I'm going to nip up today, timing the visit for about 3.30. Supper is served at about 5pm, so I'm hoping to make a clean getaway then.
I'm very sorry for everyone who's at a loss to know how to manage a move to residential care for your relatives. We were in exactly the same position; under no circumstances would my mum have complied, even with the idea of a day centre or a respite break for dad, who no longer had the heart for the fight, tbh. So I used the disruption to routine of the hospital stay to force the change, simply by saying to the SW that care for my mum could no longer be provided at home. I might be wrong, but I think as soon as that's your position, then it becomes a social services problem. Given that Mum had a formal diagnosis of dementia, and my dad's age and his own health issues, nobody batted an eyelid.
Pep talk from my daughter last night. 'Mum, we're responsible for making sure that Nana's safe and properly cared for. But we can't be responsible for making sure she's happy.' There's a wise head on young shoulders.