Please..if there is a god out there..

[DeborahBlythe]

I'm annoyed with myself because I expected more of me.

Love xx

Hello Gigi, I'm really sorry to read about yesterday and how low you were feeling. If you expected more of yourself, I can only say you must be setting your expectations way too high.

You are dealing with a highly stressful situation of which none of the professionals, in all probability have any personal experience themselves, and you are doing extremely well. You joke about yourself and spread cheer and help to others and you STILL cope with Eric.

To paraphrase Tina, you do MORE than your best: you do the very best you can.

xx

 

[gigi]

Oh dear..I was very gloomy last night. It all seems so endless at times

It's a fact that the attitude of the SW and the CPN has knocked me back. I'd love to get angry about it but somehow am not able to feel angry...just disappointed and very let down by them.

Eric was up just after 4.30...time for tea and questions..

But he's bright as a button thismorning. No "accidents"!

I'll be off out soon. The sitter comes in at 10...

Nothing exciting planned...a visit to the GP to have my BP checked...
And I'll pop in to see how mutti is.

More thanks to you all for helping me to keep this in perspective.

Love xx

 

[Lynne]

If only a few more CPNs were like Sylvia's Terry, who doesn't see it as beneath him to read these accounts of actual (as opposed to theoretical) dementia, written by us "amateurs".

It's a fact that the attitude of the SW and the CPN has knocked me back. I'd love to get angry about it but somehow am not able to feel angry...
just disappointed and very let down by them.

I think you're much too far down the exhaustion route to have enough energy to tackle these know-it-all 'professionals', it's like banging your head against a bloody wall anyway!

 

[gigi]

If only a few more CPNs were like Sylvia's Terry, who doesn't see it as beneath him to read these accounts of actual (as opposed to theoretical) dementia, written by us "amateurs".

Not just CPNs, Lynne, but SWs too...if they are involved with Dementia Care.

My visit to the GP was as I expected..

My BP is not being controlled by the current medication and is to be doubled starting today. While there is acknowledgement that this is likely to be stress related it's important that it's brought back down to acceptable levels.

On Thursday morning the DNs will visit early to take fasting bloods.

I have to see the GP again within the next 4 weeks.

On the positive side Eric is bright but very confused.

Oh..and the CPN phoned thismorning to ask how I was.

Love xx

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello Gigi:
Not surprising your bp is up. Maybe more to do with stress of handling CPN/SW

Are you going to tell us your reply to the CPN?

Love

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Sorry to hear the news about your BP, Gigi, but good that you had it checked today.

Did you get to see your mum today?

What did you tell the CPN?
xx

 

[Mo_N]

Gigi, I'm glad to see your doctor is taking YOUR health seriously.

I'm not surprised your BP is up, mine is and I've not got anywhere near the problems you are facing 24/7. Please take care of yourself, you are very precious.

Like the others I'm intrigued to hear what you told the CPN.

Gave it to them with BOTH BARRELS I hope

((BIG HUG))

Mo
x

 

[Grannie G]

Forget about your CPN gigi, just remember to tell the advocate your BP medication has been doubled.

 

[gigi]

Just for the record...

And this must be a record....

I found Eric on the floor about 10 to 3..

Phoned 999...the paramedic was with us just after 3.

He got Eric up on his own...checked him over, helped him to the loo, got him back into bed, and left about 10 minutes ago..

Eric has settled and gone back to sleep...I'm just finishing my cup of tea and shall try to do the same.

xx

 

[jenniferpa]

I don't know about record, but this is probably the kind of record that you would be willing to to miss.

I do so hope you can get back to sleep.

love

 

[Grannie G]

I do so hope you can get back to sleep.

Well you are on line now gigi so if you did get back to sleep it wasn`t for long.
Perhaps you should have phoned your CPN while you were having your cup of tea at 3.33am. to ask how she was.

 

[Helen33]

If Eric had been living on his own, would he have been capable of ringing for the paramedics? It is slowly getting towards Monday's meeting and I just hope you can get some rest today when the sitter arrives.

Love

 

[gigi]

Good morning everyone!

I must have dozed off eventually but had some very strange dreams....

We've been up since just after 6 and Eric is wondering if he should bother going to work today. His reasoning is still quite sound..If he's going to work I'll have to take him as he's not allowed to drive these days. If he's not going I'll have to ring his boss and tell him why.

He has no memory of falling out of bed through the night, or the paramedic coming to help.

For those of you wondering about my response to the CPN..

I was honest and polite and thanked her for phoning. My parting shot was that the GP recognised our situation and the stress that I was under...but did not think that antidepressants were the best way to deal with it. I also told her how very supportive he had been...

Love xx

 

[BeckyJan]

I was honest and polite and thanked her for phoning.

I would not expect anything less from you Gigi

Sorry to hear you have had yet another broken night. I do hope you can print this 'record' so that the powers can see just how difficult life has been.

Hope you manage a nap or two during the day.

Love

 

[gigi]

I do hope you can print this 'record' so that the powers can see just how difficult life has been.

I can't print it out Jan, as my printer's on the blink...

But I can point the AS Advocates to it if they need some background..it's also serving as an "aide memoire" for me!

My 4 hours sitting time is fully booked today...so no catching up with sleep..(pause to feed blackbird..he's running frantically up and down the window sill outside and calling to me...)

Keeping a close eye on Eric as he doesn't need anyone to help him to get washed or dressed..he's perfectly capable of doing it himself..

Love xx

 

[Skye]

I also told her how very supportive he had been...

Nice one, gigi!

Love,

 

[julieann15]

Gigi
After the lovely CPN and SW we had just before mum went into the care home- I cannot believe the 2 that you have been dealt with- I really wish you could have had mine as they were so supportive

Love Julie xx

 

[gigi]

After the lovely CPN and SW we had just before mum went into the care home- I cannot believe the 2 that you have been dealt with- I really wish you could have had mine as they were so supportive

Ours were, Julie, until I mentioned that I was now struggling to care and mentioned the dreaded words.."Permanent Residential Care".

As long as they thought I was coping everything was fine, and nothing was too much trouble. They just don't seem to understand that I've reached a point where I feel I can't do this anymore.

Love xx

 

[julieann15]

Gigi
Does it boil down to money I wonder? Mine were reluctant to permanent care until they realised they would be saving a few hundred pounds a week if mum did go into care?
I totted up how much the carers were charging, the day centre and the direct payments versus the home- funny then they changed their mind as to whether mum was ready? Overnight she went to "substantial care needs". It was not until she went into the home that we truly saw how little she could actually do for herself and to how she had neglected certain health issues that we were unaware of when she was "home alone"

Gigi- i really feel for you

Love Julie

 

[susiesue]

Gigi
Does it boil down to money I wonder?

I'm convinced it boils down to money and they will do whatever they can to pay as little as they can possibly get away with........

Over the last 3/4 years my David has cost them absolutely nothing and they still baulk at the idea of having to pay for him when his private funding runs out.