A life in the day of.........................

[Sandy]

Hi Sylvia,

It must have been distressing to see a blip of that type of behaviour, but the really important thing is that Dhiren was able to change when you told him how his words affected you.

That shows that he has a fair amount of insight into how his actions affect your emotions and can change them to try and make things better.

Given how long he's had dementia, and the fact that he's not on any Alzheimer's medication, that's quite an amazing level of ability.

Take care,

 

[Grannie G]

Thanks everyone. I`ll see how he is tomorrow. I hope it was a `one off`.

Quote Sandy
Given how long he's had dementia, and the fact that he's not on any Alzheimer's medication, that's quite an amazing level of ability.

What I`d also like to shout from the rooftops is he`s also still on a very low dose of an antipsychotic.

There are so many scaring reports about antipsychotics, and yet it is Amisulpride, not Alzheimer`s medication, which has helped keep Dhiren on a relatively even keel for so long. I do wish these reports would show how helpful these drugs can be if they are managed and monitored carefully.
Surely Dhiren is not the only one who has been helped by this drug.

 

[connie]

Dear Sylvia,

There are so many scaring reports about antipsychotics, and yet it is Amisulpride, not Alzheimer`s medication, which has helped keep Dhiren on a relatively even keel for so long. I do wish these reports would show how helpful these drugs can be if they are managed and monitored carefully.

So very well brought to attention. Probably key words being "managed and monitored carefully". Sorry to read about the latest blip, but hope that things will soon be back to calm and comfort. Stay strong.

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Thanks everyone. I`ll see how he is tomorrow. I hope it was a `one off`.



What I`d also like to shout from the rooftops is he`s also still on a very low dose of an antipsychotic.

There are so many scaring reports about antipsychotics, and yet it is Amisulpride, not Alzheimer`s medication, which has helped keep Dhiren on a relatively even keel for so long. I do wish these reports would show how helpful these drugs can be if they are managed and monitored carefully.
Surely Dhiren is not the only one who has been helped by this drug.

That would make an interesting thread title in and of itself, Sylvia and you might get more responses if you took that issue and asked for other views in a dedicated thread. x

 

[Nan2seven]

Dear Sylvia,

The picture of Dhiren with his finger to his lips and saying "Shhh" was a very endearing one, even though he was asking you to stop telling him off in front of others ...

I hope you will find that to-day was just a blip and that he will be more like his old self tomorrow. Did you ever discover what it was that he thought you had spoiled?

Love, Nan XXX

 

[Grannie G]

Thank you Connie Nan and Deborah.

Nan
I think I spoiled his pleasure seeing me.

Deborah
I`ll take up yur suggestion and start a new Thread.

 

[Nan2seven]

Ahhh - so the thing to do then (applying this to Brian and my visits to him in hospital) is to speak to the nurse/ward sister or whoever BEFORE I walk into his room and put my coat and bag down on his bed. Before he spots me, in other words. Dear Dhiren, delighted to see you and then "kept waiting" while you spoke to the manager. We have both learned something to-day, then.

Love to you both, Nan XXX

 

[Grannie G]

But Nan. Make sure Brian doesn`t hear your voice.

 

[Grannie G]

I arrived at the home today a little apprehensive, not sure what to expect. My concern was unnecessary.

D `I `ve been looking for you. I want to be a motor mechanic.`
S `Let me take my coat off and you can tell me all about it.`

Took off coat, pulled up chair, held his hand and was ready.

S `Now tell me.`
D `I want to go to night school. I want to be a motor mechanic. `
S `This is new. What made you think of this?`
D `I`ve been thinking about it for 6 months.`
S `Why didn`t you tell me. I`m your wife. We have no secrets.`
D `I was thinking.` [At least he didn`t contradict me when I said I was his wife]

The manager [P] came in.`

S `Dhiren wants to be a motor mechanic.`
P `That will be useful.`
D to me, `Don`t tell everybody.`
S `I`m sorry. You know what I`m like. Can I tell Paul?`
D `Of course you can tell Paul.`
S `So what are you going to do?`
D `I want to go to night school to be a motor mechanic. I can`t sit all day doing nothing. `
S `I think it`s wonderful. I`ll see if I can find out about night schools for you.`
Then
S `Will I be able to help you?`
D `You can be the bookkeeper.`

This discussion continued for ages. It was wonderful. Just like when we were younger and used to make plans for our future.

Dhiren was going to have a beautiful workshop. I was going to do the books and have a shop where we would sell spare parts, sweets, flowers etc. We talked about all the things I would sell.
He would buy me a car. He could get a good one for £200 or £300.
He would have people working for him. He would be the boss.

Then there was something on the television about toilets and he said he wanted to go to the toilet. There had been a film on previously . I had taken little notice of it but with hindsight thought there might have been some reference to motor repair .

Whatever, it made for a really happy visit.

Later, the wheelchair was brought in to take him to the toilet. Dhiren slides his feet along the floor, refusing to keep them on the footrests.
P `Lift your feet Dhiren.`
And he did. I couldn`t believe what I was seeing. He didn`t lift his feet by straightening his legs. He lifted them using his thigh muscles.
Might this mean his dementia is responsible for his loss of mobility, rather than his physical weakness. I had thought this from the start and am now even more convinced.

He tired then. Too much excitement. But we had a lovely afternoon.

 

[donkey]

how lovely i thought i was there with you. it must be a relief for you . i had daves mobility confirmed today that its the dementia after he had mri on friday that ruled out spinal problems. happy that you had a better visit sylvia xxx

 

[BeckyJan]

I loved this report of your visit today.

I wonder if on future visits you can do more planning for tomorrow. If Dhiren can be stimulated in this way it will surely tire him for a night's sleep.

Its interesting about Dhiren lifting his legs. David used to drag his feet as if he were trying to walk whilst sitting in the wheelchair. We had to lift his feet onto the pedals as he usually failed to understand the instruction.

Take care

 

[Jo1958]

Oh Sylvia,
After the last few visits how wonderful, emotional for me so how much for you.
Kind regards, Jo

 

[maryw]

What a wonderful moment of shared intimacy, albeit in another world The feelings of wanting to share still remain.

 

[Grannie G]

I wonder if on future visits you can do more planning for tomorrow. If Dhiren can be stimulated in this way it will surely tire him for a night's sleep.

I`ll just go prepared to let Dhiren take the lead Jan. I`m sure if I make plans they`ll backfire on me.
Dhiren will not keep his feet on the foot rests Jan , but doesn`t make `walking movements` either. I really couldn`t believe my eyes when he lifted his legs.

Thank you Mary, Jo and Lyn.
It was a fun afternoon for me, a bit of fantasy land.
It`s a shame Dhiren will have forgotten all about it the minute I left, while the memories are still giving me pleasure.

 

[Helen33]

What a wonderful experience Sylvia I, too, felt I was there experiencing it with you. I can still picture the place and still see Dhiren sitting in his chair

It`s a shame Dhiren will have forgotten all about it the minute I left, while the memories are still giving me pleasure.
__________________

He may not be able to remember in the same way as if he would without dementia but he may remember in other ways (the feeling of contentment may remain in his being)? A bit like when I feel happy and enthusiastic well after a particular event. The event has gone and I might have forgotten about it because other things take over but the feelings of wellbeing can remain. One never knows.

Love

 

[nellbelles]

Sylvia

So glad that even with fantasy you had a good visit.

I had washing out on the line, and after it had rained Tom wanted to fetch it in
'As a blind engineer I worked to 10thou of an inch! of course I can fetch washing in'

UM.. but you cannot remember to put the lid on the kettle

 

[Grannie G]

Thanks Helen and Helen.

Helen/nellbelles
You put the lid on the kettle and let Tom bring the washing in. QED.

 

[nellbelles]

Am worried about the lid

3 times this week he has left it off and it will not switch off when it boils without the blooming lid

It is still one of his jobs, and if he wants a hot drink while I'm away

 

[Grannie G]

Could Tom get used to a new kettle.

I have a jug kettle with a hinged lid. Or you can buy closed kettles which you fill through the spout.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb...as=aps&field-keywords=kettles&sprefix=kettles

 

[nellbelles]

Thanks Sylvia

Not sure what to do about the kettle at the moment, I find a jug kettle difficult to tip and this one is 'kettle shaped' and finding a new one with a lead rather than a cordless is difficult.

Anyway sorry 'nicked' your thread