no doubt want to give him something a bit more than her usual present, which I know she would if she were well. I just hope by the end of August she still remembers he is her grandson.
I'm just in the early stages of dealing with this dreadful disease and from what I've read on this forum, some of you have been coping with it for many years. I'm so glad I found this site as I find it such a help to be able to chat with people who understand what I'm going through with mum. I'm off to bed now and I wish you and your loved ones a very good night's sleep.
Chris