Two years to get this bad. What now?

AL60

Registered User
Oct 14, 2016
509
0
Cheshire
Hi. Thank you, Monday was excellent. It's a long time since I managed to play catch up on that scale. Also making plans for the twenty-seventh when my wife is going out to lunch with friends once again. At last I feel I'm getting somewhere. Also don't forget townswomen's guild on the seventeenth, it gets better doesn't it. Otherwise it's very much business as usual. There are some plusses, her weight loss seems to have levelled out and she will shortly be going on to using rivastigmine patches instead of the tablets. It won't be the end of medication wars though, but hopefully it should be a bit easier. Told you I was an optimist. That's it for now. ☺Al.
 

Casbow

Registered User
Sep 3, 2013
1,054
0
77
Colchester
Hi. Thank you, Monday was excellent. It's a long time since I managed to play catch up on that scale. Also making plans for the twenty-seventh when my wife is going out to lunch with friends once again. At last I feel I'm getting somewhere. Also don't forget townswomen's guild on the seventeenth, it gets better doesn't it. Otherwise it's very much business as usual. There are some plusses, her weight loss seems to have levelled out and she will shortly be going on to using rivastigmine patches instead of the tablets. It won't be the end of medication wars though, but hopefully it should be a bit easier. Told you I was an optimist. That's it for now. ☺Al.
Glad you enjoyed your time off. There is only one thing that is good about dementia. Just when you think you have had enough. Just when you can't do this anymore. Something changes. Often just the change makes it easier. My love to you.xxx
 

dancer12

Registered User
Jan 9, 2017
498
0
Mississauga
Hi. Thank you, Monday was excellent. It's a long time since I managed to play catch up on that scale. Also making plans for the twenty-seventh when my wife is going out to lunch with friends once again. At last I feel I'm getting somewhere. Also don't forget townswomen's guild on the seventeenth, it gets better doesn't it. Otherwise it's very much business as usual. There are some plusses, her weight loss seems to have levelled out and she will shortly be going on to using rivastigmine patches instead of the tablets. It won't be the end of medication wars though, but hopefully it should be a bit easier. Told you I was an optimist. That's it for now. ☺Al.

Hi:

One small step for mankind but one huge step for you. Be happy. :)
 

AL60

Registered User
Oct 14, 2016
509
0
Cheshire
Hi. I've been doing so well just lately, I'm not saying that things have been perfect, far from it but I must admit I've been quite proud of the way I've been coping. This fact has been reflected in my lack of posts of late. Then why tonight? Earlier today we went to the local supermarket, one of the bigger ones. While there she spent some time looking for colouring books. There's nothing unusual in this as she's looked at them before, even bought one from time to time. But that's as far as it's gone, bought them and left them, usually under the table. But today she found a child's colouring book complete with stickers. Well, this afternoon I watched her colour some of the pages . I tried not to worry but I was strangely overcome with a kind of sadness which is hard to describe. It soon passed as there were other things going on at the time. But much later on this evening as I was tidying up before bedtime I picked up the book she'd been filling in and saw how she had managed to colour a couple of the pages and also managed to place the stickers in neat rows. This was the point where I found myself in something of a blubbering mess. I don't really know why it should be that and then, it soon passed. And here I am ,passing it on to you. Thank you talking point, just for being there. As it's so late I'll sign off now but I'm sure I'll be back soon.Al. Goodnight.
 

Casbow

Registered User
Sep 3, 2013
1,054
0
77
Colchester
Hi. I've been doing so well just lately, I'm not saying that things have been perfect, far from it but I must admit I've been quite proud of the way I've been coping. This fact has been reflected in my lack of posts of late. Then why tonight? Earlier today we went to the local supermarket, one of the bigger ones. While there she spent some time looking for colouring books. There's nothing unusual in this as she's looked at them before, even bought one from time to time. But that's as far as it's gone, bought them and left them, usually under the table. But today she found a child's colouring book complete with stickers. Well, this afternoon I watched her colour some of the pages . I tried not to worry but I was strangely overcome with a kind of sadness which is hard to describe. It soon passed as there were other things going on at the time. But much later on this evening as I was tidying up before bedtime I picked up the book she'd been filling in and saw how she had managed to colour a couple of the pages and also managed to place the stickers in neat rows. This was the point where I found myself in something of a blubbering mess. I don't really know why it should be that and then, it soon passed. And here I am ,passing it on to you. Thank you talking point, just for being there. As it's so late I'll sign off now but I'm sure I'll be back soon.Al. Goodnight.
HelloAL60. First, pleased to hear you are ok. I cried reading your post. I absolutely understand why this made you feel the way it did. My husband loves children's books. He tries to read them and points to the pictures and it seems to make him happy. I have quite a few childrens books the sort that have stories that we would read to 2 or 3 year old children. They are the grandchildrens who have long since outgrown them. It makes me feel so emotional to see him take such an interest in the pictures. We have to remember that their brain is that of a small childs. Saddest thing to witness but also if it makes them happy it has to be good. Lots of love to you both.xx
 

Amethyst59

Registered User
Jul 3, 2017
5,776
0
Kent
Yes, it is nice to ‘see’ you again, Al. But this is sad, isn’t it? My OH was a good artist..and I have been struggling to find him stuff to do. I have given him my adult colouring book...and he is happy spending hours on one picture....but he is doing the whole thing in one colour. Yesterday, I was tidying up his computer...at his request...getting rid of old emails. I was so sad, seeing how articulate he was just a short while ago. Sometimes stuff like this just slaps you in the face, doesn’t it?
 

AL60

Registered User
Oct 14, 2016
509
0
Cheshire
Hi. Toys, children's books and shiny things. Trying to get past the Christmas displays in supermarkets is getting harder as time goes on. We only went for bread today but also ended up with several more Christmas decorations. If this carries on at least I won't have to go into the loft this year. ☺. It's only October and we're the first in our road to have a candle bridge in the front window, probably the first in town. It's an all on battle to dissuade her from putting up the Christmas tree. I'm in the process of getting the living room sorted,, new carpet, new gas fire and new furniture. Consequently the room has been totally emptied in readiness for all this so no tree yet but by November 15, it'll be up and decorated with all manner of shiny things, then we'll all be happy. For a while anyway. When we're in the shops, she will spend quite a while looking at children's toys, games and books. I'm holding her back from buying things, for now at any rate, but for how long. I try to remind her that our children are all now grown up and we have no grandchildren to buy for but for now she just loves to browse. So, tomorrow hopefully we'll have a day indoors, this will be unusual as normally by the time I've woken up, showered then dressed she's waiting by the front door, coat on, bag in hand ready to go out. Where To? No idea, anywhere for peace and quiet or a shop that sells shiny Christmas decorations. ☺Al.
 

dancer12

Registered User
Jan 9, 2017
498
0
Mississauga
Hi. I've been doing so well just lately, I'm not saying that things have been perfect, far from it but I must admit I've been quite proud of the way I've been coping. This fact has been reflected in my lack of posts of late. Then why tonight? Earlier today we went to the local supermarket, one of the bigger ones. While there she spent some time looking for colouring books. There's nothing unusual in this as she's looked at them before, even bought one from time to time. But that's as far as it's gone, bought them and left them, usually under the table. But today she found a child's colouring book complete with stickers. Well, this afternoon I watched her colour some of the pages . I tried not to worry but I was strangely overcome with a kind of sadness which is hard to describe. It soon passed as there were other things going on at the time. But much later on this evening as I was tidying up before bedtime I picked up the book she'd been filling in and saw how she had managed to colour a couple of the pages and also managed to place the stickers in neat rows. This was the point where I found myself in something of a blubbering mess. I don't really know why it should be that and then, it soon passed. And here I am ,passing it on to you. Thank you talking point, just for being there. As it's so late I'll sign off now but I'm sure I'll be back soon.Al. Goodnight.

Hi:

Tears flow from the eyes but come directly from the heart. You have a good heart my friend. All the best in future days.:)
 

dancer12

Registered User
Jan 9, 2017
498
0
Mississauga
Hi. Toys, children's books and shiny things. Trying to get past the Christmas displays in supermarkets is getting harder as time goes on. We only went for bread today but also ended up with several more Christmas decorations. If this carries on at least I won't have to go into the loft this year. ☺. It's only October and we're the first in our road to have a candle bridge in the front window, probably the first in town. It's an all on battle to dissuade her from putting up the Christmas tree. I'm in the process of getting the living room sorted,, new carpet, new gas fire and new furniture. Consequently the room has been totally emptied in readiness for all this so no tree yet but by November 15, it'll be up and decorated with all manner of shiny things, then we'll all be happy. For a while anyway. When we're in the shops, she will spend quite a while looking at children's toys, games and books. I'm holding her back from buying things, for now at any rate, but for how long. I try to remind her that our children are all now grown up and we have no grandchildren to buy for but for now she just loves to browse. So, tomorrow hopefully we'll have a day indoors, this will be unusual as normally by the time I've woken up, showered then dressed she's waiting by the front door, coat on, bag in hand ready to go out. Where To? No idea, anywhere for peace and quiet or a shop that sells shiny Christmas decorations. ☺Al.

Hi:

Twinkle, twinkle little star. Let her decorate with all the shiny and sparkly stuff she wants too so she can sparkle as the star that she surely is.:)
 

AL60

Registered User
Oct 14, 2016
509
0
Cheshire
Yes, it is nice to ‘see’ you again, Al. But this is sad, isn’t it? My OH was a good artist..and I have been struggling to find him stuff to do. I have given him my adult colouring book...and he is happy spending hours on one picture....but he is doing the whole thing in one colour. Yesterday, I was tidying up his computer...at his request...getting rid of old emails. I was so sad, seeing how articulate he was just a short while ago. Sometimes stuff like this just slaps you in the face, doesn’t it?
Hi. That's so true, it's a heck of a slap too, and it hurts so much.Al.
 

Sammie234

Registered User
Oct 7, 2016
219
0
Shropshire
It’s a rotten disease this it steals a little every day from those we love and breaks a little from us as carers. Our lives are not the same we cannot call it our own, as such we try desperately to hold on to who we are as slowly and surely our partners/parents lose who they are, what they once did with ease now they find is beyond them. It’s heartbreaking so if they want to put up glittery things way to early for Christmas it’s giving them pleasure what the heck, hubby already watching the Christmas film channel, though he still knows it’s a while away. Get out his favourite movie in about a months time Scrooge with Alister Sim he loves that one. Time for bed I think o_O
 

AL60

Registered User
Oct 14, 2016
509
0
Cheshire
Hi again. It's taken some time but I really do think I'm getting into some kind of routine. Either that or I'm just getting used to things now. There's a sort of groundhog day thing going on. With Christmas rapidly approaching it's that time of year when the Christmas jigsaw is taken out of the box. This year is no exception, a bit early i know but never mind, whatever makes her happy. Now, about the jigsaw. Up until last year we had four of them, in fact we still do but last year they all got put away in one box. Now that would be a challenge too far. So, a nice new one has been bought, a 1000 piece puzzle. I know it won't be completed any day soon but what fun was had in trying. Trying to put the pieces together on top of the small picture in the box was never going to work but she was so happy to try there was no way I was going to try to stop her. Looking at all those pieces spread out on the table gave a kind of insight into the way her thoughts perhaps work now. The whole picture is there in front of us, in a thousand odd shaped bits, neither of us can make head nor tail of it, but if we follow a process we can put it together and see the end result. However when I ask her to help me to separate the edges and lay those out first, she can't identify the edge pieces. So we do it her way and find matching colours and put those together, the girl with the glasses, the boy on the sledge, the shop sign and so on and so on. We didn't get far, it's back in the box now, well, mostly. I'm still finding bits of it several days later. I never really did like jigsaw puzzles, never had the patience. And that was the thing, she loved them, she would have had that one done in an afternoon or so. This October marks the third year since I first thought something was amiss. Just three years to get this bad and yet I feel I must be prepared for much worse. I think it's time I stopped now, maybe a little bit extra sleep tomorrow. I've reset all the clocks already but you can bet your life I've missed the one she'll check tomorrow morning, just to add to her confusion. Not to worry, another early breakfast won't hurt. Goodnight. Al.
 

margherita

Registered User
May 30, 2017
3,280
0
Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
It's taken some time but I really do think I'm getting into some kind of routine. Either that or I'm just getting used to things now.


she can't identify the edge pieces. So we do it her way


Just three years to get this bad and yet I feel I must be prepared for much worse.


Hi Al.
I have selected three points which are particularly meaningful to me.

I'm getting used to things, too. It is the only reasonable thing I can do. There is not much I can change or, if there is some, I can't see it. I try to adapt to my new life. It is a sort of survival technique, the cost/price of which is so high. I'm losing myself and my life.

"So we do it her way". You refer to the jigsaw puzzle. I always do my husband's way, also when it is unreasonable, silly, useless, uneffective. The only limit I put is when "doing his way " might be dangerous. He does not accept being contradicted.

I'm prepared for much worse, too. But I wonder if the worse is really the worse, because this stage when my husband can still somehow "reason" prevents me from making decisions which might be the best for both of us.

Hope you are rested after sleeping an extra hour
 

Sammie234

Registered User
Oct 7, 2016
219
0
Shropshire
I have just decided to go with the flow and see what happens husband is in the kitchen washing the dishes. He will put all the utensils in the kitchen draw regardless the large spoons will get stuck but will sort them out after. His memory is so bad he doesn't remember anything from 5 mins ago. The son has just rung to say himself and family coming to see us on Saturday. Im waiting for the " has the lad been in touch" :rolleyes:our daughter comes down @ least three times in the week with her two babies yet he will say haven't seen ........ For ages;)
 

Amethyst59

Registered User
Jul 3, 2017
5,776
0
Kent
I’m glad you have reached a calm period, Al. Maybe we are getting used to this? Tho no doubt it will come and bite us on the bum again soon!
 

janicek55

Registered User
Mar 19, 2016
16
0
Hi again. Certainly wasn't intending to post again so soon. But as it's the wrong side of midnight and once again find sleep isn't coming easy tonight, this seemed a good idea. It's looking to me as though we really are all in this together. So many similarities everywhere on this site. It could be seen as depressing, or, it could be seen as a wealth of useful information. I have a question, and I know someone, somewhere out there will have a number of ideas and suggestions for me. Mealtimes are becoming a nightmare. Just lately the food smells funny, it's too hot ,it's not hot enough, is this the one we normally have, it just doesn't taste right, the plates, cups etc smell perfumed. To me it seems just an excuse not to eat. And believe me it's any excuse not to eat. But any amount of junk goes down a treat. I know the obvious answers, don't buy the crisps, chocolate, cake and biscuits. You try stopping her. It's like having a very grown up child. If food isn't hot enough, heat it, no, can't have that. If it's too hot , let it stand, good grief no, can't have it its too hot. You just can't reason with her. And that's only meal times. This isn't working, I'm even more awake now. The reason I'm concerned about her lack of normal appetite is over the last couple of years she's lost about forty lbs give or take. It's important too that she has a nutritional diet now more so than ever. But try telling her that. I know that there are lots of things I could try but one of the problems is that she doesn't like change. Just keeping to the tried and tested isn't working. If she had the choice she'd have beans on toast every meal. I've wondered if the dementia has altered her sense of taste. Anyway, best go now. Croissants for breakfast, can't go wrong there, can I? Al
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