My mum (my dad’s main carer) has been in hospital since Saturday with heart problems. I have stayed with my dad at their family home accompanied by either my husband or daughters which has been a great support.
However this is now night number 4 and each night when we go to bed my dad just won’t sleep. He’s unsettled and very frequently comes into my room upset and confused and asking where mum is. Obviously I can totally understand this but I am only human and after 3 nights of sleep deprivation I am really struggling to cope. The interruptions are constant and relentless. I’m exhausted.
Last night he got totally confused asking was it his mum in hospital (my dad is 77) and he thought I was my mum. I really found this hard to deal with, but just tried to stay calm and reassured him. Although he didn’t really listen and just told me his head was all over the place.
During the days he consistently asks the same questions over and over again, literally seconds apart. Again, I know he’s not doing this on purpose but I challenge anyone not to get overwhelmed and dare I say, annoyed!
He can’t be left alone since as in addition to Vascular Dementia, he has respiratory and cardio problems. We have managed things so far since it’s half term so my eldest daughter isn’t in college and my younger daughter is not at school this week. They, together with my son when he’s not in work, are able to ‘grandad sit’ to just be there. I have taken the week off work as annual leave.
Mum won’t be being discharged this week and it could well run into next week.
As much as I am here and will do all I can I have admitted to myself that we as a family just can’t sustain this level of care indefinitely.
I have made a phone call to social services to enquire whether we could get dad a temporary place at a residential care home, just for respite whilst mum is in hospital. I am waiting to hear back if a place has been found.
I have spoken to mum and she agrees that this would help and keep my dad safe.
Can anyone recommend the best way to present this ‘holiday’ to my dad in a way that doesn’t sound like we’re just ‘shoving’ him into a home. This is most definitely not what’s happening.
I am under no illusion that he will put up a fight, so I just want to package it in a positive light.
Any good spin doctors out there?
Thank you.
However this is now night number 4 and each night when we go to bed my dad just won’t sleep. He’s unsettled and very frequently comes into my room upset and confused and asking where mum is. Obviously I can totally understand this but I am only human and after 3 nights of sleep deprivation I am really struggling to cope. The interruptions are constant and relentless. I’m exhausted.
Last night he got totally confused asking was it his mum in hospital (my dad is 77) and he thought I was my mum. I really found this hard to deal with, but just tried to stay calm and reassured him. Although he didn’t really listen and just told me his head was all over the place.
During the days he consistently asks the same questions over and over again, literally seconds apart. Again, I know he’s not doing this on purpose but I challenge anyone not to get overwhelmed and dare I say, annoyed!
He can’t be left alone since as in addition to Vascular Dementia, he has respiratory and cardio problems. We have managed things so far since it’s half term so my eldest daughter isn’t in college and my younger daughter is not at school this week. They, together with my son when he’s not in work, are able to ‘grandad sit’ to just be there. I have taken the week off work as annual leave.
Mum won’t be being discharged this week and it could well run into next week.
As much as I am here and will do all I can I have admitted to myself that we as a family just can’t sustain this level of care indefinitely.
I have made a phone call to social services to enquire whether we could get dad a temporary place at a residential care home, just for respite whilst mum is in hospital. I am waiting to hear back if a place has been found.
I have spoken to mum and she agrees that this would help and keep my dad safe.
Can anyone recommend the best way to present this ‘holiday’ to my dad in a way that doesn’t sound like we’re just ‘shoving’ him into a home. This is most definitely not what’s happening.
I am under no illusion that he will put up a fight, so I just want to package it in a positive light.
Any good spin doctors out there?
Thank you.