I need help and advice.
My dad (87) who lives with my mum (87) has just been diagnosed with vascular dementia from his 2019 CT head scan (delay due to covid) and is awaiting review of his Feb 2024 CT scan. He does not believe there is anything wrong with him, despite not bring able to retain information for more than a few seconds. He asks and gets angry about a car he sold when he decided to give up driving 4 months ago. He gets extremely angry and aggressive, shouting, breaking and throwing things and accusing my mum and myself of all sorts of things from selling his car behind his back, conspiring and having affairs with car thieves and trying to poison or do other things to harm him. He has a tendency to go out at night in a temper, wandering for hours, falling and hurting himself and being aggressive with others. He has been prescribed an antipsychotic but it doesn’t seem to be doing much to modify his behaviour. He has so far only caused my mum one minor head injury, but I worry they will seriously hurt each other.
My mum is under an huge strain with this almost 24/7 and is unable to control her own anger and rather than escaping to another room, tries to stop my dad breaking things/ leaving the home etc. and fights back. I can’t tell how much this is because of her own memory problems. (My mum is also waiting review of her CT scan for memory problems, but as they found a tumour on her brain scan we have to wait 12 months for a hospital review before she can be assessed in full.) I try to give my mum a break, but she only takes a break with me and I can only give her that for a short period once a week for a few hours when another relative is available to be with my dad. She has refused offers to stay overnight with other friends or family.
I think my mum needs some sort of coaching or peer support but I can’t find where to go for help.
My dad (87) who lives with my mum (87) has just been diagnosed with vascular dementia from his 2019 CT head scan (delay due to covid) and is awaiting review of his Feb 2024 CT scan. He does not believe there is anything wrong with him, despite not bring able to retain information for more than a few seconds. He asks and gets angry about a car he sold when he decided to give up driving 4 months ago. He gets extremely angry and aggressive, shouting, breaking and throwing things and accusing my mum and myself of all sorts of things from selling his car behind his back, conspiring and having affairs with car thieves and trying to poison or do other things to harm him. He has a tendency to go out at night in a temper, wandering for hours, falling and hurting himself and being aggressive with others. He has been prescribed an antipsychotic but it doesn’t seem to be doing much to modify his behaviour. He has so far only caused my mum one minor head injury, but I worry they will seriously hurt each other.
My mum is under an huge strain with this almost 24/7 and is unable to control her own anger and rather than escaping to another room, tries to stop my dad breaking things/ leaving the home etc. and fights back. I can’t tell how much this is because of her own memory problems. (My mum is also waiting review of her CT scan for memory problems, but as they found a tumour on her brain scan we have to wait 12 months for a hospital review before she can be assessed in full.) I try to give my mum a break, but she only takes a break with me and I can only give her that for a short period once a week for a few hours when another relative is available to be with my dad. She has refused offers to stay overnight with other friends or family.
I think my mum needs some sort of coaching or peer support but I can’t find where to go for help.