It has taken me two days to write this. I completed it and wasn't signed in so I am going to redo it. Maybe getting it out twice will relief some of this stress.
I am so alone. Even TP can't help with this. Problems with my PWD OH, his family, and even my boys have been mirrored on the site which brings me great comfort, knowing I'm not alone. But this past week has left me without any allies. I feel just alone.
I find that there are those on TP who have loved ones who are holding on to smiles and loving words. That is not me. There are those with inconsiderate, irritable, and totally ungrateful PWD. That is me. And there are those who are miserable with this PWDs. Stuck. Miserable. Exhausted. That is not me. Mine is in a CH which has relieved me of those adjectives. But I am being rejected and left out of my PWD care and decisions now that he is in a CH. I feel alone in this.
On my way to Florida, actually driving in the car, picking up my friend and having the phone on speaker I called OH. I had 2 issues to resolve. First one was OH wanted to add a cable box to his TV in CH. As I checked his email that morning I noticed the cable company was planning on doing service at our house, not the CH. Speaking to 4 different cable reps it became evident that I needed to cancel the appointment and reschedule later. I also remembered the cable delivery that arrived at the CH last week had his daughter's name on it. Yep, the invisible Other One (OO). Well, maybe SHE had a part in this and she is the one who needs to get this straight.
I called OH to let him know the cable man was NOT coming that day since it had to be cancelled. Well, invisible one was there so she took the phone. No, she doesn't know how her name got on the box, she only ordered a phone. So yes, YOU (me) work on that. So I asked her if she could sit with her dad and get him to call the state retirement office to get his pension released. They have suddenly refused to talk to me although I have had 2 meetings with them. (Son #2 says "someone must have called them.") She agreed to make the call.
On my return Monday I asked OH if OO had called the retirement office. Yes. No. (Yep, both answers).
Did she order cable? Yes she did that. Duh, I am trying to learn not to listen to his comments. So I text her the questions: Did you call retirement? OH says no. Did you call cable? OH says yes. Did you order newspaper? If yes, how is this being paid for? Direct withdrawal or do I need to send a check? Just trying to keep up. Thanks.
NO ANSWER. no answer. NO ANSWER. So, I'm going to just do things myself.
Tuesday I turned in a form for retirement pension which I had OH sign. Wednesday I tell him on the phone I haven't checked with cable because I'm waiting on replay from OO. He said, "oh she will never answer you? (tone was ninny, ninny, she will not answer you). I said why wouldn't she answer me. Then he said there were too many questions. (yep, dementia still there) Then he said she's busy. I said we are all busy. We hung up and he accidentally called me ( I knew he was calling her) and sure enough in 1 minutes I received a text from her "yes to all your questions."
What have I ever done to you????????!!!!!!! How dare her!!!! And none of the things we discussed were done as discussed!!!
Thursday, That One is in town. OH is still complaining that the new/used phone I bought him isn't working. (I'm suspecting user error.) The 30 day warranty will be up in a few days so I text her to take OH to get his phone fixed or exchanged. He doesn't like to be without it. She replies that they might not have time. WHAT? So I "Find My Friends" and I see that they are at the eye doctor. The eye doctor appointment that was Aug 28 has somehow become Aug 23 and no one told me. And therefore no one used the vision insurance card that I have paid for through my work.
Whew, what a gripe, gripe, gripe I have had. But as our commercials say: WAIT, THERE IS MORE. And that's what put me under.
Friday, I get our mail and OH has something from his stock account. I open it in case something needs to be done or maybe it's a check. N O P E. It is a notice that there has been a request for a change of address. Yep, OH's stock (and of course all other correspondence from anywhere he has money I'm sure) has a new address. It has been moved from our home to the Other One. I will no longer be receiving his mail.
Son #2 has advised me to call the broker tomorrow and find out if there is a new POA and if not, change the address back to our house. If there's a new POA......well, there is a strong possiblity that there will be a divorce.
