Today mum is much better after three days of antibiotics. On Sunday evening she was so bad that I wondered whether I would be able to continue being here with her. Such a sweet old lady can change very quickly into a whirlwind of anger and aggression. This time round there was a cause, a UTI, which is now seemingly resolved.
Meeting the guys in Manchester was a big challenge for me as my anxiety is quite bad these days, I have become so anxious at leaving mum that each moment that passes I struggle when away from her -my mind is constantly wondering, unable to focus on conversation. Our meeting made me realise how bad this has become. I think I need to go back on citalopram, so that at least I feel less anxious and can exist effectively and also work without constant thoughts of worry. Alzheimer's is one problem to deal with, Alzheimer's and anxiety is quite something else, and if I am honest it becomes destructive and also isolating.
So I have decided that I must get used to socialising again and doing something for me. Plans are a foot, small changes but at least changes