A life in the day of.........................

[DeborahBlythe]

Lottery

I'm worrying about that lottery win for Dhiren. I think it might open a few more doors than Sylvia needs!
Thinking of you both, and hoping you have a calmer day today, love Deborah

 

[Grannie G]

Well he went to buy another ticket and came home in disgust.

The ticket officer told him to Go Away.

His next step is to go to the next town, Ramsgate, but I know he doesn`t know where the staion is.

Poor thing, I feel so sorry for him. But I`m so grateful to the ticket officer.

 

[Margarita]

But I`m so grateful to the ticket officer.

Now I am sharing with you , that I am also grateful to the ticket officer .

did your Son have a word with the ticket officer ?

Just a thought as you said that

I asked him to buy some bread, as my online shopping didn`t deliver yesterday.

He forgot the bread but bought a lottery ticket

I was thinking that this may be the way in to get a carer in to help you , turning it around saying its you that needs help so she /he is coming around to help you with getting shopping in , help with the house work .

you are entitled to that help

( thats how I got a carer in for my mother saying I needed the help , But I said I needed the help to help me her wash , I don't think at this stage with Dhiren you could say that ( But I said I needed the help to her her )
Just for the moment now you need the help


So then he get use to having someone in the house & who knows in the future you could leave the person in the house to keep an eye on Dhiren . while you pop out

 

[Grannie G]

Hi Margarita, No our son didn`t see the ticket officer. He wanted to wait to see the Station Manager, but it would have had to have been on Friday when he finishes work early.

So the ticket officer told Dhiren to go away without being asked. I feel like sending him some flowers.
Thank you for also being grateful to the ticket officer. You are all such good friends, virtual or not.

And I will bear in mind your advice re getting a carer in to help me. It`s a good idea.
When I get to the GP, I will discuss it with him.

Dhiren went out again at 12.45pm., he`d only been home 15 minutes, and off he went again.
He looked so tired and weary, he even struggled to open the gate.
He was back within a few minutes, but then the garage door opened and he brought a suitcase inside.
I went to him and pleaded with him not to leave, I asked what he was looking for when he had everything he needed here. He said he would stay, and we put the suitcase back.

Then I made some lunch and he delivered the punchline.

`I`m not going away, I`ll stay here. After all, The devil you know is better than the devil you don`t know.`

 

[Natashalou]

oh Sylvia. Lets hope this is an end to his travels. You must be completly exhausted. I hope you can get some rest now.

 

[Grannie G]

Thank you Natasha, I`m not holding my breath.

Love xx

 

[Grannie G]

The truce lasted 2 hours.

As I have been up since 3.45a.m., I left Dhiren watching the tennis and came to listen to the radio and have a rest. I must have dozed off, to be woken by Dhiren putting his head round the door to tell me he was going to Manchester.

Out he went to return almost immediately, he`s going tomorrow. I said I thought he was staying here and he said when someone has senile dementia they don`t know what they`re doing.

`Senile Dementia` is a term I have never used. I am shocked. Where did that come from?

 

[jenniferpa]

Uh Sylvia, was he referring to himself or you? It sounds as if he's trying to dredge up the most hurtful things he can think of, either to "get" at you or if he was talking about himself, seeking your reassurance. However, since you can't always rely on the the fact that he knows he has dementia, perhaps he thought he was being sarcastic (along the lines of people saying things like "I'm going crazy" when they don't believe they are).

Jennifer

 

[Lucille]

Hello Sylvia

I've just read through all these posts. I'm so very sorry about what's happening. It's an understatement to say it's a nightmare.

I can't offer any practical advice, as the others have made good suggestions. I do know what you mean about Dhiren wanting to go out ... and that you can't 'cage' him. My mum is so similar in a lot of respects, although only 'turns' on me infrequently. Thankfully.

I do think you need some help as you are suffering yourself. I hope you can sort something. Meantime, just to let you know there's another virtual shoulder to cry on, when you need it.

 

[Lila13]

Yet only a few years ago it would have been a common diagnosis, wouldn't it? Lots of people would have used that expression.

Lila

`Senile Dementia` is a term I have never used. I am shocked. Where did that come from?

 

[Grannie G]

No Jennifer, he wasn`t being sarcastic, he was speaking in earnest, trying to excuse his behaviour, and it wasn`t directed at me.
I believe this expression might be something else from his past.
He is fine now.
I wonder if these episodes are the representation of Tangles or Amyloid Plaque Deposits.
Does anyone know?

 

[Skye]

Lila's right, that's how it would have been described in the past, so it could be that no-one has spoken about it, the expression has come from his own mind.

Interesting question from Jennifer, too. You can't tell if he was referring to himself, or being nasty to you.

Doesn't make it any easier to deal with, though, either way.

Glad the station staff appear to be on to him, that will certainly help. Now you've just got to convince him that the 'devil he knows' is the best he's likely to find!

Love,

 

[jenniferpa]

I agre with Lila: it wan't too many years ago that "senile dementia" would have been the appropriate term. Perhaps it's just a "slip back in time" sort of thing? Or searching for the most appropriate word and that's all he came up with?

Love

Jennifer

 

[Margarita]

I wonder if these episodes are the representation of Tangles or Amyloid Plaque Deposits.

Now that is a Good question , and seeing that Dhiren is not on any medication for AZ .

As AZ is due to disturbance of message signals in the brain receptors that are involved in transmitting neve signals important in learning and memory , then if you take medication like Exbia that has something called NMDA -receptor antagonists it acts on there NMDA - receptors improving the transmission of nerve signals and the memory , so with my mother its happening slowly those Amyloid Plaque Deposits coursing degradation, because she taking Exbiza

So seeing Dhiren is on no medication for AZ those Amyloid Plaque must be happening faster and coursing the degradation, that is giving Dhiren those systems , that your seeing , what his saying. Has what seem like enlightenment one day not the next and so on . just my thoughts on it

 

[Margarita]

senile Just mean Old age ( if you look up how the name senile came about, real meaning ) in Dhiren younger years it was refereed to that as in those day dementia was seem as an old age illness .

So maybe in his younger years before he new you he may have had family , that referred to it as senile

where now days we no the different , because younger people can get dementia

 

[Brucie]

Hi Sylvia

I looked back in my notes just to get a sense of how things were seven years ago, when Jan was still at home - this was a year before she left home for good - I managed to hold things together that long.

At that stage the notes were just that, one-liners. Later, as the reality of the effect of her condition dawned on me [yes, it took me 10 years to finally take that on board], I began to keep a diary and more detail that I maintain to this day.

This is April 2000, pretty much day by day:

by the way, a paddy is a minor contretemps, an explosion is major.

April 1 sorting things
5 depressed ‘so soon…’; confused
6 sundowning
8 paddy while dressing; explosion re bed
9 major explosion about [contact] lenses
10 Jan in drive in dressing gown
11 wanting to leave
12 major explosion; walked off down lane
13 explosions
14 slow and numb back of her head
16 confused and angry in car
17 no to day centre; sundowning
18 bed at 0215
22 near faint; weepy because of clothes; edgy; sundowning
23 depressed about going to the loo and wanting to move house - ‘chain around neck’; spilt tea on chair, accidentally
24 sundowning; threats of knives and going nude in drive
25 sundowning

On 24th I e-mailed the doctor:

Would it be possible to bypass the normal 72 hour prescription time? [consultant] asked me to get a renewal of a prescription he wrote out last week, but which is almost gone now.
It is for Promazine Syrup, 25 mg./5 mg. His original prescription was for 140 ml, but that appears to last only a week, so a larger quantity would be sensible.
This is to try and curb Jan’s increasing walkouts – we had a very bad weekend. I have managed to persuade her to go for assessment and I hope she may be able to be admitted tomorrow.

The assessment concerned was the first of an eventual three within 12 months.

I read my own notes and weep... she was so desperate.

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Bruce,

I could weep with you.

Dhiren went out 5 times yesterday and was so exhausted, the last time, he went no further than the gate. But the intention was there.

He changed his mind about wanting or not wanting to live here, virtually every 2 hours.

I can see the changes in his face. When he is trying to escape, his eyes are glazed as if he looks but doesn`t see. When he is OK, his eyes register what he sees.

Today? So far so good.

 

[Brucie]

... this was one year later, April 2001, a month before I lost her to the home:

1 scared about going to Safeway; went glazed in afternoon; insecure
2 “don’t know where I am, Bruce”; very clingy all day; 24 hours since last wee
3 clingy
4 clingy
5 list to right
6 piggy eyes; clingy
8 “I could spit at you”; no breakfast; anti about dressing
9 anti about dressing; clingy
10 up and down; standing behind me as if to strangle me—made joke of it; then—“you’re very good”; 24 hours/wee
11spatial awareness much worse
12 “you’re horrible”; flipping Bruce across face; wandering the lounge all day
13 wandering in lounge; ‘cold’
14 listing left; “can’t do anything—I could cry”; piggy eyes; confused; tired
15 listing left; very anti about dressing; balance; trouble taking—seeing—pills
16 deterioration; spatial coordination; having to feed her; difficulty getting Jan on loo; speech garbled; couldn’t/wouldn’t sit
17 difficulty on stairs; real difficulty dressing and sitting; sight problems?
18 Tussle getting Jan on loo—she is worried about wetting things. Bruce—“that’s what the loo is for” Jan—“no it isn’t—perhaps it is”; would go as if to attack me, then smile and say “it’s over now”, as if she can control it; also went to hit Bruce with a large sea shell and throw a bowl, but again smiled after
19 unsettled, walking round; fight to get her on loo each time now
20 clingy; difficulty walking and seeing; tired
21 clingy; trouble getting her on loo
22 glazed, wistful look; knows something wrong
23 listing right
24 listing right; very unsure about her feet; tired
25 listing right; fell against door; unsteady on feet
26 listing right; falling over; poor speech
27 listing right; lunch—“I’ll get fat”; fell out of bed in night – ambulance; lip badly cut;
28 unsteady
29 wandering, bumping into things
30 spatial awareness; 6 st 12oz

 

[Grannie G]

Update

My daughter-in-law took me for a coffee and took me to the Railway Station.

I showed the ticket officer Dhiren`s photo, he looked at me and said `Oh what problems we`ve had with him.`

Explanations followed, the last ticket had been paid for with cash, so he`d been to the bank again, and as soon as he was given a refund for one ticket, wanted to buy another, immediately.

The ticket officer`s mother had had Alzheimers. I was reassured Dhiren would be sold no more tickets and the office would keep his photo and the covering letter I had written.

The officer said he hadn`t been very nice to Dhiren, in order to get the message home and encourage someone to come to the station with an explanation. In future, although they will refuse to sell him tickets, they will be kind to him.

Thank you everyone.

Love xx

 

[jenniferpa]

Good news Sylvia. It may not make him any happier, and to be honest I doubt it will stop him trying to buy a ticket, but at least there's another barrier in his way. You never know, as well: maybe being refused a ticket will stay with him. It's surprising sometimes the things that do get remembered.