A life in the day of.........................
- Thread starter Grannie G
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I have just taken a phone call from C.
She is visiting tomorrow afternoon and she and `I` will visit on Monday afternoon. She has suggested she talks to Dhiren and asked if I could take `I` out into the kitchen on some pretext as he would like to talk to me.
She is visiting tomorrow afternoon and she and `I` will visit on Monday afternoon. She has suggested she talks to Dhiren and asked if I could take `I` out into the kitchen on some pretext as he would like to talk to me.
Sylvia, that sounds so positive!
Isn't it amazing how good you feel when that happens? When they realise that in spite of all their training, when it comes to caring for Dhiren, you are the one who knows best, and know where the stress-points are!
I hope tomorrow's meeting is as positive.
Love,
Isn't it amazing how good you feel when that happens? When they realise that in spite of all their training, when it comes to caring for Dhiren, you are the one who knows best, and know where the stress-points are!
I hope tomorrow's meeting is as positive.
Love,
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Dear Sylvia,
You really have some excellent support there. They are certainly thinking longer-term, which is so hard to do when you're in the thick of things. I've never thought of day care that way but it makes perfect sense.
You must be feeling so relieved and eased in your mind. I bet making decisions will become easier too.
Love,
You really have some excellent support there. They are certainly thinking longer-term, which is so hard to do when you're in the thick of things. I've never thought of day care that way but it makes perfect sense.
You must be feeling so relieved and eased in your mind. I bet making decisions will become easier too.
Love,
Hello Sylvia,
I'm delighted for you both that the "team" are listening to you..and acting upon what you say.
It makes a refreshing change to hear about your experience.
I do hope things move forward for you from this point...will keep everything crossed.
Love gigi xx
I'm delighted for you both that the "team" are listening to you..and acting upon what you say.
It makes a refreshing change to hear about your experience.
I do hope things move forward for you from this point...will keep everything crossed.
Love gigi xx
Dear Sylvia
I am truly delighted for you. You must feel like a heavy weight is being shared and that you can slowly, but surely, keep moving into the 'tomorrow'. I am so glad that you got the opportunity to be able to really talk - I bet they see the treasure in you that we all do
Love
I am truly delighted for you. You must feel like a heavy weight is being shared and that you can slowly, but surely, keep moving into the 'tomorrow'. I am so glad that you got the opportunity to be able to really talk - I bet they see the treasure in you that we all do
Love
That certainly makes sense. The more Dhiren gets used to and trusts 'strangers' to care for him, the more likely he would adapt to respite care.
Respite care has been offered to my Mum as being available anytime, but it still feels like a huge step, and one we're not ready to take just yet.
It certainly sounds like you and the professionals are all pulling in the same direction.
Sylvia, you certainly see to have a really good support team around you.
Weigh up what is on offer - and do what you feel is right for Dhiren and yourself. The proffessionals are there to help and advise. Thinking of you both.
Weigh up what is on offer - and do what you feel is right for Dhiren and yourself. The proffessionals are there to help and advise. Thinking of you both.
Thank you
Dear Sue,
I`m with you and your mother on this. There`s no way I feel ready to commit to respite care yet. But my attitude to day care has certainly changed after today.
Knowing what the future has in store for us, whenever it happens, I do feel it makes sense to prepare.
Dear Lynne,
Thank you for the tearful duck. I hope you will have some news to post soon.
Dear Connie,
I`ll be interested to hear what `I` wants to talk about to me on Monday.
I have told them all I respect them as professionals. That I have only had experience of one, while they have had experience with many.
But I did emphasise how upset I feel for Dhiren and how I couldn`t possibly knowingly increase his suffering.
Dear Sue,
I`m with you and your mother on this. There`s no way I feel ready to commit to respite care yet. But my attitude to day care has certainly changed after today.
Knowing what the future has in store for us, whenever it happens, I do feel it makes sense to prepare.
Dear Lynne,
Thank you for the tearful duck.
I hope you will have some news to post soon.Dear Connie,
I`ll be interested to hear what `I` wants to talk about to me on Monday.
I have told them all I respect them as professionals. That I have only had experience of one, while they have had experience with many.
But I did emphasise how upset I feel for Dhiren and how I couldn`t possibly knowingly increase his suffering.
Hello Sue
I somehow managed to miss this post, sorry.
Pre AD Dhiren was the most morning person you could meet. Whilst I was groggy, bleary eyed and silent, he was a ray of sunshine. It`s only now he is tired and slow in the morning.
I hope your father finds the afternoon sessions better.
Love xx
I somehow managed to miss this post, sorry.
Pre AD Dhiren was the most morning person you could meet. Whilst I was groggy, bleary eyed and silent, he was a ray of sunshine. It`s only now he is tired and slow in the morning.
I hope your father finds the afternoon sessions better.
Love xx
Folk Week
Folk Week began last Friday but the weather has been awful and yesterday was only the second day we managed to get down.
In spite of the rain, the atmosphere was wonderful and we sat at the Bandstand and later mingled with the crowd and wandered round the Marquee.
Dhiren had taken his wallet but left his keys at home.
When we returned home, having been out little more than an hour, he was once again very tired.
But he insisted on making a cup of tea.
And then..............
D `I can`t find my wallet anywhere.`
S `Sit down and drink your tea. I will find it for you.`
D `How can you find it?`
S `I know you took it out with you.`
D `I did not take it with me. I left it at home.`
S `YOu did take it. I know you did.`
D screaming and manic `You are making me mad.I know I didn`t take it. This place is killing me. I`m going tomorrow.`
S `Here is your wallet. It was in your bedside cupboard.`
D still manic, eyes glazed, `I didn`t put it there. You hid it. You are doing it on purpose. I`m getting out of here.`
S `The sooner the better.`
And I walked away.
Half an hour later he came to me.
D `I am extremely sorry. I am so sorry . I can`t tell you how sorry I am. I have no right to behave like that. I`m so sorry.`
S `It`s all right. I know you can`t help it. It`s not your fault.`
D `I don`t know what happens to me.`
S `You lose control. Forget it now. I`ll make dinner.`
D `I don`t want to eat. I am so disgusted with my behaviour, I have no appetite.`
and he was subdued all evening and took himself off to bed at 9pm. without saying a word.
Folk Week began last Friday but the weather has been awful and yesterday was only the second day we managed to get down.
In spite of the rain, the atmosphere was wonderful and we sat at the Bandstand and later mingled with the crowd and wandered round the Marquee.
Dhiren had taken his wallet but left his keys at home.
When we returned home, having been out little more than an hour, he was once again very tired.
But he insisted on making a cup of tea.
And then..............
D `I can`t find my wallet anywhere.`
S `Sit down and drink your tea. I will find it for you.`
D `How can you find it?`
S `I know you took it out with you.`
D `I did not take it with me. I left it at home.`
S `YOu did take it. I know you did.`
D screaming and manic `You are making me mad.I know I didn`t take it. This place is killing me. I`m going tomorrow.`
S `Here is your wallet. It was in your bedside cupboard.`
D still manic, eyes glazed, `I didn`t put it there. You hid it. You are doing it on purpose. I`m getting out of here.`
S `The sooner the better.`
And I walked away.
Half an hour later he came to me.
D `I am extremely sorry. I am so sorry . I can`t tell you how sorry I am. I have no right to behave like that. I`m so sorry.`
S `It`s all right. I know you can`t help it. It`s not your fault.`
D `I don`t know what happens to me.`
S `You lose control. Forget it now. I`ll make dinner.`
D `I don`t want to eat. I am so disgusted with my behaviour, I have no appetite.`
and he was subdued all evening and took himself off to bed at 9pm. without saying a word.
Morning Sylvia
First of all Folk week sounds wonderful and I could just do with mingling with the crowd, in the sunshine mind.
I don't remember you mentioning Dhiren's behaviour being manic before - I imagine it could have been scary wondering whether it was going to escalate?
As for Dhiren, it must be terrible for him to still have the ability to recognise how he is behaving. It's probably good that he can still recognise his behaviour because it might be this recognition that means he hasn't permanently lost sight of reality. It must be terrible if he knows he cannot do anything about the decline in his behaviour because he's ill.
I am so sorry Sylvia and just hope that today is one of those days that brings along one, or some, of those little rays of sunshine
Love
First of all Folk week sounds wonderful and I could just do with mingling with the crowd, in the sunshine mind.
I don't remember you mentioning Dhiren's behaviour being manic before - I imagine it could have been scary wondering whether it was going to escalate?
As for Dhiren, it must be terrible for him to still have the ability to recognise how he is behaving. It's probably good that he can still recognise his behaviour because it might be this recognition that means he hasn't permanently lost sight of reality. It must be terrible if he knows he cannot do anything about the decline in his behaviour because he's ill.
I am so sorry Sylvia and just hope that today is one of those days that brings along one, or some, of those little rays of sunshine
Love
Thank you Helen
Dhiren gets a glazed look when he is very angry and out of control. That`s what I mean by manic. He also looks and behaves as if he is about to burst. It is scary.
He woke this morning seemingly fine, had a shave, went back to bed, and is still asleep. It will all be forgotten.
Hope Alan is still all right.
Love xx
Dhiren gets a glazed look when he is very angry and out of control. That`s what I mean by manic. He also looks and behaves as if he is about to burst. It is scary.
He woke this morning seemingly fine, had a shave, went back to bed, and is still asleep. It will all be forgotten.
Hope Alan is still all right.
Love xx
Hi Sylvia
Yes Alan is still o.k. but it was a bit challenging last night as when I went into him he had taken his eye shield off and I was then left wondering whether he's rubbed his eye I ended up a bit manic myself by the end of the day but, like you, I don't have the ability to forget!
Hope you make the most of it whilst Dhiren is asleep.
I notice that you were up partying last night.
Love
Yes Alan is still o.k. but it was a bit challenging last night as when I went into him he had taken his eye shield off and I was then left wondering whether he's rubbed his eye
I ended up a bit manic myself by the end of the day but, like you, I don't have the ability to forget! Hope you make the most of it whilst Dhiren is asleep.
I notice that you were up partying last night.
Love
The after care following cataract surgery is the worry, especially with those who cannot remember an instruction. I don`t envy you.
I was partying with the best last night Helen. It`s the only type of party I can manage, especially with a sad and unhappy husband.
He is still asleep. The CPN is due at 10 and I have no intention of waking Dhiren. I need the CPN to see it as it is.
Love xx
I was partying with the best last night Helen. It`s the only type of party I can manage, especially with a sad and unhappy husband.
He is still asleep. The CPN is due at 10 and I have no intention of waking Dhiren. I need the CPN to see it as it is.
Love xx
Dhiren woke at 9.40am. The first things he said were,
`Have I got to go anywhere today?
Have I got any appointments?
Have I got to see a doctor?
Have I got to go to the hospital?`
and when I answered `No` to everything he said,
`What a relief. I don`t want to go anywhere.`
Then my printer went as I was printing out some notes for the CPN.
The CPN came, he mended my printer, and we had a good chat about Dhiren while he was doing it.
He agreed Dhiren was quite distant today. And I think he understands I don`t want to put him under so much pressure.
He is coming again in two weeks.
`Have I got to go anywhere today?
Have I got any appointments?
Have I got to see a doctor?
Have I got to go to the hospital?`
and when I answered `No` to everything he said,
`What a relief. I don`t want to go anywhere.`
Then my printer went as I was printing out some notes for the CPN.
The CPN came, he mended my printer,
and we had a good chat about Dhiren while he was doing it. He agreed Dhiren was quite distant today. And I think he understands I don`t want to put him under so much pressure.
He is coming again in two weeks.
Good heavens, Sylvia, where did you find that CPN? Understanding, sympathetic, and with computer skills?
Is he married?
Is he married?
Hi Sylvia
It seems like Dhiren was still aware in some way that there might be consequences to his behaviour yesterday but he couldn't connect it all together. I wonder whether it's like a jigsaw puzzle to Dhiren. Some of the pieces he knows very well from the past and the present and he can verbalise them very well. Maybe Dhiren sees them as 'separates' and cannot connect the pieces together but is somewhere aware in himself when there has been conflict and the last time it meant things drastically changed.
I hope that just being settled at home and nothing major happening is proving comforting to him and at the same time you're still moving forward in that you had someone in the house and Dhiren is getting used to it.
Big bonus about the printer - like Hazel said "can you share him around"?
Love
It seems like Dhiren was still aware in some way that there might be consequences to his behaviour yesterday but he couldn't connect it all together. I wonder whether it's like a jigsaw puzzle to Dhiren. Some of the pieces he knows very well from the past and the present and he can verbalise them very well. Maybe Dhiren sees them as 'separates' and cannot connect the pieces together but is somewhere aware in himself when there has been conflict and the last time it meant things drastically changed.
I hope that just being settled at home and nothing major happening is proving comforting to him and at the same time you're still moving forward in that you had someone in the house and Dhiren is getting used to it.
Big bonus about the printer - like Hazel said "can you share him around"?
Love
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