Hello
I haven't posted for quite a while since my Dad passed away in August. This site was so so helpful to me at a tough time.
I know there is no answer to my current problem I am probably just wanting to sound off. My elderly mum who whilst elderly is very mentally alert and physically able is very very difficult to deal with. I am their only child (my mum has one other child from a previous marriage). When my Dad passed away my husband helped me deal with so much and researched how we best handle his estate etc. We found that as it was a simple estate the easiest way was to apply for grant of probate online. He had the house in his name only and funds in two separate bank accounts. We filled in the iHT calculator online too which you have to do before the probate application. The probate application only allowed one name on the application which as I have a computer and email address (my mum doesn't) I put it down as my name but it clearly stated that the 2 executors were myself and my mum as requested in my Dads Will. At the time my mum was happy for me to sort all of this out. She would not have had a clue where to start and could have ended up with a solicitor charging who knows what - probably way more than the £215 it cost to do it ourselves. Anyway now Grant of Probate has come through it shows my name clearly on it and then a separate line it reads "power reserved to one other". She's in a right state about this as her name is not mentioned and try as a I might she just does not understand that this does not actually matter. When we take this to the bank they will pay the proceeds of his accounts to whatever bank account we ask them to. She's being so difficult at what is already a difficult time. Its almost like she doesn't trust me which is so hurtful. She is looking for an argument and I am trying so hard to bite my tongue. She keeps arguing that she should have done probate direct with the banks but I think that would have cost her more plus we had to get it for the house anyway.
I guess i am really looking for advice on how to handle a very argumentative mother who never admits someone else is right. Or how I can prove to her that the way we have done it really is the best and only way. I know I should allow for the fact she is grieving to perhaps make her act a bit odd but I am grieving too. She has not once said thank you to me for all the work I have done getting all the funeral, bills and probate organised.
Just feel like we should be supporting each other but she seems to think i am against her in some way. If it were my Dad here still and my Mum that has passed my Dad would be saying thank you to me and we would be in it together. Really miss him!
Thanks for reading xx
I haven't posted for quite a while since my Dad passed away in August. This site was so so helpful to me at a tough time.
I know there is no answer to my current problem I am probably just wanting to sound off. My elderly mum who whilst elderly is very mentally alert and physically able is very very difficult to deal with. I am their only child (my mum has one other child from a previous marriage). When my Dad passed away my husband helped me deal with so much and researched how we best handle his estate etc. We found that as it was a simple estate the easiest way was to apply for grant of probate online. He had the house in his name only and funds in two separate bank accounts. We filled in the iHT calculator online too which you have to do before the probate application. The probate application only allowed one name on the application which as I have a computer and email address (my mum doesn't) I put it down as my name but it clearly stated that the 2 executors were myself and my mum as requested in my Dads Will. At the time my mum was happy for me to sort all of this out. She would not have had a clue where to start and could have ended up with a solicitor charging who knows what - probably way more than the £215 it cost to do it ourselves. Anyway now Grant of Probate has come through it shows my name clearly on it and then a separate line it reads "power reserved to one other". She's in a right state about this as her name is not mentioned and try as a I might she just does not understand that this does not actually matter. When we take this to the bank they will pay the proceeds of his accounts to whatever bank account we ask them to. She's being so difficult at what is already a difficult time. Its almost like she doesn't trust me which is so hurtful. She is looking for an argument and I am trying so hard to bite my tongue. She keeps arguing that she should have done probate direct with the banks but I think that would have cost her more plus we had to get it for the house anyway.
I guess i am really looking for advice on how to handle a very argumentative mother who never admits someone else is right. Or how I can prove to her that the way we have done it really is the best and only way. I know I should allow for the fact she is grieving to perhaps make her act a bit odd but I am grieving too. She has not once said thank you to me for all the work I have done getting all the funeral, bills and probate organised.
Just feel like we should be supporting each other but she seems to think i am against her in some way. If it were my Dad here still and my Mum that has passed my Dad would be saying thank you to me and we would be in it together. Really miss him!
Thanks for reading xx