How do you know what I feel,Amethyst?
You are so right Amethyst that is how I feel.
How do you know what I feel,Amethyst?
Hi. Not for the first time I find myself suffering from blank screen syndrome. It's not that I don't have anything new to say. It's just that I don't know where to begin. I've felt so tired today, it's been a none stop whirl of craziness, all I wanted to do was stop, sit down and fall asleep. Now, lying in bed sleep just doesnt want to know. I don't suppose I'm doing myself any favours staring at the screen in the dark. I really do feel as though I'm living with a stranger now, not one I particularly like either, I think I may have said that in a previous post and one day soon I'll probably say it again. She's been horrible to our daughter this afternoon and then this evening it was my turn. I sometimes wonder what I've done to deserve it. When she takes off into one of her angry moods it can be quite frightening in some ways, it's the look in her eyes, the finger pointing, the shouting and that look in her eyes, almost like there's someone else behind them, pushing and goading her to do something worse. Well, this post seems to be working for me, I really am ready for sleep now. I just hope tomorrow is better than today.
By the way, those shelves are all up now, I still don't understand why she couldn't understand what I was trying to do, I don't think I will ever understand. Al.
Maybe we should give up trying to understand
When my husband is angry (anything can trigger his anger) I leave him alone.
What would happen if you did the same?
Would it be dangerous/ impossible?
Could you manage to leave her for a while, Al? I do not have that to deal with, but Margherita does, so she knows what it is like for you...I can just sympathise, and I do. Are you getting any time to yourself? I have been following your post for maybe six to eight weeks now, and even in that time, I have seen your mood deepen. Can you mention it to the nurse next time you have a visit? I think those happen every couple of weeks for you. It sounds like you need a man cave to escape to ... or to be able to get to the pub!
Hi Al,
I have read your posts but not posted til now.
I feel for you, my m had to deal with a lot of anger and frustration with my dad. Whatever she did wasn't right , from getting him up on a morning, sending him back to bed because it was 4am, asking him to eat his breakfast, take his tablets, have a wash/shower. It is draining in itself without the pwd understanding what you are doing. Two different worlds living side by side isn't easy.
As has been said about leaving her alone. My mum started doing this , going off to a spare room to just have some space from him. It helped though he did come looking, he did ask if he had upset her too.
It sounds like you need some time for yourself , I don't think you can carry on as you are. X
Al
Why wait? - You will have to get help at some stage and if you get it now you can get out for a walk and take time to talk to someone for a few mins without rushing home.
You really need it or you will crack up from the constant demands of caring for your wife no matter how much you love her.
Also - she just might surprise you by being more cooperative with the carer in eating, taking her tablets etc.
When talking to the nurse you must let her know that you're desperate - if she thinks you're coping she will let you....
Once again, Hi. I'm really running out of things to say, that's probably the reason I've not been on here for a few days. I'm also running out of patience. Not just with my wife, God knows she'd try the patience of a saint. And believe me, I'm no saint. But also those supposed to be looking after our health and wellbeing. Another week gone by with no visit. It has its plus side, after all ,no visit = no stress. Or does it? The mood oh has been in lately she might as well be stressed, I know I am. She's just so nasty all the time. I've taken note of the suggestions in recent replies and fully intend to do something, get something sorted over the coming weeks. You know that I am in need of a break and I know it too, but as I've said before, as long as we appear to be getting along ok they put us at the bottom end of their list of priorities. That's how it feels anyway.
I went for my flu vaccine today. Took my wife along too, she's been asking every day this week when we will be going. As soon as we got to the car park at the Dr's that was it. Complete change of mind, not having the flu jab, never had one before, never needed one, never had flu, let's go somewhere else for the day. She doesn't have any needle phobia or anything she just didn't want to go. She'll go on a different day. No point in arguing, her mind was made up.
We've been trying to sort some family photos into albums this week, I thought it might be therapeutic. How wrong was I. It really is incredible what she can find fault with, some of the photos have been cut up because they are of someone she doesn't particularly like. She hasn't cut me out of any of them yet but it's only a matter of time. She overstepped the mark this evening. I found some photos of a trip to lego land we made nearly twenty years ago. There was a photo of a little girl, who's she? Here we go, I thought. She's no one we know, and promptly cut it in half and put it in the bin. It was a full size goldilocks built of lego. So the madness continues. That's it for another night. Time for sleep. All to soon and it will be morning and once again it starts all over again. I sometimes think I'm not really up to this. Al.