Is their anybody on here who is around 20?

LauraKx

Registered User
Dec 16, 2011
32
0
31
Leicestershire
Hellooo, I'm Laura and I am 19, Mum was diagnosed with alzhiemers last year at 49, I have had some lovely support over the last few months on joining it has been overwhelming. Every one has been a lot older than me & I was wondering if their is anyone out their a similar age to me to talk to as well? thank you xxx
 

KTY

Registered User
Feb 28, 2012
33
0
Hampshire
I wish!! I am 37 which isn't really that much older LOL!!

My mum was diagnoised last year with AD at the age of 64, but she was originally mis-diagnoised 4 years ago with epilepesy. I would say she started having propblems in her late 50's, but being so young they just never thought it was AD. Seems these day's EOAD is a very common occurance sadly. My mum is in the late stages of AD now and it's the hardest thing I have ever witnessed. She is still so young at heart, she is the life and soul of the party, but she is slipping away from us. I am taking mum into a care home tomorrow to give my dad a days respite. This will be her first visit so I am very nervous about it.. In truth no matter what our age we always feel the same about our parents as they do us. My advice would be to take any help that is offered, talk to people who want to listen to you. Look after yourself as much as you can as your mum and dad are going to need your help I promise you that. Life is very cruel sometimes..:(
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,971
0
Derbyshire
Hello Laura:

We do sometimes get younger members (say 16+) who are looking for support from others of similar age. If you stay with us you may find others will come along but not so frequently as us older members. Younger members do not log in so frequently so can feel disappointed not to find someone of their own age.

I agree with your Dad why not post a similar question on the main Forum and others may respond there. (Do not duplicate a post as it is against T & Cs and then we have to delete one of them :(). Sadly it is often the older members who have much experience and advice on anything to do with dementia and you may well learn alot from us anyway.

The Moderators are aware that younger people have a need for support on dementia matters and we are looking into how this need can be met.

I am really sorry to read about your dear Mum and I do hope you can find some support here on Talking Point.

My very best wishes
 

LauraKx

Registered User
Dec 16, 2011
32
0
31
Leicestershire
Thank you all for your messages :) I just wanted to say that I'm sorry if I have offended anybody older, because I truly am so thank full for all the support I have got of all ages, and it is not that I don't want to talk to anybody who is older than me, I was just hoping to find somebody of a similar age as well to talk to. I really do know that everybody feels the same way I do when this terrible disease effects a family or friend. I didn't want it to sound selfish and reading it back I could have worded it better. Thank you again for the messages. xx
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,971
0
Derbyshire
Laura, I am positive you will not have offended anyone. Its good to see you here and we really want to give you all the support we can.

I will check out whether any other younger members have been online lately.

Edited to add:
One member I was thinking about has not been online since mid February but I will keep an eye out for her logging in again. I wish I could do more.
 
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wjoanne918

Registered User
Feb 25, 2012
47
0
South Wales, UK
Hi Laura, I'm not quite your age but i'm only 31 and I still feel 21 so close enough lol. My mum is now 58 and was diagnosed 6 years ago but we believe the ALZ started at about age 49, so I can relate to what your going through. I am new to the site and it has helped me so much, i now log on every night, sometimes I just read other times i may comment but since plucking up the courage to register there's no going back for me. I remember when mam was diagnosed I was so angry because I was young and I felt it was unfair that I was losing my mam, I still feel like that sometimes but not so much now, I mostly get upset that my children have missed out on their nanny. I think the hardest part of being young with a parent with ALZ is that we have to change roles and become the parent, that takes some getting used to, it's not the life I would have chosen if given the choice but we have to do our best and thats all we can do. Good luck Laura and if you ever feel like a chat, feel free to inbox me anytime. Jo xx
 

cornish

Registered User
Dec 12, 2011
37
0
Cornwall
Hiya

Your not alone, I still like to think of myself as young, well 27 lol my Dad has Fronto,I really enjoy chat with people that have been on the planet a little longer than us, with age comes experiance and I have found the folk that have been on the planet a little longer than us can offer great advise. You notice how I never used the word Ol*er, thats whit from someone who has been on the planet a little less time ;).

Seriously though, Its tough for anyone Suffering with Dementia/Alzhimers and even tougher for the Careers, Its really hard at the age we are at, as we are trying to build a life, studying devolping careers.

But I look at it like this, we are very brave and hold a lot of courage and strength to deal with what is happening in life at the minute, and there will be times we need to pull ourselfs back up, but if we can find that strength now and build on it, we should be ready for challenges life throws at us throughtout the lifetime we have ahead.

All the best Ryan. :)
 

Dolly27

Registered User
Jan 6, 2012
19
0
Hi Laura, I really don't think you will have offended anyone at all, and appreciate your need to be in contact with someone of a similar age ....have you tried asking at your local Alzheimer's group ? Or at the clinic supporting your mum ?? Also if you are on Facebook, there are a few Alzheimer's groups and it may be worth posting there ??? There is an amazing man in Torbay called norms macnamarra , if you go through his link he may be able to help .....also have you considered contacting admiral nurses ?? Google them for local contact details, they offer support not only to the person with dementia but also the family , and again may be able to help you ....just a few ideas, can't guarantee success, but really hope you may find the contact you are looking for x
 

susan83

Registered User
Jan 25, 2012
8
0
Hellooo, I'm Laura and I am 19, Mum was diagnosed with alzhiemers last year at 49, I have had some lovely support over the last few months on joining it has been overwhelming. Every one has been a lot older than me & I was wondering if their is anyone out their a similar age to me to talk to as well? thank you xxx

hi laura im 28, my mum has had this 4 10 yrs. she however only started showing signs 3 yrs ago. we have been told she is in the later stages which is unbelieveable because to us she has only been like this 4 a while, xxxx
 

CollegeGirl

Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
9,525
0
North East England
Hi Laura, I'm in my forties, and not at all offended by your post! It's perfectly understandable that you would want someone around your own age to talk to about the issues that bother you relating to your mum's illness. Older people can offer us all lots of valuable experience, and younger people often have fresh perspectives.

Recently, when talking to my 13 year old daughter about her nana's illness, I was flabbergasted at her insight into the situation, and the empathy she feels for her nana's problems. Much more accepting of the situation than I am, and able to see it from her nana's point of view much more easily than I can.

We all have something to offer, and I hope that you find someone your own age or thereabouts to talk to, as well as us older ones!
 

mockingbird59

Registered User
Mar 8, 2012
10
0
Cheshire
Hellooo, I'm Laura and I am 19, Mum was diagnosed with alzhiemers last year at 49, I have had some lovely support over the last few months on joining it has been overwhelming. Every one has been a lot older than me & I was wondering if their is anyone out their a similar age to me to talk to as well? thank you xxx
Hello Laura
I'm quite new to this site but think it is a wonderful forum to get advice and feel less alone. My husband was diagnosed with PCA in Feb this year at the age of 53 and it has been hard for us all - we're still coming to terms with it. Our youngest daughter in particular has had problems coping as none of her friends at uni seem to really understand how she feels. She turned 20 in January and is in the process of transferring to a uni nearer home to be closer to a more sympathetic support network. Her mental health is more important than sticking it out where she is - it can take her 5 hours door to door to get back home. She finds it hard being so far away then coming home and seeing changes in her dad.
I think it would be good for her to use this forum but it may be too early for her yet. You sound like a very level headed brave young lady. I will suggest my lass looks at this site as it might help her too, but I can't predict what she'll do just now. I do hope you find someone close to your own age in the meantime.
Best wishes, Alison
 

kitkat

Registered User
Mar 14, 2012
3
0
East Devon
Hi Laura,
I'm 17, and my Dad was diagnosed with Alzhiemers when i was 13 years old, and my Dad was only 46 when he was diagnosed. He has recently gone into a care home as home situations became to difficult. I haven't come across anyone who is a similar age to me who is going through the same/similar situation. If you want to talk to me, i wouldnt mind at all as it would be nice to speak to someone who is a similar age to me :) xxx
Ciana
 
I'm 29

Hello, this is my first visit to this site and your thread got me thinking. Me and my sister are next of kin to our brother who has fronto-temporal dementia, diagnosed about a year ago. One of the things I am finding difficult is this massive change happening to my life, and not knowing anyone else my age who has experienced being a carer or what dementia is like. Older friends have been more understanding but it's difficult for younger friends to get their head around. I feel a lot older myself since this happened because my role in life is shifting. Of course it is a bigger sadder change for my brother, but he has what they call 'no insight' so it seems like the job of mourning for his changes falls to us, if that makes sense. Anyway I'm glad to find this site. Also although I am on here because I'm hyper stressed out at the moment, I'm also kind of accepting that this is an important part of life, and I'm lucky to still be having some good times with my brother.
 

Evanc

Registered User
Mar 17, 2012
1
0
Co down
Support

Hello Laura,
My names Evan, I am the oldest in a family of three children, I am 18 my dad was diagnosed about 4/5 years ago, I have been quite the opposite and have had next to no support. It has been tough having to adapt to being the 'man' of the house, whilst having to help care for my dad. Like you I would love to chat to people around my age and be able to talk to someone who really knows what its like :/
 

Nicola_10

Registered User
Mar 17, 2012
1
0
Hellooo, I'm Laura and I am 19, Mum was diagnosed with alzhiemers last year at 49, I have had some lovely support over the last few months on joining it has been overwhelming. Every one has been a lot older than me & I was wondering if their is anyone out their a similar age to me to talk to as well? thank you xxx

Hey Laura, I'm Nicola and I'm 22. This is my first post so forgive me for not really knowing what to say, other than my grandfather had Alzheimer's and I'd be happy to talk to you if you wanted :)
 

cristina173

Registered User
Mar 17, 2012
1
0
Im 21.

Hey Laura,
I just joined this because of link on the Alzheimer's twitter page. I'm 21 years old and my mum was diagnosed last year when i was 20. I too would also like to talk to someone my own age and completely understand the difficulty of trying to find someone who really understands what your going through. Regardless if we are at an age where we are seen as "adults" early twenties is still so young and its hard to come to terms with such sad news and i dont know about you but no matter how hard my friends try to comfort me i cant help but think that they dont know how it feels. Its a horrible disease for anyone to have to go through and maybe its selfish for me to say this but being this age and having a parent with AD is even harder because we are still dependent on them to such a large extent. Id be more than happy to speak to you and let you vent because we all need to do it.

Hope you get this

C
 

AnnieAP

Registered User
Mar 17, 2012
1
0
Hi Laura,

I'm 25 and my mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's almost 6 years ago. It's really hard isn't it?! I hope you and your dad are doing okay and still finding things to smile and laugh about.

What do you think your coping strategy is for dealing with all this? I'm guessing from the fact that you've been speaking to people on here that you've already taken the best piece of advice I could give you, which is to talk to people and let them support you. It took me a very long time to cotton on to that, so nice one for getting there so quickly! I think the one other really important thing to do is to let yourself feel sad sometimes - my sister saw a counsellor who suggested giving herself a bit of time each week to just cry. It can be so hard when you are caring for others to let yourself do that, or to let yourself do that without worrying that it means you're not coping, but I think it's really important.

Struggling with the impossibly difficult task of caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's is so tough. I have found it especially difficult to accept because my mum, like yours, was so young when she was diagnosed, I feel like she was stolen from me far too soon. I don't know what stage your mum is at and whether she is still able to to communicate with you, but I'm sure she is immensely proud of you and how you are dealing with such difficult things. Keep talking and keep feeling proud of yourself for being so strong.

To the young gentleman who also replied to you and expressed how difficult it is to have to step up and look after your family while all your friends are living responsibilty and care-free - I take my hat off to you, sir. I was slightly older than you when my moment came to look after my younger sisters and to support my dad, but I know how hard it is and how much you have to sacrifice. Again, I hope you realise how proud your dad would be of you, and I hope you give yourself time to be an irresponsible teenager!

I hope you are both being kind to yourselves and ensuring you look after you as well as your families around you (it took my boyfriend a very long time and even some shouting to get that one through to me!)

With compassion and support,

Annie
 

nicoise

Registered User
Jun 29, 2010
1,806
0
Hello to all you younger TP members,

I'm so pleased you are finding each other - whatever comes out of these connections, just knowing there are others out there in a similar situation will be of help.

I feel dreadfully selfish feeling sorry for myself having lost my Mum when I was 50 - at least I had the opportunity to enjoy many years with her, into my more senior years. I have been spoilt in many ways.

You are most definitely justified in feeling anger at your loss, the deprivation of your parent too young. It is indeed cruel; and more so because your contemporaries will not have the same experience on the whole and thus finding support is so much more difficult.

Please do come here to TP for support and information - we are all here because we are struggling with the common enemy...

Much love to you all xxx
 

CollegeGirl

Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
9,525
0
North East England
Hello all you young-uns, like nicoise I'm also glad you're finding each other. I can't imagine how I would have coped if my mam had had alzheimer's when I was only in my 20s. I'm in my late 40s and am having difficulty coming to terms with it - I really feel for you all. I have two daughters, one a teenager and one in her early 20s, and if it was me with Alzheimer's I'd be appalled if they were left to cope with it alone.

I hope you get all the emotional support you need from each other and am so pleased that you are in touch - although it's tragic that there are so many of you.

With love and best wishes.

xx