A life in the day of.........................

[connie]

Happy birthday Dirhen

Sylvia, hope the sun shines for the next two weeks, lots of lovely tennis for Dirhen to watch.

Give him an extra hug for his birthday, with love. Hope you both have a good day.

 

[Margaret W]

My 27 year old daughter always brings her laptop and I immediately regard it as a way of not speaking to us in person. I resent it's prescence. Get rid, I say, when you visit people you visit them, not a computer, whatever it might show. Print out your photos on paper, do what the person is used to.

Regards

Margaret

I wonder if dementia sufferers have a particular problem with computers, as I guess for many sufferers they are something they didnt know about pre dementia days.
About a year ago when my mother still lived in her bunglaow I used to take mine when I visited her. It upset her so much I had to stop, she would become really distressed about "that thing" in her house, even when I tried to show her pictures of her grandchildren on it.
Even now, if I inadvertantly mention it or she happens to see one in the homes offices she gets very frightened. ..and yet she doesnt react to small lcd televisions, mobile phones, or any of the other new technology.

 

[Margarita]

Wishing Dirhen a happy birthday, hope you both have a peaceful day xx

 

[Skye]

Happy birthday Dhiren!

Hope you both have a lovely, peaceful day.

Love,

 

[Grannie G]

Thank you Connie, Margarita and Hazel.

We had a big upset last night, which was so bad, he wouldn`t speak to our son who came round with a card and cash gift. He told Paul I`d been screaming and swearing at him, when in fact he was the one who`d been screaming and swearing.

This morning he has no recollection of anything, but is mortified. He has forgotten Paul came and wants me to return the money as he said he doesn`t deserve it.

He has referred to himself as `senile`. He has asked me to get him tablets to dope him, so he doesn`t behave so badly.

This is the first time Paul has seen him as bad as this, and he was very upset, feeling useless. He cannot understand how the Consultant says Dhiren`s condition has not deteriorated, just going by the MMSE test and a few minutes conversation. Paul said he has seen a big decline in his level of conversation and his cognitive ability, recently.

We were going out for lunch, but are both too subdued, so will see how the day pans out.

 

[Lucille]

Hello Sylvia

Sorry to hear about the latest episode. I agree with your son about the MMSE test/consultant's viewpoint. I think the disease should be looked at holistically rather than a quick test and chat. It should be a 24-hour observation more like! Not practical, I know, but you'd think there would be some ongoing way of looking at things.

Have had a conversation with mum's CPN this morning along similar lines. Won't hijack your thread, will post separately.

Just to say thinking about you, hope lunch wasn't too traumatic and that Dhiren enjoys his birthday.

 

[Grannie G]

Well Lunch is off. Dhiren has gone out, without a coat, jumper or brolly, with rain threatening, `for a walk`. This is the first birthday we have been unable to celebrate. A milestone Birthday, and a milestone non-event. He has put all his cards away, out of the way.

 

[Skye]

So sorry, Sylvia. These 'milestones' are devastating, aren't they? Perhaps when he comes back he'll be in a better mood and you will be able to have better evening. I hope so.

Love,

 

[Grannie G]

Thanks Hazel, but I`m not holding my breath. I think we`re on a downwards spiral.

Hope you had a better night last night and have managed to catch up on sleep.

xx

 

[Skye]

Thanks, Sylvia. Had a good night last night, felt good this morning.

Went out shopping (Crossroads), and came back to a major clean-up operation. Is it worth it?

Now he thinks it's bedtime!

 

[Grannie G]

Wishful thinking..............

Would it be good to start an Alzheimers Community Farm, based on the idea of the Israeli Kibbutz.

We could all live in our individual homes, care for the ones we love, but our whole community would be au fait with the condition.

We could provide respite for each other, company, support, have a communal laundry service, kitchen, gardeners, handy man, etc. etc. etc.

The younger ones who have to work, could go with peace of mind. Those who had young families could have quality family time.

And so on, and so on, and pigs might fly....................

 

[Skye]

And so on, and so on, and pigs might fly....................

Just seen one flying over............. Oh no, it was a huge seagull. More mess to clean up!

Great idea, Sylvia. Let's see how quickly you can set it up!

 

[Margarita]

And so on, and so on, and pigs might fly

Yes Hazel , Sylvia I saw the pigs fly also , then relised I was dreaming , but oh what a lovely dream it was

We could all live in our individual homes, care for the ones we love, but our whole community would be au fait with the condition.

We could provide respite for each other, company, support, have a communal laundry service, kitchen, gardeners, handy man, etc. etc. etc.

The younger ones who have to work, could go with peace of mind. Those who had young families could have quality family time.

 

[Grannie G]

Great idea, Sylvia. Let's see how quickly you can set it up!

Watch this space......................

 

[jeanierec]

I think that is a fantastic idea Sylvia........its sometimes easier to have patience with other people `cos you`re slightly detached and the hugs would be for real and what a comfort we could all be for each other in difficult times and the games we could play in the wee small hours when everything feels at its most hopeless `cos mostly its just you and your thoughts !


Forget Gordon Brown .....I propose Sylvia for Prime Minister.....Hurrah !!!

Love Jeanie x x

 

[Grannie G]

Now, a life in the day and night.................

Yesterday,
Out together a.m. to Cliftonville. 11am till 12.30pm. I had bitten off more than I clould chew, my first day out, I ended up on the verge of tears, I was so slow, and in pain.
Home for lunch.
1.30pm He `was bored` went for a walk, [in the pouring rain].
Returned 2.30pm.
4pm, `Going Home`, bank queries, how to get money etc.
5.30pm All suits out of wardrobe, unzipping covers to see them.....
I put them away.
Had dinner.
He slept all evening. Woke once when I lit the fire and said he feels he`s floating.
I woke him at 10pm for bed. He gets back ache sleeping too long in the chair.

Today,
He woke me at 1. 45am talking about home, his mother, his cousin in Patna, his maternal grandmother, family name, reminiscing.
I was cross, saying he shouldn`t wake me in the night. He denied waking me, saying he spoke and I answered so I must have been awake.
I made a cup of tea and we went back to bed at 3.30a.m.
Woke at 7a.m. saying his head was bad, confused , muddled.
He wanted to switch the radiator on in the bedroom. He`s alwys cold. He couldn`t find the plug. From the bed, I said `I`ll do it`. He said `you haven`t got a long enough arm.`
12.30pm.
He took all his suits from the wardrobe for the charity bag. He took them all out of their covers, then put them all back in the wardrobe, except one jacket, 18 years old, and an old winter coat.
He`s going to the bank tomorrow.
1p.m.
I made his lunch and all the time he has been asking how to travel to India/Manchester/London. He now wants to go to the High Commisioner to ask him the way.
We will sell the house and have half each.

Why am I worrying that he won`t have a bath.

 

[Skye]

Why am I worrying that he won`t have a bath.

Because you love him!

But he's no longer the person you fell in love with and have spent most of your life in a happy, sharing relationship with.

He's turned into the sort of person you would never have married in a million years.

But we don't stop loving them, do we? Even when we have to clean up their messes, wait on them hand and foot, and get nothing but abuse in return.

Because the person we married is still there, and the occasional glimpses we get are enough to make us keep on trying.

You'll keep on keeping on, Sylvia, because of the loving person you are, and the loving person he was, and still is when this dreadful disease lets him.

It's hard, and it gets harder. I can't help you to cope with it, but believe me I know how you feel, and I suffer with you.

Love and hugs,

 

[Cliff]

Why am I worrying that he won`t have a bath

Have just read the postings by Sylvia and Hazel and realise just how lucky I am.

We sleep so well. I'm very tired by bedtime and couldn't cope if I didn't sleep. So I feel for you Sylvia.

You must be a remarkable lady with lots of inner strength - Cliff

 

[Grannie G]

Thank you Cliff.

We normally get a good night`s sleep, but if my husband sleeps during the evening, he obviously doesn`t sleep well at night.

Take care xx

 

[connie]

Sylvia, you put my moans to shame.

Hope tomorrow will be brighter for you both.

Has Dirhen been watching the tennis at all?