... not quite as scandalous as it seems, but I'm finding it a little inappropriate. My mum was in a CH a long drive from me for a year - nice and no problems apart from the distance. I asked, from the outset, that she be moved, if ever possible, to another CH in the same group nearer me (she's LEA funded). By a miracle, that happened at Easter and she's now in my local town.
All seems pretty much OK in the new place. Mum has deteriorated mentally a great deal in the last year and a half. Now has to be told how to use the toilet, if I take her, and has to have it explained to her what she is supposed to do with a biscuit
The new CH is more touchy-feely than the others. Carers seem to go in for a lot of hugging and kissing of residents. EG they might go up to one who is sitting in the lounge and say 'hi, how are you x' etc etc, and plant a kiss on their cheek. Didn't happen much at the other home, yet here it happens even with male carers to female residents. Quite a lot, actually. Some of the old ladies seem to love it - esp. from the male carers, which I think has perhaps led to this culture. NB they aren't all at it! My mum's keyworker is a lovely young lad who I don't think would dream of doing it.
But there's another male worker there who, when I'm visiting, will make a point of coming over to us and having a word about mum, usually accompanied by ruffling her hair or giving her a kiss Seems very odd that he almost seems to come and do it for my benefit.
I've watched Mum carefully to see how she reacts to this, and until today I didn't register any disapproval from her. But it made me a bit uncomfortable and today, for once, she actually muttered to me "What a cheek!" after he'd ruffled her hair.
So I am going to do something, as this was HER discomfort/embarrassment rather than mine ...
My feeling is to speak to the manager and mention that I've noticed a touchy-feely culture here that there wasn't at the other home and that Mum obviously isn't that comfortable with it. Please can they keep their paws off her, unless she is upset/distressed in which case a pat on the hand is fine. Then see what the reaction is and leave it a while - see if things change. I really don't want to get into an uncomfortable situation *yet* with the one carer in question. And I don't want to put it as a complaint that they would no doubt be obliged to treat as some massive sexual abuse case. It honestly isn't like that.
But it's not right to keep quiet - is it?
All seems pretty much OK in the new place. Mum has deteriorated mentally a great deal in the last year and a half. Now has to be told how to use the toilet, if I take her, and has to have it explained to her what she is supposed to do with a biscuit
The new CH is more touchy-feely than the others. Carers seem to go in for a lot of hugging and kissing of residents. EG they might go up to one who is sitting in the lounge and say 'hi, how are you x' etc etc, and plant a kiss on their cheek. Didn't happen much at the other home, yet here it happens even with male carers to female residents. Quite a lot, actually. Some of the old ladies seem to love it - esp. from the male carers, which I think has perhaps led to this culture. NB they aren't all at it! My mum's keyworker is a lovely young lad who I don't think would dream of doing it.
But there's another male worker there who, when I'm visiting, will make a point of coming over to us and having a word about mum, usually accompanied by ruffling her hair or giving her a kiss Seems very odd that he almost seems to come and do it for my benefit.
I've watched Mum carefully to see how she reacts to this, and until today I didn't register any disapproval from her. But it made me a bit uncomfortable and today, for once, she actually muttered to me "What a cheek!" after he'd ruffled her hair.
So I am going to do something, as this was HER discomfort/embarrassment rather than mine ...
My feeling is to speak to the manager and mention that I've noticed a touchy-feely culture here that there wasn't at the other home and that Mum obviously isn't that comfortable with it. Please can they keep their paws off her, unless she is upset/distressed in which case a pat on the hand is fine. Then see what the reaction is and leave it a while - see if things change. I really don't want to get into an uncomfortable situation *yet* with the one carer in question. And I don't want to put it as a complaint that they would no doubt be obliged to treat as some massive sexual abuse case. It honestly isn't like that.
But it's not right to keep quiet - is it?