A life in the day of.........................

[Lynne]

Tina, Barb & Sylvia :-
If I believed it would do any good, I'd pray for you all. But .. (no offence to anyone's faith meant here, just how I am)

Barb:

"I have to watch everything I say .."

Not so, I believe. I have expressed some pretty strong views here myself at times, generating 'discussion' with moderators.
They have a responsibility to point it out to me if I am going over the top & saying things which might be hurtful or inconsiderate to other TP users. This site is such a godsend in that it allows us to let off steam, but sometimes (given the emotional strain that all us are under) we forget our inhibitions and go too far. Please, don't get obsessed with one mistake or incident and lose sight of the overall benefit we can all get from sharing our woes.

Sylvia:
Bucket loads of sympathy, truly genuine but not much practical help.
A suggestion re. the wallet (if this is still an item of concern tonight). How about putting it in Dhiren's PJ pocket?

Love to you all

 

[gigi]

don't get obsessed with one mistake or incident and lose sight of the overall benefit we can all get from sharing our woes.

Thanks for that Lynne,

One of the problems with being isolated in caring is that TP becomes something that the rest of the world doesn't understand.

It's here and familiar..any time..24/7..but because it's so important to us, if we do upset anyone..or "step out of line" it is upsetting..but nobody here judges..we share..that's the main thing..

Sylvia...hope your day has been better than yesterday..and that you've had some rest..

Love Gigi xx

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Lynne ansd Gigi.

Thanks for the support Lynne, on all fronts.
Dhiren has put his wallet in his PJ pocket at times, but it doesn`t seem the most comfortable of places, especially when he turns over.
He has also put it under his pillow, and then it has fallen down behind the bed.

We`ve had a much better day today, but I`ve had to work at it. Paul cannot believe Dhiren has no recall whatsoever about the events of yesterday.

Tomorrow we are invited for Mother`s Day Lunch. Paul is the chef.

Thanks again, both of you.

Love xx

 

[gigi]

Hello Sylvia,

Just to let you know that Eric also has a "thing" about his wallet..! He's always checking it to see what's in there..
So far, though..no trouble as you've had..

Today he earns all the money..
I do 90% of the work...
My mum is a wonderful person..
I don't spend enough time with him..

Hope you both enjoy tomorrow..and that you make the most of someone else cooking for a change..

Love Gigi xx

 

[BeverleyY]

Not been on this thread for a day or two.

Looks like there are tough times out there for many people My thoughts are with you.

I've been busy househunting in preparation for the possibility of downsizing in case I give my job up to look after Dad full time.

Have to say, this week has worked perfectly well with the GPS tracker and the carers popping in.

I love Dad, but I do like working. To be honest, it's been a distraction the past two weeks since being back.

Still crying loads over Mum. Sobbed like a baby on the train home on Thursday

Dad is in good spirits - still laughing when he puts the GPS tracker in his pocket, and asking if we think he is bonkers or something

Watched him eat an ice cream today. He was just like a little boy, in the middle of lunch when the ice cream man turned up. Ah, well, I'll have to eat the salad later he said, not like it will go cold... but the ice cream will melt! Couldn't argue with his logic, and it was funny to see him get scoff the ice cream in priority over his lunch Typical dad!

Beverley x

 

[Cliff]

It's so comforting to read this thread.

We've all got different problems to deal with and we tackle them our way.

I'm lucky because Dee doesn't wander at all. She started talking about how expensive everyhthing is and my heart sank. But it didn't last.

She has declined with a bump and it's very diificult to understand what she says now and a folded piece of paper is so precious I cannot touch it.

 

[Cliff]

It's so comforting to read this thread.

We've all got different problems to deal with and we tackle them our way.

I'm lucky because Dee doesn't wander at all. She started talking about how expensive everyhthing is and my heart sank. But it didn't last.

She has declined with a bump and it's very diificult to understand what she says now and a folded piece of paper is so precious I cannot touch it.

But despite being v difficult at the evening toilet she still mouths "I love you" ss I tuck her into bed - all my problems evaporate.

 

[gigi]

[QUOTEshe still mouths "I love you][/QUOTE]

Cliff..that's so special..I think you must be too!

Eric is still "self caring" as far as personal hygiene is concerned..and he doesn't wander..

Generally he's quite good humoured..but doesn't like me away from him..that in itself is a "problem"..but am able to deal with it for now...

You're so right in saying this thread is comforting..

My best wishes to you and Dee..

And to Sylvia and Dhiren..

Hoping we all have a quiet night..

Love Gigi xx

 

[Grannie G]

We`ve had really good day, all things considered. No sundowning today, no resentment, just lots of repetition about unimportant things.
No he is watching an Indian comedy show and chuckling away to himself.
It`s such a pleasure to see him smile. I wish he would more often.

We`re all becoming like the Waltons.

Goodnight Beverley
Goodnight Cliff and Dee
Goodnight Gigi and Eric
Goodnight everyone.

 

[connie]

And a goodnight from .....her.

Sylvia, Lionel was forever losing his wallet, as in physically dropping and losing it in the street.

This was many moons ago when he still walked to the shops for the paper etc.

I bought a wallet on a chain, which clipped on to a belt hook or buttonhole. It kept his wallet to hand, even when he kept checking it at home. At least, last thing at night, it was always with his trousers. (Just a thought).

 

[Grannie G]

Thanks Connie.
What a good idea. That sounds well worth looking out for. My next mission.
Love xx

 

[lesmisralbles]

Dear Barb,
You ask for help. What kind of help do you want? What kind of help would you accept?
Like me, you want to keep your husband at home, but you are having a hard time. It`s not a case of wallowing, it`s stating a fact.
But is there any help available that would be acceptable? If you have anything definitie you know would help you, I would love to know what it is. People say I need help, but I don`t know what to ask for. The help I know is available is not the help I can accept.
Love xx

Thank's Silvia,
The help (I that I know of) is available ( the help that I know of up to now) is not the help I can accept. I know you understand.
What are we entitled to ? Can we/I manage Ron's care package, without THEM getting involved, can we, Ron and I deceide what he would like to help him ? for instance,he does not want organised play time. He would like a back massage, for his Parkinson's, he would like to keep on his leg's for as long as possible, keep them moving and holding him up. He would like a holiday, where he know's if he need's wheelchair, we have one. I know not all of this is possible. But, whatever he want's, if it is in my power, he can and will have all of it.
Thank you
Love Barb and Ron XX

 

[Cliff]

Hello Barb, Try a google on Vitalise for holidays, it may be helpful.

Moderators, hope this is not advertising as they are a specialist organisation dealing with people with special needs.

Best wishes,

 

[gigi]

Hi Barb,

I do read your posts and wish I could help.

The help (I that I know of) is available ( the help that I know of up to now) is not the help I can accept.

It's a tricky one..

I'm only beginning on this journey with Eric..there does seem to be a lot to go into ..paperwork..finances etc...so I'm no expert..

I finished work at the end of last year to be here with Eric and still do not know whether or not I have carer's allowance..

I also know it's not a "bottomless pit"..There is only so much help available for us..

Is your local Alzheimers society able to give you some guidance?

Ron seems to be your priority and I admire you for that...

All I can offer is my support..

Love Gigi xx

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Barbara,
Have you asked for occupational and physio therapy for Ron? I would expect he should be entitled to something, to ease his discomfort and help him keep his mobility as long as possible.
I hope I`m not being naive here, but I would certainly ask his consultant.
Love xx

 

[lesmisralbles]

I and Ron thank you all

Occupational therepy - is PLAY TIME. Local centers for alzheimers. Put you all together in a room and play. Sorry, been there, seen that.
Physio, well that consists of a visit about every 8 month's of a physiotherapist to our home to show Ron the exersises she told him about 8 month before. He cannot do the exersises, he forgets, I try to help, he is tired he needs motivating so a one to one would help. Consultant, well Ron saw one (a rare breed) do not see them very often in england - unless you pay. Oh, there goes another flying pig.
He came between christmas and new year, I wonder why ? (no golf- ground frozen) I had to ring his sec to ask when do we get an appointment, that was last Wednesday - still waiting.
Social worker, waste of time.
He told me I have to be pro-active, what does he get paid for ?
Have any of you kind people had the above ?
And been so blo--y mad you want to shout and scream and rant and rave. I am sure you have.
Luv Barb and Ron XXXX

 

[Grannie G]

Sorry Barb but Occupational Therapy is not play time.

My dictionary defines it as;
1. therapy based on engagement in meaningful activities of daily life, especially to enable or encourage participation in such activities in spite of impairments or limitations in physical or mental functions;

Miracles are unlikely to happen with Ron`s condition, but surely something is better than nothing.
Sorry for being so outspoken.

 

[lesmisralbles]

Occupational Therepy

Sorry Barb but Occupational Therapy is not play time.

My dictionary defines it as;
1. therapy based on engagement in meaningful activities of daily life, especially to enable or encourage participation in such activities in spite of impairments or limitations in physical or mental functions;

Miracles are unlikely to happen with Ron`s condition, but surely something is better than nothing.
Sorry for being so outspoken.

I could go into a debate about this one. I am still going to call it a waste of time.
You are right, miracles are not going to happen.
I would rather he spend time with me discussing our new boiler- (we just had one fitted) his son coming round to tell his dad about his week, my mum coming tomorrow for Sunday lunch, it is mother's day. And the fact that our kitchen ceiling is about to fall down. That is occupational therepy, so' today I gave Ron a tape measure, told him to measure the room, he did.Took a while. It was all wrong, who cares. That occupied him, then I asked him to tell me what he wanted to do about the decor in our kitchen - he told me. OK, then he fell asleep, didn't say it was all good. But, that is our life, and I want him to be in control of as much of it as he can.
Please understand.
Barb X

 

[Grannie G]

I do understand Barb, but you keep asking for help.

All the stroke patients,road traffic accident patients and spinal injury patients would never get back on their feet without Physio and Occupational Therapy. I don`t think they call it play time.

Love xx

 

[Brucie]

All the stroke patients,road traffic accident patients and spinal injury patients would never get back on their feet without Physio and Occupational Therapy. I don`t think they call it play time.

and there you have the answer?

Those you mention have some chance of the therapy improving their main condition, and they and their relatives can see and understand that.

When someone has dementia, it is difficult enough to encourage them to do the everyday things, but it can be murder to have them do something that they simply can't see a reason for, and that we - wanting desperately something that will halt the progression of the dementia itself - probably think is a diversion, or even a sop.

Jan, on the 3 occasions we got to a Day Centre before she was banned, really became uptight at being plonked in a room with 70 and 80 year olds, sitting in a circle, throwing a soft ball between them. Not half as uptight as I got seeing my girl there.

Sometimes however we have to try anything that may relieve the progression of the conditions associated with dementia - and that includes OT. If it works, great; if it doesn't, and we see it as specious or just 'play' then that is another surfacing of the "once you have seen one person......"

all my own views, natch