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A life in the day of.........................

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Grannie G, Jun 4, 2007.

  1. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    70,101
    Kent
    Yesterday we spent some pleasant hours looking at photos of our holidays in India and watching a DVD of Andrea Boccelli.

    Today..........
    D `When did we go to Las Vegas?`
    S `We`ve never been to Las Vegas.`
    D `I thought we saw Andrea Boccelli in Las Vegas.`
    S `We saw Andrea Boccelli on a DVD/video which was set in Las Vegas.`
    D `Didn`t we go?`
    S `No. It was on the television.`
    D `I thought we went to las Vegas.`
    S `We haven`t even been to America, never mind las Vegas.`
    D `Is Las vegas in Ameria?`
    S `Of course it is.`
    D `So did we see Gandhi`s Memorial on television?`
    S `We saw Gandhi`s memorial in India, twice, but yesterday you were looking at the photos we took while we were there.`
    D `Did we go to India?`
    S `Twice.`
    D `That`s wonderful. But we didn`t go to Las Vegas?`
    S `No.`
    D `I can`t remember anything.`
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    70,101
    Kent
    How I wish Dhiren would take advantage of what has been offered, however inadequate.

    Nothing will cure him, but a bit of social interaction would get him away from the house for a few hours, reduce his isolation, give him something to get up for and look forwards to, and enable him to be less dependent on me.

    A few simple OT movements might reduce his stiffness, help his mobility and give him an experience of group activity.

    And this, I think, would improve his quality of life.
     
  3. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Spot on, Bruce.

    John used to love going out in a small group with AS, either visiting a place of interest, or going to a pottery and painting pots to bring home. Those were things we did together anyway.

    Day centre was something else, and he saw it as being 'dumped', he would rather have come shopping with me.

    Perfect example of OT, Barb, well done. Ron felt he was doing something useful, and was still an equal partner in your home.

    Sylvia, is there not a joint project you and Dhiren could tackle together, which would take his mind off the past and increase his mobility? Perhaps watching so many programmes about India is increasing his nostalgia?

    I don't know, just a suggestion.

    Love,
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    70,101
    Kent
    Hazel, I have tried everything.

    The interest in everything Indian has always been there, as that`s who he is. It`s a bit like ex-pats in Spain wanting `typical English pubs` and `full English breakfasts.` :)

    I have to let him take the lead in his interests. He still watches UK and American news and listens to music. Yesterday, as well as looking at photos of India, we listened to Any Questions and Any Answers on Radio 4. So it isn`t all Indian. :)
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    70,101
    Kent
    #1525 Grannie G, Mar 2, 2008
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2008
    Our meal out at our son`s, for Mother`s Day became `Meals on Wheels.`

    Dhiren has slept all morning and the odd time he woke, his speech was slurred, his eyes unfocusing and all he wanted to do was go back to sleep.

    Paul and our eldest granddaughter brought our meal round, a delicious Thai Curry and Chocolate Fudge Gateau, as well as a beautiful card and flowers.

    I must admit to being upset not to have been able to go. It`s not the Mother`s Day ritual that was important, it was getting out of the house for a change, having a meal with the family and seeing our grandchildren.

    Dhiren seems all right now, but is very unsteady. He thinks he might have a virus. I`m wondering about a TIA.
     
  6. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,442
    Could be Sylvia - the transient nature of this seems to suggest that. Trouble is, there's no way to be sure. A regular stroke leaves signs, and actually, can be tracked as it's happening, but these - well they're called "transient" for a reason. I assume his blood sugar's OK?

    I know what you mean about it not being the ritual, it's the missed opportunity.
     
  7. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Sorry your day didn't go as expected, Sylvia. It's a shame you missed the chance to get out.

    I hope Dhiren's feling better now.

    Love,
     
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    70,101
    Kent
    He is still sleeping on and off. Awake for a couple of hours this afternoon, watched the best part of Poirot, had dinner then back to dozing.
     
  9. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Could be TIA, could be virus, could be another step down. Just have to wait and see, I suppose, and hope he's feeling better tomorrow. It's the not knowing that makes it so hard.

    John has slept all day today too, no response at all, after being comparatively alert yesterday.

    All we can do is hope.

    Love,
     
  10. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    70,101
    Kent
    He has gone to bed.
     
  11. lesmisralbles

    lesmisralbles Account Closed

    Nov 23, 2007
    5,543
    Another day

    With it being Mother's day, mum came round for a roast beef lunch.
    Ron slept all morning, woke up, had all his lunch and pudding, and fell asleep again. That took care of the afternoon and early evening. Now, he is awake, I swear if he could, he would go
    dancing. Where I am now ready for a sleep. It mean's that we will have a bad night tonight. No sleep.
    But on the bright side, he is eating - very well.
    I cannot understand this illness, half an hour ago he got up - with help from me, and I asked where do you want to go, he said to make a cup of tea.
    I said OK, took him in the kitchen and watched, he made one Yippee. I bought Ron a feeding cup with a large straw that does not spill, and he carried it back to the lounge on his own, holding my arm. I felt so proud of him.
    Perhap's it is me wrapping him up in cotton wool, perhap's I should not be afraid and let him do anything he show's interest in. Motivating someone with this disease sometimes can be fruitless, I have been learning to spot the sign's when he can - and encourage him, and when he cannot and not to push.
    So tomorrow is another day.
    And quite frankly my dear's I DO GIVE A DAM.
    Barb X:)
     
  12. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Barb, so do we all. If we didn't, it wouldn't be so painful.:(

    Love,
     
  13. Westie

    Westie Registered User

    Sylvia, I'm sorry your day hasn't turned out as you had hoped for. Maybe Paul could have you and Dhiren around on another day for a belated gathering, giving you the chance for a little 'me' time. I do hope so.

    Wishing you a peaceful night and hope that Dhiren has a better day tomorrow.

    Love Mary-Ann
    x
     
  14. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    70,101
    Kent
    Thank you Mary Ann. :)

    Im more concerned about Dhiren than the missed meal out. It would have been nice, but there will be other times.

    I just want to see how he wakes up tomorrow as he is still sleeping.

    I hope Peter is all right and you are managing to come to terms with his being away from home.

    Love xx
     
  15. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Dear Sylvia,

    I am sorry that you have this worry and what you describe is exactly what happens with my mum.

    This has being happening to her on and off for quite awhile now.

    There could be so many different causes and hopefully it is just something as simple as, Dhiren being off colour.

    Love and Best Wishes

    Taffy.
     
  16. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    7,788
    East Midlands
    That's true, Taffy..it's always worth checking out other possibilities for the sleeping...very difficult to work out whether it is due to the AD..or a minor infection, off day, etc.

    Eric has big sleeps like this at least twice a day..and sleeps all night !

    Love Gigi xx
     
  17. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    70,101
    Kent
    It`s the AS Support Group today. Once again I am going by myself.

    Dhiren says he doesn`t need a support group as he is fit and well mentally and physically. He says I have a misconception of his state of health.

    But he doesn`t mind me going if it helps me. :rolleyes:
     
  18. Mameeskye

    Mameeskye Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007
    1,669
    NZ
    HI Sylvia

    Mum used to sleep a lot when she had done something different. I remember a friend saying once that you got tired with dementia becuase it was as if you were sitting a major exam every day jsut to get through the day.

    If it is sudden though it may just be due to a virus or jsut cause the weather was lousy at the weekend.

    Shame he won't go with you to the support group. It is so strange dealing with an illness that the person does not realise they are suffering from isn't it?

    (((hugs)))

    Mameeskye
     
  19. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    70,101
    Kent
    Thanks Mameeskye, :)

    I`ll remember that one, it`s probably very true.

    When I went out, I left a note, where I was, what time I`d left home, what time I`d return and my mobile number.

    When I got home, `Where have you been? I thought you`d hd an accident. I was coming to look for you.`
     
  20. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Hi Sylvia, hope the meeting was of interest and help.

    Hard on you I know, but at least he missed you. That must be some small comfort.
     
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