So good to hear from you, so good. Love, you had reach end point with caring, as I did. You know all this. I think that guilt/remorse is part of the human condition and we are placed in situations where we have an excess of it. You are so right. Nothing on this earth can prepare us for the anguish of living and caring with this awful illness. Nothing. I am so sorry for the loss of your mum and the way you feel still. With you in spirit, sweetheart, you know that. with love Geraldine aka kindredxxx
Please don't throw me away, breaking my promise
- Thread starter kindred
- Start date
Oh my goodness how we miss the world cup. I had not realised how much the background of this on the telly, banter between carers and residents, plus mock football games had raised the energy. It really did. How interesting!!
Keith again lively and full of energy, like yesterday. Extraordinary! Said Lords Prayer with one resident and got some more requests. Think I could offer 1:1 nursery rhymes with the others or something. Or perhaps What is this life if full of care ...
AND THEN (sorry, got stuck in italics), Keith started to tell me how to bake bread although he has never done such a thing in his life. Good fun! And he told me it goes in the fridge (aka oven) while he counts to 20 which he then proceeded to do, accurately.
Another resident (new) is turning into a wanderer and this requires 1:1. I am so impressed with the cheerful way the nurses get on with this ....
Spend a lot of time, me and Keith, just looking at each other. Have not spent so long just looking at each other's faces since we were students together.
God, life is a strange business. Thank you all, so appreciate you reading this. Love to hear from you.
with love, Kindred, Geraldinexxx
Keith again lively and full of energy, like yesterday. Extraordinary! Said Lords Prayer with one resident and got some more requests. Think I could offer 1:1 nursery rhymes with the others or something. Or perhaps What is this life if full of care ...
AND THEN (sorry, got stuck in italics), Keith started to tell me how to bake bread although he has never done such a thing in his life. Good fun! And he told me it goes in the fridge (aka oven) while he counts to 20 which he then proceeded to do, accurately.
Another resident (new) is turning into a wanderer and this requires 1:1. I am so impressed with the cheerful way the nurses get on with this ....
Spend a lot of time, me and Keith, just looking at each other. Have not spent so long just looking at each other's faces since we were students together.
God, life is a strange business. Thank you all, so appreciate you reading this. Love to hear from you.
with love, Kindred, Geraldinexxx
Sorry - just home from 4 hrs at CH & feel exhausted. PM - which I think has been changed to Conversation - means personal message that only sender & recipient can see. If it's OK to do that, I'll message you later as I feel a bit ropey and will have an hour on the bed I think. If you'd rather I didn't PM you, no problem. Love Jan xxx
Oh darling, I would love love love you to do that. Love, you must be so so bushed. Yes, please rest. More anon. You are such good woman, so beloved here. all my love, Geraldinexxxx
Thank you Jezzer and kindred for your comforting replies. Like you say kindred we are with each other in spirit and can only be thankful for the wonderful support we all get from TP. I will try and come to terms with knowing that mum is in a better place and free from dementia and hopefully her and dad are enjoying a better and happier dementia free life together. Hopefully the day will come when I can bang that guilt monster on the head forever and enjoy the wonderful memories I have of mum when she was well. So sorry Jezzer that you have had an exhausting visit today, take time to rest, tomorrow is another day. Again thank you my dear virtual friends for all your kind thoughts and support. Keep posting. Xxx
Isn't is strange now the World Cup is over? Wimbledon too. I'm sure the residents must miss it too.
So so pleased you had a good visit. I would have loved to hear Keith's instructions about baking bread - great stuff! You are so good with the residents - I bet they love having you there. I love that you and Keith gaze lovingly at each other. You've been together such a long time - dementia cruelly targeted Keith and a dreadful time followed but here you both are and your love endures. It is amazing and wonderful to read. With so much Love and Hugs, Jan xxx
oh thank you my darling. Thank you. More anon. Let us hope for reasonable day. all love, Gxxx
Flippin heck. So, long morning at work pretty harassing overall and when get to Keith's home, I am thoroughly fixated on:
1. seeing Keith
2. Getting a CUP OF TEA.
Normally both accomplished within minutes. The first was, saw K, kissed him, feel I am a bit like the prince in the sleeping beauty, the dementia being the thorns I have to overcome to get to the beauty, AND THEN, one of the other residents called me over, well if you count OI as being a call and when I got to him he grabbed hold of my arm AND WOULD NOT LET GO. Being as he has been an accomplished sportsman all his life, he is still very very strong. He then got hold of the little finger at the end of the arm AND WOULD NOT LET GO. One of the nurses came over and he grabbed her arm with his free hand, so there's both of us stuck. And she is saying that resistance often makes it worse, so hey, we stop resisting BUT I AM LONGING FOR MY CUP OF TEA. And we talk nicely but
1. I do not want to go to A and E with a broken little finger
2. I need my CUP OF TEA.
So there we are, an interesting little tableau, frozen in time. Getting impatient, I looked him in the eyes and said very firmly If you want a cup of tea and some lemon cake, let us go NOW.
And at the mention of this, meekly, he let us both go ...
Could have turned out differently ....
One of the other visitors said what a lovely man Keith is. And talking of visitors, we have a new resident who was visited by her two sons who have been caring for her for 9 years. They said their carers had been withdrawn, so I asked why and they said because they have gone to a private agency and quit working for the council so the social workers have decided she must come into a home. Lovely lady, we've made friends already, after I had my cup of tea. In all the coming and going, Keith fell asleep ... Thanks, guys./ Are any of you as reliant on your cups of tea as I am??? all love, Geraldinexx
1. seeing Keith
2. Getting a CUP OF TEA.
Normally both accomplished within minutes. The first was, saw K, kissed him, feel I am a bit like the prince in the sleeping beauty, the dementia being the thorns I have to overcome to get to the beauty, AND THEN, one of the other residents called me over, well if you count OI as being a call and when I got to him he grabbed hold of my arm AND WOULD NOT LET GO. Being as he has been an accomplished sportsman all his life, he is still very very strong. He then got hold of the little finger at the end of the arm AND WOULD NOT LET GO. One of the nurses came over and he grabbed her arm with his free hand, so there's both of us stuck. And she is saying that resistance often makes it worse, so hey, we stop resisting BUT I AM LONGING FOR MY CUP OF TEA. And we talk nicely but
1. I do not want to go to A and E with a broken little finger
2. I need my CUP OF TEA.
So there we are, an interesting little tableau, frozen in time. Getting impatient, I looked him in the eyes and said very firmly If you want a cup of tea and some lemon cake, let us go NOW.
And at the mention of this, meekly, he let us both go ...
Could have turned out differently ....
One of the other visitors said what a lovely man Keith is. And talking of visitors, we have a new resident who was visited by her two sons who have been caring for her for 9 years. They said their carers had been withdrawn, so I asked why and they said because they have gone to a private agency and quit working for the council so the social workers have decided she must come into a home. Lovely lady, we've made friends already, after I had my cup of tea. In all the coming and going, Keith fell asleep ... Thanks, guys./ Are any of you as reliant on your cups of tea as I am??? all love, Geraldinexx
Well my friend, you can't say your visits are ever boring, that's for sure! Cups of tea are a must so being made to wait and in the firm grip of The Incredible Hulk was NGT (aka Not a Good Thing). Glad your tactic worked. Nice to hear what was said about Keith. You already know that but still nice to hear. What lovely guys caring for their mum. SS wouldn't pay towards private care so she has to go into care? Im afraid I have little time for SS after what the SW tried to do to my brother and I. Yes there are good SW's out there; we just got a bad 'un. At least their mum is in a really good home and how typical of you to befriend her. Something like that would help ease any anxiety. As we know, it's a huge thing, relocating into care. Sounds a positive visit. Hope you are chillin' with more tea.
Take Care and speak soon.
With Love, Jan
Yes, I know about the Ss thing, didn't make sense to me. Darling one, tell me more about SW experience when (and where) you can. I had dreadful experience of them, with one exception and that was at the hospital. Dreadful and unnecessary and all because they are empty handed, in my opinion. Hope you are feeling OK darling one? More anon. all love and best, Geraldinexxx No, this is true, have never had boring visit, suspect this is because I am
1. mouthy
2. nosey
3. lively
4 don't mind kissing people
Gxxx
Quick visit for an hour this morning as may go again this afternoon! Keith lively and alert and one of the nurses tells me he was FLIRTING WITH HER and saying how lovely she is. Well, she is absolutely beautiful and today she has her hair down. AND THEN the lovely chiropodist came and Keith is first on her list today and I saw and watched her, astonished at her gentle and loving skill because Keith is not an easy one to pedicure. His feet are very long and slim and he has toenails to match, usually. But she talkled him right through it and I gave him a cup of tea as a reward. Oh the wonderful skilled people there are around!
Anyway, today the lovely lady who called me the most boring in the world said I was the kindest lady in the world, there aren't many like me and I am beautiful. Worth coming in for that, then guys!
Her son is taking her to the local pub for fish and chips and I can't wait to hear how that turns out. I wish I had more courage and could take Keith out, but my stock of courage is so low these days. I'm sure you know what I mean guys. More anon. Love Geraldinexxxx
Anyway, today the lovely lady who called me the most boring in the world said I was the kindest lady in the world, there aren't many like me and I am beautiful. Worth coming in for that, then guys!
Her son is taking her to the local pub for fish and chips and I can't wait to hear how that turns out. I wish I had more courage and could take Keith out, but my stock of courage is so low these days. I'm sure you know what I mean guys. More anon. Love Geraldinexxxx
Oh what a lovely boost for you to have a good visit this morning. Do hope you feel more relaxed. Why don’t you have a rest this afternoon as you know Keith is fine and the Carers sound lovely and caring. I felt like you about taking my mum out from the care Home. We did it a few times but it was very stressful for us all so latterly we didn’t try to take her out. I was so envious of those relatives that could take their loved ones out and they would happily return to the home with no stress. Take care and look forward to hearing from you xxx
Oh thank you, so good to hear. I was so interested when you said about relatives that could take their loved ones out and happily return to the home WITH NO STRESS. This has not been my experience of the relatives when they return! I hear an awful lot of I'm never ever going to do that agains ...More anon, sweetheart, thank you so very much. all love, Geraldinexx
So pleased you had a good visit and that you've changed from most boring to kindest lady in the world!
. So Keith is flirting eh? Well, what's a guy to do surrounded by these beautiful ladies?! Great that he was lively and alert. Totally understand about not taking him out. He is in a lovely home with exceptional staff who are clearly fond of him. Gosh, it's hotter than ever today here. Take care G and speak later Much Love xxxxxxThank you so much, sweetheart, and next time I post I will be telling you about yesterday afternoon's MAD WONDERFUL ADVENTURE at K home ... GxxxSo pleased you had a good visit and that you've changed from most boring to kindest lady in the world!
OK, where would you expect to find a beautiful young singer (ex Britain's got Talent) in a black sequinned dress and bare feet, balloons, bunting, a barbeque and a feast, a dozen or so astonishingly beautiful young people dressed in their finest, everyone dancing .. answer - Keith's nursing home annual party for residents and families. What a time!!! The nurses changed into their party clothes, such beautiful young people. I danced with the manager for ages, residents and nurses danced as far as possible or were helped to do the hand jive ... just wonderful. I put Keith in a quiet place as I know he doesn't like loud music, and then kept going back to check he was OK and take him food and drink. The happiness this home generates. Three of the staff have been there for over ten years ...
I mean, is this really happening??? Love and best, Geraldinexxx AND forgot to tell you, I have been given the freedom of the kitchen, I can make my own cup of tea whenever I like!!!
I mean, is this really happening??? Love and best, Geraldinexxx AND forgot to tell you, I have been given the freedom of the kitchen, I can make my own cup of tea whenever I like!!!
Is this really a nursing home??? Wow. The fact that three staff members have been there over ten years says it all really. A young singer, young folks, lots of dancing, lovely food. Just brilliant. Would that all Homes could be like this. It has to be a comfort for families knowing their loved ones are in such good hands. Good to hear this. Whilst there won't be a party today (not an official one anyway!) I hope you have a good visit. Freedom of The Kitchen? Now that is an honour! With Love Jan xx
Thank you so much, just off now. I think we have a young team of carers and nurses who are devoted to us all actually enjoying ourselves and not allowing melancholy. More anon!! I will see if they are all hung over this morning!
love and best, Gxxxxx
