Hi folks, I've struggled this last few months with my dad and his decline with this 'living death'. I cried when I first found this site about a month or so ago, to not only find support but also to actually see the stages he's gone through in black and white as I don't know when his dementia started due to not seeing him for 48 years but caught up with him nealy 6 years ago when I became his carer. He's now in the final stages of decline (along with other health issues) and each time I visit him (I try to make the 60 mile journey twice a week)he has gone downhill even more, and I have seen more of a rapid decline this last week than ever before.
This morning I felt the need to visit church and seek extra strength and guidance before I went to visit him. I'm glad I did as I was shocked to see him. I left after a very short visit due to being too upset due to his eyes now being sticky and swollen, his strength is failing now so much that he can't even suck through a straw. He gave up walking a few months ago. He now becomes very confused at the table and is fed by the staff at the nursing home and I was informed to day that he has lost even more weight and they have ordered an air mattress for his bed due to him laying in later and later. I've assured him that it's ok to stay in bed if that's what he wants to do and I've asked the staff not to force feed him or make him get up.
I've been expecting this now for some time and didn't expect him to live through last christmas, let alone still be here now. I gave a new directive to the nursing home and the funeral people before I went on holiday and expected a phone call each day to say that he had 'gone' and was quietly surprised to find he was till here upon my return.
He will be 87 in two weeks time - if he lasts - but I have been praying everyday for months that he is taken up and given peace. Although i've been expecting this change in him, it's still extremely upsetting every time I see him and I know from reading other people's messages on here that things can take sharp turns downhill. After I left the home today I drove to see an elderly friend with tears in my eyes and could hardly see to drive but it was a relief to 'let it go' before I attempted to drive home.
thanks for listening and for being there.
rgards
This morning I felt the need to visit church and seek extra strength and guidance before I went to visit him. I'm glad I did as I was shocked to see him. I left after a very short visit due to being too upset due to his eyes now being sticky and swollen, his strength is failing now so much that he can't even suck through a straw. He gave up walking a few months ago. He now becomes very confused at the table and is fed by the staff at the nursing home and I was informed to day that he has lost even more weight and they have ordered an air mattress for his bed due to him laying in later and later. I've assured him that it's ok to stay in bed if that's what he wants to do and I've asked the staff not to force feed him or make him get up.
I've been expecting this now for some time and didn't expect him to live through last christmas, let alone still be here now. I gave a new directive to the nursing home and the funeral people before I went on holiday and expected a phone call each day to say that he had 'gone' and was quietly surprised to find he was till here upon my return.
He will be 87 in two weeks time - if he lasts - but I have been praying everyday for months that he is taken up and given peace. Although i've been expecting this change in him, it's still extremely upsetting every time I see him and I know from reading other people's messages on here that things can take sharp turns downhill. After I left the home today I drove to see an elderly friend with tears in my eyes and could hardly see to drive but it was a relief to 'let it go' before I attempted to drive home.
thanks for listening and for being there.
rgards
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