A life in the day of.........................

[Pollyanna]

I felt so sad reading your post

It is not right and yet I don't think anyone will be too surprised to hear what happened. Luckily Dhiren has you, but as everyone here knows there are so many other people out there who don't have anyone to fight for them. What happens to them?!

I hope the meeting with the Ward Manager is a productive one, but most of all I hope Dhiren is OK today.

Thinking of you today.

xx

 

[Grannie G]

The manager said it is a very small ward and it is full of doctors, nurses and therapists attending to patients. There is no room for me.

I said I would take up no more room than the chair by the side of Dhiren`s bed.

 

[jeany123]

The manager said it is a very small ward and it is full of doctors, nurses and therapists attending to patients. There is no room for me.

I said I would take up no more room than the chair by the side of Dhiren`s bed.

If there are so many doctors, nurses and therapists why are patients being neglected, you did right I would have insisted as well,

 

[Izzy]

Quite right. Bill was on a bay with 6 beds. At times two if us were with him at meal times. It was easy to keep out if the way.

 

[Sue J]

The manager said it is a very small ward and it is full of doctors, nurses and therapists attending to patients. There is no room for me.

I said I would take up no more room than the chair by the side of Dhiren`s bed.

Dear Sylvia

I am sorry to read your's and Dhiren's experience.

It doesn't matter how small the ward is the priority for the doctors, nurses and therapists should be in fulfilling the needs of the patients and if they are unable to do that for reasons of lack of training, understanding of dementia or short staffing, lack of space, whatever, they should welcome support and help that is available - YOU - the vital link for Dhiren's care and wellbeing. Whoever feeds him should be able to sit on a chair by his bed so it shouldn't matter who it is but it does matter that it is someone who understands HIS needs. You should be part of his careplan.

I hope today is better. Thinking of you
love
Sue

 

[lin1]

Dear Sylvia
Am so sorry you have had this horrible experience.
I did wonder if this was what was happening to you.
When you have time and the strength please make a formal complaint.
No matter what she says Please don't let the ward manager sway you, the reason I say this is,
You may remember I used to work for part of the NHS as front line staff.
When a Donor had reason to complain they sometimes complained their and then to me.
providing they were happy with what I proposed, I dealt with it locally and did not report it up the line unless it was serious or medical.

However if hey followed our complaints procedure, it was thoroughly investigated, logged and left a clear trail, which included what had been done to rectify the problem to ensure it did not happen again and sometimes changed our working practices.
This is why I believe you should put in a formal complaint, to make sure it gets reported properly up the line.

Sending you a ((((((HUG))))))) Sylvia as I know it is a very hard time for you.
I hope that very soon Dhirren is well enough to be discharged and back to where they understand him so well.

 

[sue38]

It's so depressing that, depsite all the publicity and the campaigns, at the coal face nothing seems to be changing. Not letting you stay to help Dhiren does make you wonder what they don't want you to see...

It's good to hear however that Dhiren is drinking and eating soft food apparently without difficulty. Is he on any treatment other than the saline drip?

 

[lin1]

The manager said it is a very small ward and it is full of doctors, nurses and therapists attending to patients. There is no room for me.

She said what ???? Oh I understand that their is likely to be therapy and rehab going on in the ward, they may think some of this may be upsetting for visitors to see, but to say their was no room for you, takes the biscuit.

I said I would take up no more room than the chair by the side of Dhiren`s bed.

Good for you

 

[turbo]

Hello Sylvia, I do think a formal complaint would help.
Mum was on a stroke ward in February this year and we found her care much better than other wards she has been on in the same hospital. I was able to stay for as long as I wanted to.
I hope Dhiren is able to go back to his care home soon.


turbo

 

[Helen33]

I said I would take up no more room than the chair by the side of Dhiren`s bed.

Brilliant. I don't think I would have thought of such a quick response.

I am so glad that Dhiren is pain free and comfortable. He is still managing his smile and able, in that instance, to ask for a glass of water. He is still enjoying food. All these things are great blessings and long may they last. Some of these qualities would be in jeopardy of being lost prematurely without your presence and influence and I will be wishing you strength to manage all these visits to the hospital. I know how exhausting it is.

Love

 

[geum123]

I do hope Dhiren, and yourself have a better day today Sylvia.

I'm not going to comment on the disgraceful treatment you've both received,
because my thoughts on that score are unprintable, but I am sorry.
You shouldn't have to deal with that, on top of your worry and concern for Dhiren.

 

[Saffie]

Sylvia, like everyone else, I am appalled by the way both Dhiren and yourself, to a certain degree too, have been treated.
I am also full of admiration for the way you have responded in such a calm and assertive manner. I could hear you saying every word to those members of staff and can imagine the way you said them. No histrionics, just saying at is is and obviously getting the message across .
You need only copy your post out for the complaint and the recipient will get that message too.

I do hope that things are a little better today. Well, I really hope they are a lot better but a little would help. I'm sure they will be if you are there to ensure Dhiren's needs are met. Let's hope that Dhiren can soon get back to his home. Love to you. XXX

 

[mulhuis]

Hi Sylvia,
Sorry to hear of Dhiren's ill health and the distress you have been put through.
I would of thought that after at least 15 years this hospital would of improved but sadly not. My previous wife's grandmother was here and complained to my then wife of hunger. When staff were asked they stated that Mrs **** has been offered food but leaves it. My wife went over at a meal time to observe and watched as staff put food in front of her and then an hour later came back "Mrs **** not hungry today", and cleared away her plate. No one considered that as her hands were crippled with arthritis that she could not pick up cutlery. They were also told that she uses special cutlery on admission. Sad state of affairs.
Sylvia you are right to make a formal complaint. It is appaling that as the person who knows Dhiren best that you are not listened to. As a retired nurse i'm ashamed that the profession has treated someone like this. How many others receive the same treatment? Hopefully by you raising this issue it will prevent distress to other patients and carers.
If I can be of any help you know where I am.
Terry

 

[TinaT]

I was in tears reading your post about the treatment in hospital of yourself and Dhiran. I'm so very, very sorry to hear of the terrible time you both are experiencing.

Please do take up your complaint formally if not for yourselves then for those who follow.

xxTinaT

 

[loveahug]

HOW DARE THEY behave that way

But why are we not surprised, even those hospitals who have AS posters on the walls seem to be blind to dementia. It's all lip service to give everyone a warm glow that they are 'doing something' when all they are doing is your head in.

So sorry you're experiencing all this, as if life isn't difficult enough.

{{{BIG HUGS}}}

 

[2jays]

I have just read what you have been going through

I am so angry, numb, shocked, absolutely disgusted all at the same time, at the way this ward is run and what was said to you, and how Dhiren has been treated and allowed to basically starve and dehydrate - saline drip excluded.

No excuse at all for this Blatant neglect of a vulnerable adult. Especially as you were willing and able to take some of the pressure of caring for Dhiren from them.

I want to say ignorant uncaring bustards - but I won't because it's not nice.

That huge hug I'm keeping for you has just got bigger xxxxx

 

[NanLorac]

I hope that Dhiren has had better treatment in hospital today. Its disgusting what has happened in a time when Dementia has been in the news almost daily. I agree with Izzy and would also write to your MP.

Carol x

 

[Dazmum]

This is just terrible Sylvia, you would have thought that they would welcome you there to help with Dhiren, that's what I really don't understand. It makes me so angry, not only for you, but for vulnerable people who have no visitors or anyone to look out for them I do hope there is improvement today and that Dhiren will be back to his care home as soon as possible x

 

[creativesarah]

much support

Sarah

 

[maryw]

Oh Sylvia, I have just caught up with your news. I am so sorry you are having such a distressing time and I hope Dhiren is on the road to recovery and able to be back in the home soon. Your post about the visiting brought back many memories from the difficult time I had visiting my mother. They just wouldn't relax the rules about protected mealtimes. Yet in the stroke wards I visited in April/May when hubby was in hospital, they could not have been more helpful about visiting times. It seems to differ so much from hospital to hospital. Is he in M hospital or KC? I do hope Dhiren is on the mend x