I was going to start a similar thread but have hopped onto the back of yours. Sorry. In my case, things are slightly different. Mom has moderate AD but with only me to care for her, I was starting to get angry/sad/desperate...all those things so got mom into respite but we've now decided it would be in everyone's best interests if she stayed. The care home are doing the DoLS assessment but mom is insistent she wants to go home. She had a lucid(ish) day yesterday and we went out. I tried to explain the reasoning behind her staying in a CH. "If such and such happened at home, what with would you do?" "Well, you'd do it!" "And what if I couldn't or I wasn't around?" She seemed to take it in in the moment!!! Today's another day. That's my issue...i know she's a nightmare at home, but to the outside world, moms very plausible. She only in assisted living; she can come and go as she pleases, but I know I'm being judged (paranoid lol) or at least I feel I am. To the world at large, she doesn't look ready for any support. I know it's not the case. Wonder if others have similar experiences?? Sorry for highjacking your post lol. Ps mom was on Risperidone before she went into respite. She was vile vile vile on it if it helps any xx
Hi Nessie,
Thank you for replying. You are most welcome to highjack my post. We are all in the same boat here. We are forever crying, sad and angry. I have come to the conclusion I am grieving, I know she is still here, but she is not the mom I used to have and I think I am missing that so much.
My mom was in assisted living up until December, but we could continue no longer.
My mom can be very plausible too. She loves to chit chat with anyone and looks to others may be not quite as bad as we make out, but they are not dealing with the dementia, like you and I are.
The rispiridone was stopped on Thursday and yesterday she seemed a lot better, but her moods can change very quickly. So hopefully it was the rispiridone causing the major outbursts.
I have been up and down from our local A&E all week, due to falls, banging her head, low heart rate, high temp. So I am sorry I did not reply sooner.
I hope you find the right decision. I know we did, as long as you can handle the emotional blackmail, which we get daily.