Is their anybody on here who is around 20?

[carolineAP]

I'm 23 - was 18 when my mum was diagnosed.

Hi Laura,

I'm 23 - as you may have guessed from our usernames I'm Annie who has already replied on here's sister, so you already know a bit about our situation. Our mum was a similar age to yours when she was diagnosed - I was 18.

As Annie mentioned I have seen a counsellor -I found that really helpful. I think it's really important to be able to talk to people and be honest about how you're feeling. Sometimes I felt angry and felt like I didn't care about my Mum anymore. It took talking to people to realise that a) I wasn't bad for feeling like that and b) that I did still care desperately - I was just trying to shut her out to make it easier. Spend time with your Mum but don't feel bad if you get frustrated. Don't feel bad about asking for help - tell someone you trust at school or uni or work so if you have a bad week or things get tough you've already explained and the support is already there.

Look after each other as a family - laugh when you can. I cherish how strong we have become as a unit through this and that is something we will never lose.

I don't think you're ever ready to lose a parent, but it's so hard when you're still growing up and haven't established your life and there's so much they'll miss. I sometimes am so angry and jealous with people, even friends, who don't seem to appreciate how lucky they are to have their mums still. (especially on day's like Mother's Day). Sometimes it's so hard to have to be responsible all the time.

If there was anything specific you wanted to ask about feel free.

Caroline

 

[mllecfox]

Hi Laura,

My name's Caroline and I'm 23. Three of my grandparents suffer from Alzheimer's. I'm new to the forum but definitely think it would be useful to chat to someone my own age as well as the other members on here about problems and support for one another. I'm sorry to hear about your mum and would be happy to speak to you if you want to get in touch any time.

Take care Laura,
Caroline

 

[LauraKx]

Wow! I cant believe how many people have been intouch. Thank you so much. To everybody that has posted on this thread, & the same goes to everybody, please please message me to if anybody wants somebody to talk to. I definitely agree that you do need some time just to have a little cry. I will be glad when I am able to control my emotions, If I hear any body talk about Alzheimers, if somebody comes on the TV with the disease or anything to do with it I just cry and sulk and sit feeling sorry for myself Lol.

Thank again, My thoughts and Love are with you all xxxx

 

[princess_bear]

Hellooo, I'm Laura and I am 19, Mum was diagnosed with alzhiemers last year at 49, I have had some lovely support over the last few months on joining it has been overwhelming. Every one has been a lot older than me & I was wondering if their is anyone out their a similar age to me to talk to as well? thank you xxx

Dear Laura, I am in my 20s too, and so is my sister. My mum (58) has a rare type of dementia called PCA but same stuff really. Totally here to talk to you if you need. Feel free to drop me a line. Much love xxxxxx

 

[princess_bear]

Hi Caroline, I am also in my 20s and finding this super hard at the moment as my mum seems to be progressing quite fast. Would love to stay in touch.

Nikki x

Hi Laura,

My name's Caroline and I'm 23. Three of my grandparents suffer from Alzheimer's. I'm new to the forum but definitely think it would be useful to chat to someone my own age as well as the other members on here about problems and support for one another. I'm sorry to hear about your mum and would be happy to speak to you if you want to get in touch any time.

Take care Laura,
Caroline

 

[orchid8809]

Not technically a teenager but...

Hi Laura,

I am 23 and since I was 17 my dad has had dementia - he was only 56 when he was diagnosed. I completely know how you feel - at that point I felt really alone and no-one knew anything about how I was feeling because no-one was going through the same thing!

My dads condition has progressed much further, and whilst he is stable now, he has had a stroke which has seriously impaired his abilities to talk and communicate so for me personally I really am unable to see how much of a grasp dementia has over my dad.

I really wish I had come on a site like this much earlier as I know there are some lovely people around and a lot of support if you look for it! Don't bottle everything up like I did (still do). there is a lot of help around! If you want to chat some more let me know!

Aimee

 

[whendoesitend]

Hi all, hope you're doing well.

I'm 27 and we've been carers (me and mum) for grandad since I was 11 (1996). Back then it wasn't too bad as it wasn't overly regular as he was still mobile/mid 60's and drank heavily so spent a lot of time in pubs or asleep.

Post 2003 (my dad died) he gave up more and more to the point of 2005 where we had to seriously step in.

2010 onwards we h ad to step in and do everything for him, take him to all appointments and sit in as he never remembered anything/couldn't walk well etc.

2011 he was diagnosed finally with dementia (took us forever to fight his doctor for a referral) and well here we are now.

He's not a nice man, he is very abusive physically, mentally and emotionally so it hasn't been easy and is getting harder the more the dementia takes hold.


Wish you all well x

 

[SarahMP]

21 at Uni

Hi Everyone,

My Dad was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's last year (he's 51). Im 21 and in my final year of university, really having a hard time dealing with coming to terms with his diagnosis, and how much it has already changed him and my family.

My finals are in a matter of weeks and I would really appreciate any advice anyone could give to help me get around the stress and deal with things, even just for the next few weeks.

Would really like to talk to anyone who's been in a similar situation. I'm also 8 hours away from home, which makes visiting very hard.

Sarah xxx

 

[wjoanne918]

Hi Everyone,

My Dad was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's last year (he's 51). Im 21 and in my final year of university, really having a hard time dealing with coming to terms with his diagnosis, and how much it has already changed him and my family.

My finals are in a matter of weeks and I would really appreciate any advice anyone could give to help me get around the stress and deal with things, even just for the next few weeks.

Would really like to talk to anyone who's been in a similar situation. I'm also 8 hours away from home, which makes visiting very hard.

Sarah xxx

Hi Sarah,
I think the best advice i could give you is to try and concentrate on your finals at the mo because unfortunatley this awful disease will be there long after they have finished and your well on your way to your chosen career. I live 8 doors away from my parents and when my mum was diagnosed 7 years ago (also at 51) i felt i had no escape from it (still dont) and it may sound really heartless but something our support workers have always said to us is that if we dont look after ourselves then we'll have no chance of looking after mum.
I remeber the first year after mam was diagnosed, it felt thats all I saw on tv, radio everywhere was Alzheimer's but as time went on i noticed it a little less and learnt to accept mum had changed but was just gratefull she was still here.
Try and stay positive Sarah and take time for yourself, this site is a godsend at times, you'll always find someone to chat too, someone who knows how you feel.
Jo xx

 

[VJA]

I was when it started!

Hi Laura, my dad was 59 when he started showing quite advanced symptoms of dementia and I was 21. I was (and am) his only relative and next of kin, and consequently have always been very involved. I am 35 now and he has recently had a psychotic break and been moved from a secure old peoples home to a high security psychiatric hospital which has been very unsettling for both of us. I couldn't find anyone my sort of age at the time which I think would have helped me a lot so I hope you find the support you have already received on here helpful - you are definitely not alone! My advice would be to make sure the situation doesn't overwhelm you and make time for yourself as well as for your family. I used to feel too guilty to go on holiday as he had no one else to visit but ended up making myself ill with stress. Take care x

 

[Charlotte101]

I'm 23!

Hi,

I am 23 years old. I have moved my grandmother in with me and my fiancée as her then partner was neglecting her and disappearing, leaving her with neighbours for hours on end. She was in a bad way.

My mum is a full-time carer for her mother-in-law who also has dementia and lives with the family. Therefore Nan came to live with me.

I am so glad to see people of my own age on here, as sometimes it feels I'm on my own being so young and being a carer for someone with dementia.

Nan is in the middle stages of dementia, so can't hold a conversation with her and word-finding is nearly impossible.

I get upset when I talk to my friends about it, as they don't seem to understand. If I try to vent off about things to even my best friend all her response is "it doesn't seem like a permanent solution", She is in her final months of nurse training, so thought she of all people would understand, and she has worked with people with dementia. The only other options is putting Nan in a home, and I am not going to do that unless I really cannot cope any more. I have worked in a couple myself, and the first one was just awful, institutionalised, no stimulation, not using the correct manual handling equipment because it was quicker to yank someone by the arms that going to get a hoist. (I don't want this to influence peoples decision to put their loved one into a Care home, as there probably are some really lovely ones, I've just had a bad experience with this particular one.)

Sorry for the ranting. I don't get much conversation here, so I guess I need to get something out, even if it on the computer.

It would be nice to speak to someone my own age who knows what it is like being a full-time carer for a loved-one.

Charlotte x

 

[Sophie Fisher]

Hello Laura. I'm 27 and my mum has picks frontal lobe. She was diagnosed when I was 16 and isn't able to talk or communicate at all anymore, she has even lost the ability to walk. Me and my dad look after her at home for half the week and the other half she stays in a care home. I don't know anyone else young (ish!) that is in the same situation as us and we have a small family, just us three really as her brothers have turned there back on her because they dont understand the illness - would be nice to talk to someone of a similar age in a similar situation Sophie xx

 

[FiveWords]

Hi Laura,

Not so young maybe, but I'm 30 and care for my dad who has Alzheimer's. I also have a sister who is 27 but she doesn't come on here. It's a nightmare when you are still trying to find your feet in life and you have the rug pulled from under you like this. xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[hopefulasever]

Hellooo, I'm Laura and I am 19, Mum was diagnosed with alzhiemers last year at 49, I have had some lovely support over the last few months on joining it has been overwhelming. Every one has been a lot older than me & I was wondering if their is anyone out their a similar age to me to talk to as well? thank you xxx

Hiya, I'm 20 and my mum was diagnosed last year - let me know if you ever want to talk, best wishes xxx

 

[drowningdespair]

Hey. I'm Jessica, 20 and my Mom was diagnosed at 52 when I was 17. You can talk to me if you want.

 

[jan.s]

Thank you all for your messages I just wanted to say that I'm sorry if I have offended anybody older, because I truly am so thank full for all the support I have got of all ages, and it is not that I don't want to talk to anybody who is older than me, I was just hoping to find somebody of a similar age as well to talk to. I really do know that everybody feels the same way I do when this terrible disease effects a family or friend. I didn't want it to sound selfish and reading it back I could have worded it better. Thank you again for the messages. xx

Hi laura, i'm one of the oldies, and you didn't offend me! I can understand why you would want to chat with people your age, that's fine.

I think each of us has a different perspective of this wretched illness. Me, it's my husband who is now 64, but was diagnosed when he was 58. He is my confidante and soul mate, so i miss him terribly. Your mum is even younger, so i can understand your struggle is very different to my own.

I am here for you though if you ever want to chat by pm.

Jan xx

 

[lucky]

Hi Laura I am 31 mum and my mum is 62 she was diagnosed two years ago but signs appeared a couple of years before this. So sorry to hear your news about your mum. I'm sure if you check in regularly though you will find plenty of support And advice

Lucky x

 

[KTY]

What is going on

Why are so many young people developing dementia??? this is crazy surely there is something wrong... I can't get my head round it, there are far too many young people posting on here about their very young parents, I thought I was the exception at 37 seems not.. Surely the government needs to sit up and notice that this problem is a lot bigger than they thought and seems to be getting worse?

To all you youngsters who are looking after someone with dementia fair play to you all. I'm gonna see what attention I can drum up about this because I just can't sit quietly

 

[Rachael_11]

Hi Laura, and everyone else

I just turned twenty four and my sister is twenty. Our im was diagnosed with frontal temporal dementia last year. I sometimes find it hard to talk about it but please do drop me a message if I could be any help. I live in oxfordshire although my family is up
In Edinburgh. Maybe it helps just a little to know you aren't alone right now. It is such a cruel form of illness but it must be possible to come out stronger I hope

As I say anytime you'd like to chat just drop me a line rach xxx

 

[Bodensee]

Why are so many young people developing dementia??? this is crazy surely there is something wrong... I can't get my head round it, there are far too many young people posting on here about their very young parents, I thought I was the exception at 37 seems not.. Surely the government needs to sit up and notice that this problem is a lot bigger than they thought and seems to be getting worse?

To all you youngsters who are looking after someone with dementia fair play to you all. I'm gonna see what attention I can drum up about this because I just can't sit quietly

Hi,
"there are far too many young people posting on here about their very young parents"

You are so right, I had a look recently and counted at least 63 people under the age of 62 on here with neurological problems and that was only from a few pages. Not so long ago dementia was considered an older persons illness and they were classed as 'senile' but today we are witnessing what appears to be an epidemic of dementia decline in so many young people, what can be causing this? Surely something that we all have in common is causing this to happen
What many young people today may not be aware of is that around 1980 cattle in this country were fed infected feed which led to cows developing 'mad cow disease' (a dementia like fatal disease), this resulted in millions of cows being infected and slaughtered right up until 1996. Our government & the DOH told the british public that this animal disease could not cross the species barrier and they even went as far as showing a minister John Gummer giving his daughter a beefburger to prove it was 100% safe to eat. This was untrue as it was possible for humans to be infected by various routes including vaccines, dairy products, beef, gelatine and so on, in fact so many routes they estimate that upto 58 million of us have been exposed, and today all of these people are banned from donating our blood and organs overseas because we are deemed to have been put at risk of vCJD (human bse). Now you are wondering how does this affect someone with neurological problems under the age of 80 in 2012, one of the first symptons is depression and the person 'will' develop dementia, my friends son died of vCJD he had dementia as well as other symptons, the incubation of this disease in humans is anything upto 50 years, so my worry is that millions of us have been exposed and have no idea that we could or are being mis-diagnosed. The only way to know for sure is to have the new blood test developed at the National Prion Clinic in London by Sir John Collinge. Everyone in this country who is banned from donating their blood overseas and is presenting neurological problems should automatically be given this blood test to 'rule out' vCJD, it makes logical sense to me. if you are one of the 58 million people who were put at risk then your GP/Neurologist should be ruling vCJD out as soon as possible.
It is a serious health concern, and the risks of transmission even today are very real indeed, the NHS produce leaflets advising patients of the risks of transmission through blood, they would not do this if vCJD was not transmissable.
I have p'md you.