Nothing secret about me
@Kikki21 lol, well, apart from my @true” identity
I’ve struggled today ... so much I should be doing, but couldn’t motivate. It took everything I had to get in the car and drive off site
Of course, I do know why, but that doesn’t make anything about it any easier.
Today would have been mums 85th birthday
Two years ago, a couple of weeks after her stroke, I invited some of her friends round for tea n cake. I bought her a new top, even though it was two sizes smaller than she’d been wearing, it hung off her, so much weight had been lost.
I can still see her, sitting chatting, eating cake, her eyes telling me not to fuss. I can hear her laughing after I told everyone it was time to b**** o** ... well, there’s always one person who decides the time limit doesn’t apply to them, isn’t there?
It never occurred to me, on that day, that it would be her last birthday She’d been so fiesty up till then, walking Pooch twice a day, swigging her G&T’s, marching off to see her friends.
I’m not cross any more, but I am sad that we didn’t get more time. We should have had more time. Her incompetent GP messed up and she suffered unnecessary pain, it shouldn’t have happened, but it did.
I do wonder what she would think of my life now, would she support the job I’ve chosen to do, or would she tell me to go back to my old job, use the qualifications I worked so hard to get. I hope she’d be pleased. I wish I could talk to her about the people I see, the smiles I get, the feeling of making someone smile
So, not a great day, but a different day. I’m not going to waffle about time being a great healer blah blah blah ... just that things gradually feel different