Care for the Carer !

[maryjoan]

Sadly no hedgehogs where I live. We have an owl, though. I never see him but I hear him at night at this time of year especially. And parrots, of course - we have lots of parrots! Up at the wildflower reserve too there are blue tongued lizards, actually skinks, quite a size, about ten inches to a foot long. They move ponderously and look so ancient, as though they’ve been here since time began.

They probably have been there since time began...... We live in a small village, and last thing at night I like to stand for a few moments on the front step, and just listen - I can here the nearby stream as it tumbles over the rocks, and often hear owls, cows, etc. I look at the stars, and spot the occasional plane and wonder where it is going.........

 

[maryjoan]

Hi @AliceA
I could have written most of your last paragraph myself! I so miss going out every day, meeting people and feeling I have a role other than a domestic one. I too used to go to exhibitions, the theatre, continuing education courses etc. Recently I’ve found the FutureLearn site useful - they offer free online courses in a huge range if topics. I’ve just finished ‘Literature and Mental Health’ and have registered for ‘Shakespeare and his World’ have done others too - they’re very easy to follow and give ideas for further reading too. I also try to keep up with documentaries on BBC4 and similar - OH and I watch some if these together
Thanks @maryjoan for this ‘Popin’

Lindy xx

My pleasure !! So pleased you are all here to meet with me and each other !! I am smiling for the first time in what seems like an age!

 

[maryjoan]

Hi dear @Mudgee Joy please write out ten times, “There is no such thing as off topic for US”.

I work from home too. Please try not to give it up. It’s so important for a sense of our own identity and for our few remaining shreds of confidence (mine, anyway).

I agree about getting a paid carer for your big night off. It’s a cleaner, more straightforward transaction, I believe. And I’ve also found family members can take these commitments more lightly and if something else comes up for them, then that’s just too bad for us. It needs to be a paid arrangement.

So, just being really nosey here...... those of us who work from home......

What do we do??

I will start the ball rolling

I am a genealogist and I work from home

next please !!

 

[AliceA]

Hi @AliceA
I could have written most of your last paragraph myself! I so miss going out every day, meeting people and feeling I have a role other than a domestic one. I too used to go to exhibitions, the theatre, continuing education courses etc. Recently I’ve found the FutureLearn site useful - they offer free online courses in a huge range if topics. I’ve just finished ‘Literature and Mental Health’ and have registered for ‘Shakespeare and his World’ have done others too - they’re very easy to follow and give ideas for further reading too. I also try to keep up with documentaries on BBC4 and similar - OH and I watch some if these together
Thanks @maryjoan for this ‘Popin’

Lindy xx

Ah, Lindy, you sound after my own heart. We tried to watch together too, many things stir the long term memory, mine included so we enjoy remembering. I will look at Future Learn, after I sort out my medical appointments just suddenly got a short notice a procedure for tomorrow after dentist.

 

[AliceA]

So, just being really nosey here...... those of us who work from home......

What do we do??

I will start the ball rolling

I am a genealogist and I work from home

next please !![/QUOTE
When I was younger I had gaps in employment, people used to ask whether I was working, I used to say YES but I'm not being paid for it at the moment.

 

[Cagsey]

As TJC63 said it's so easy to lose sight of yourself, but being in nature with my camera is my thing. I enjoy close up work of plants, flowers and abstracts of the natural world. Getting up close with maryjoan's oak tree sounds wonderful.
This does take me onto a different plane. My other great joy are our two rescue cats, they always make me smile, I love them to bits.

Hi Denny D,

You may have helped answer a question for me, I am in process of adopting 2 rescue cats, one has just had his eye removed. I am only thinking am I mad? coping with 2 cats and my husband with Lewy Body Dementia, who is deteriorating, but this is what I am hoping they may bring joy into my life, as feels so empty, and help my husband. Can you advise if they really do help you? Thank you
Carole

 

[maryjoan]

As TJC63 said it's so easy to lose sight of yourself, but being in nature with my camera is my thing. I enjoy close up work of plants, flowers and abstracts of the natural world. Getting up close with maryjoan's oak tree sounds wonderful.
This does take me onto a different plane. My other great joy are our two rescue cats, they always make me smile, I love them to bits.

Is this micro photography you do? I think that's what it is called - I have seen some taken in Somerset and the images are super !

 

[AliceA]

My pleasure !! So pleased you are all here to meet with me and each other !! I am smiling for the first time in what seems like an age!

Good, we need to smile, this will help us all to see beyond the obvious. X

 

[Helly68]

Have you seen the stickers that you can get from the Hedgehog Preservation Society? They are for putting on strimmers, mowers etc, to remind the owners to check for hogs before starting work on the garden........

That is a good idea, I will have a look

 

[Thethirdmrsc]

Am late to the party but joining in! I love genealogy, has anyone been on Scotland’s people website? It’s great. My wee dog and I are getting plump, as OH doesn’t walk to far, so am considering taking up shuffle running. Am aware that autumn is coming!, but it would get us out of the house for half an hour of peace.

 

[AliceA]

Am late to the party but joining in! I love genealogy, has anyone been on Scotland’s people website? It’s great. My wee dog and I are getting plump, as OH doesn’t walk to far, so am considering taking up shuffle running. Am aware that autumn is coming!, but it would get us out of the house for half an hour of peace.

Love to see a video of you doing that!

 

[maryjoan]

Love to see a video of you doing that!

I would love to know what it is!!!!!! Scotland's People - yes, love the site - Scottish records give far more details than south of the border......

 

[Lindy50]

Am late to the party but joining in! I love genealogy, has anyone been on Scotland’s people website? It’s great. My wee dog and I are getting plump, as OH doesn’t walk to far, so am considering taking up shuffle running. Am aware that autumn is coming!, but it would get us out of the house for half an hour of peace.

Shuffle running???! Can someone explain this to me please? X

 

[Lindy50]

Ah, Lindy, you sound after my own heart. We tried to watch together too, many things stir the long term memory, mine included so we enjoy remembering. I will look at Future Learn, after I sort out my medical appointments just suddenly got a short notice a procedure for tomorrow after dentist.

Good luck with procedure and dentist @AliceA xx

Going to listen to the Proms tonight - tango music apparently

 

[Olliebeak]

I love this thread - not about dementia but how we are surviving. And it’s encouraging to know my escapes are shared by some of you. I decided quite early in this journey - when it became clear we would be much more housebound - that I had to find things I could do at home to distract me and stop me getting depressed

I too am hooked on my iPad. I play lots of puzzle type games and brain training every day.

Social media is amazing. I am in touch with old friends (of both sexes) and keep up with what my family is up to. It’s so good to chat to people who don’t know my husband and dont know my situation.

I also do family trees - my own, my husbands and for several friends and I have found new online friends because we are distantly related.

And I also do research. I have almost completed a project to investigate all the names of men who died in WW1 and are listed on our village website which has been really interesting.

Then of course there is chocolate and the odd G&T after a hard day!

It’s so important to remember who we are and to keep up friendships and interests for our own sanity now and in the future - when there might be a day when we are not carers anymore and have to think about our future lives

 

[AliceA]

Good luck with procedure and dentist @AliceA xx

Going to listen to the Proms tonight - tango music apparently

Thank you Lindy, I missed the Proms last night. Perhaps I can catch up. During the fifties I used to go, my firm had tickets.
I never got to the first or last night though.
B was up at four to get ready for 10.30 surprised that I thought it too early! Last Friday he was up at 2.00 getting ready to go out at 9. So I think this an improvement, however I got him to settle again.
It is an anxiety thing. I try to avoid being too specific as to when we have to leave.

This unexpected call has thrown a spanner in the works as it is a busy week in any case.
I am having a raft of tests as I am already having maintainence. Radio Therapy ablation for the Oesophagus every three months. I am on a HALO trial, the name always makes me smile, will I pass I ask!
This does complicate my role, somewhat. Just hoping the latest symptoms are 'only stress'.
The rubber bond is going on sun room roof today, so just have to wait on electrician and plumber to put outside tap in a different position.
Just had a further invoice to sort out for that.

Thank you for your good wishes, I really appreciate that. With love,

 

[maryjoan]

I love this thread - not about dementia but how we are surviving. And it’s encouraging to know my escapes are shared by some of you. I decided quite early in this journey - when it became clear we would be much more housebound - that I had to find things I could do at home to distract me and stop me getting depressed

I too am hooked on my iPad. I play lots of puzzle type games and brain training every day.

Social media is amazing. I am in touch with old friends (of both sexes) and keep up with what my family is up to. It’s so good to chat to people who don’t know my husband and dont know my situation.

I also do family trees - my own, my husbands and for several friends and I have found new online friends because we are distantly related.

And I also do research. I have almost completed a project to investigate all the names of men who died in WW1 and are listed on our village website which has been really interesting.

Then of course there is chocolate and the odd G&T after a hard day!

It’s so important to remember who we are and to keep up friendships and interests for our own sanity now and in the future - when there might be a day when we are not carers anymore and have to think about our future lives

I did an interesting bit of research yesterday for someone who was tracing the people from the village War Memorial - there was one he could not find........... this was WWI, or course. The man in question had been in the army 1902-1907 - found his attestation papers, found his school entrance with his dob also...... then I looked on the 1939 register, and there he was - living in a hut in a field just outside a nearby village - birth date, everything checked out - so he was not killed in WWI - even though on memorial, but also explains why not on the CWGC website!!!!!!

 

[maryjoan]

Great Day planned. My daughter is coming over with Little Jack who is 2, and very very cute. He loves to pinch Grandad's biscuits and always wants a balloon when he is here. So I have put a spotty balloon in the drawer where I know he will look for one. Love him.


Then this afternoon whilst OH is playing snooker, my friend and I am going to a posh hotel for cream tea - that will be a treat. I have not mentioned to her that it is the same hotel where I got married some 20 odd years ago, and made the worse mistake of my life - that is another story, and he is now deceased.

That's Life as Esther used to say!!

 

[Olliebeak]

I did an interesting bit of research yesterday for someone who was tracing the people from the village War Memorial - there was one he could not find........... this was WWI, or course. The man in question had been in the army 1902-1907 - found his attestation papers, found his school entrance with his dob also...... then I looked on the 1939 register, and there he was - living in a hut in a field just outside a nearby village - birth date, everything checked out - so he was not killed in WWI - even though on memorial, but also explains why not on the CWGC website!!!!!!

That’s a great story - the village must have thought he had died! One of the saddest ones I found was a family of 4 boys. The father had vanished, mother died after they were moved to our village from London under Poor Law rules. The eldest went to Canada to find work , the second one enlisted and died in the war but the two youngest were sent to Canada in a ship load of orphans under that awful scheme that exported children. The three surviving brothers all died in Canada thousands of miles apart. I always wonder if they were ever reunited.

 

[maryjoan]

That’s a great story - the village must have thought he had died! One of the saddest ones I found was a family of 4 boys. The father had vanished, mother died after they were moved to our village from London under Poor Law rules. The eldest went to Canada to find work , the second one enlisted and died in the war but the two youngest were sent to Canada in a ship load of orphans under that awful scheme that exported children. The three surviving brothers all died in Canada thousands of miles apart. I always wonder if they were ever reunited.

I know - it's really sad - and even though so long ago......... I recently traced five sisters - their mother had died aged 38, father was left with 2 boys and 5 girls. He put all the girls in orphanages and workhouses but kept the boys. I found 1 girl in a orphanage in London run by nuns, and another in a really gothic looking mansion in Yorkshire as the scullery maid of an unmarried doctor and his elderly sister.........