Sirena,
I am inclined to agree with you, too many assessment days can cause a lot of stress for everyone, a single assessment may be the right thing for a lot of people, you did well just to have the one. My MIL had to sit in the lounge all day (3 trial days) which was quite busy and she is used to only one or two people around which just added more stress. It wasn't a true trial as if she had her own room she could have sat in there quietly and come out later on her own terms which may have been slightly less stressful for her or maybe not but we would have seen a clearer picture of how much she settled in the day.
Other people have suggested like yourself that the most modern home isn't always the best so I won't be too fussy about the décor when looking. My MIL's dementia is quite bad really but her antenna is all there and we wouldn't get away with telling her she is going on 'a short break' or 'going on holiday'. The only logical thing to tell her is that we are going on holiday and can't get extra carers in to look after her and she needs to go into respite. The truth is we cancelled our holiday last week when we found out she had gone 'walkabout' on her own outside which was a first. We realised it would not be safe to go on holiday without someone around all the time. This led me to join this very nice forum and ask for some advice. My MIL had 3 hours a day private funded care in but we have increased it this last month to 5-7 hours a day and we also go in or take her out for 2-4 hours a day depending on how she is. After all this she still says she sees 'no-one', she just can't remember all the people have been in. Our main priority is to get her in somewhere where she will be safe. Thanks for you input.
I am inclined to agree with you, too many assessment days can cause a lot of stress for everyone, a single assessment may be the right thing for a lot of people, you did well just to have the one. My MIL had to sit in the lounge all day (3 trial days) which was quite busy and she is used to only one or two people around which just added more stress. It wasn't a true trial as if she had her own room she could have sat in there quietly and come out later on her own terms which may have been slightly less stressful for her or maybe not but we would have seen a clearer picture of how much she settled in the day.
Other people have suggested like yourself that the most modern home isn't always the best so I won't be too fussy about the décor when looking. My MIL's dementia is quite bad really but her antenna is all there and we wouldn't get away with telling her she is going on 'a short break' or 'going on holiday'. The only logical thing to tell her is that we are going on holiday and can't get extra carers in to look after her and she needs to go into respite. The truth is we cancelled our holiday last week when we found out she had gone 'walkabout' on her own outside which was a first. We realised it would not be safe to go on holiday without someone around all the time. This led me to join this very nice forum and ask for some advice. My MIL had 3 hours a day private funded care in but we have increased it this last month to 5-7 hours a day and we also go in or take her out for 2-4 hours a day depending on how she is. After all this she still says she sees 'no-one', she just can't remember all the people have been in. Our main priority is to get her in somewhere where she will be safe. Thanks for you input.