Thanks
@Bikerbeth @Woohoo xx Its not been best few days, Poor mum was quite confused and upset Sunday and Monday and also this afternoon. She was upset On Sunday and Monday that sis was going home on Monday lunchtime. Sis said she wasn't too bad during morning and early afternoon on Sunday but in the afternoon she was obviously sundowning and had forgot who sis was.
Sis and mum came over to our house about half four and mum looked quite sad and confused and a bit scared. She kept asking who was going to look after her, as she had been poorly and sis had been looking after her and she couldn't manage on her own. She said quite a few times that she didn't know that sis was related to her, she said she knew who I was but not sis. That's a bit of a change as I'm usually one she doesn't know.
She kept asking what she would do when sis went home so sis and said that I would still be here and looking after her and mum asked if I would know what to do? seems she had forgot that I have been looking after. She kept asking how I would get there to look after her as I didn't have a car like sis and she couldn't come to mine on her own.
She was okay to stay for dinner and a while after though she did keep asking the same questions. Sis took her home about 8 and she said she was ok when she was there and she asked sis to write down that she was picking her up tomorrow and bringing her to mine so she knew what was happening.
About 9 mum rang me and was confused again about who had left her note about monday and again told us to keep saying who we were and that she was losing it cos she didn't know who people were and that had seen sis but she wasnt as upset as Saturday night.
On Monday when sis brought mum to mine she was the same again, quiet, subdued and sounding a bit scared about who was going to look after her when sis went home and how I would be able to look after her.
She said she couldn't do anything anymore, couldn't cook, didn't know how to use washer or when to do things bless her, she was really sad so i tried to make her feel better and say she could do these with help and we didn't mind helping and tried to talk about things she could do with help as if she could do them on her own.
When sis was getting ready to leave about 12 she realised she hadn't given mum her mid morning tablets when she went over to give her tablets and pick her up as mum was waiting with coat on to come to mine.
The vitamin d and folic acid probably didn't matter but the sertraline was more of a shame if she missed it as thats the one for her anxiety and agitation so sis went back to mums to get it before she left.
Once sis left mum still asked on and off for a while who would look after her and how would I manage without car but she was ok about being at mine with me. In the afternoon she seemed to forget about sis and instead she kept asking about where she lived and how she got there and acting like she had just moved there and didn't like it because it was too far to walk to mine when she always had walked here before, which is wrong but she has a tendency to think this now.
She recognised house when she got home and seemed ok when we left but when I got in I rang her but she didn't answer as was at loo. I rang back few minutes later and she said I was just going to ring you. Turned out she thought I was 'friend' and she had been at mine, she had totally forgot about sis being here earlier. She said she was sorry she couldn't understand why mixing me up all the time so I tried to play it down and say it was just cos she was tired and had been ok in day.
The weirdest thing she said was when she was checking who I was she read out mine and hubbys name and phone number from her address book and said is that you? and I said yes, but then she said but I thought that was friends name and number. So now it seems that besides seeing and hearing me she often doesn't recognise me and thinks its 'friend' even when looks at photos of me says thats our andie not you, also now she can read my name out and think it means 'friends' name !!!!!
She wasn't too bad today until about 4. We'd popped to aldi early afternoon and got something for dinner and about 4 she kept asking what we were having. On about the 8th time in 10 minutes of asking she noticed I called her mum while telling her what we were having and she said Are you my daughter? Are you our Andrea? and so she was quite confused about who I was again. She kept asking on and off in between watching tv ,when hubby came and when we had dinner until we left at half 7. She kept looking at us as if she was trying to think who we were but luckily even though she was confused she seemed quite calm but still a bit sad.
We called for hubbys bp medication on way home so we were a little longer than normal and when we got in I saw mum had called our home phone a few times so I rang her back. She said she'd been trying to ring me because she wanted to tell me she hadn't been well and didn't know if I knew about it. She had forgot I had been today, said she thought someone had been but didn't know who. She said I keep being confused and don't know who people are or what I'm doing. She was pleased I knew about her and had been going but sorry didn't know it was me.She asked if I would go again and seemed ok about me going tomorrow and after a bit we said night etc. She sounded quiet and confused again.
Its so upsetting that she is confused and worried about it and scared about who is going to look after her as she thinks she can't look after herself.
SW emailed sis today and said the care agencys they use aren't able to do mums carer visits so its gone out to brokerage now which she'd thought it would. She also said she has organised day centre visit for next week on wednesday and transport will be picking her up at 8.30.
I've not told mum yet, I'm not sure what I'm going to say yet. Mum will struggle to be ready for 8.30, she's not been getting up till nearly that time lately and she will get herself in a tiz and probably not sleep night before then be at loo all morning because she does that when has to go somewhere and then she says she can't go.If she does go then she will panic about locking doors. It takes ages to get her out of house most times with lots of checking and asking if locked doors and she hasn't left it on her own for months.
I'm wondering if I should get hubby to drop me off at mums on his way to work about half 7 that morning so I can get her up and be there while she gets ready and when she leaves so I can lock up and she won't have to worry about it. I had thought about going through for time due home so didn't have to come in to empty house on own. Don't know if this is good idea or not but really worried how will manage on her own and so is sis.
I also don't know what we're supposed to do with mums tablets and paying for transport. When we went for quick visit before manager said they would give us a bill for cost of day care and meal (SS pay most but not all) but I don't think she said what we did about paying transport. She also said they can give mum her tablets as long as still in box with label saying when to give, but I had thought if mum did go that first time or so she went I would take her and I could drop tablets off and tell them what to give her when, her tablet boxes just say how many to take a day but not the time of day as we worked that out for when suited mum best, but now I will have to give mum them to take and bring back herself.
Feeling rather stressed and panicky about it, apologies for long ramble again x