Good evening everyone.
I’d love to hear advice from those of you, who have cared for many years for a much loved OH;
and then, reluctantly decided to consider a C.H. for them. I must be brave and type those dread words - Care Home
How did you manage the transition? I just can’t see how I would be able to break it to
my OH.
I have been his 24/7 carer for eight years and, sadly, our children refused to help when I asked them to find a way to help me to take a respite break for a few days.
I am at my wits end, and spend far too much time on self pitying crying.
My husband is nearly ninety years old; and has mixed Alzheimer’s and Vascular dementia.
He also has Epilepsy, is nearly blind, and uses a wheelchair. He is catheterized, and has started to become doubly incontinent.
He has been attending day-care on Monday mornings; which has been a Godsend for me.
However, it is becoming harder and harder to get him up, washed, dressed & breakfasted by eight thirty when the mini ambulance picks him up.
He’s an old guy after all, and loves his bed.
He begs me to drop the day-care, and I feel it is cruel to send him, when he hates it so much.
Unlike so many of the Dementia suffers I read of here, he is not violent, and tries to cooperate as best he can.
And yet, he is no company for me, and sits, slumped in his armchair all afternoon and evening, just repeating his few, well worn phrases.
I'm now seventy-six, and I am finding it harder and harder to cope. I’ve not had a day off in all this time. Not even during the time last year, when I was treated for breast cancer.
I still love him for the man he once was, but I think I will go into melt-down if I don’t have a few days off soon.
So, tell me please. How did you manage to gently and kindly ease your beloved partner into a care home?
Did you hang on in there until it became an absolute necessity? I know some of you did.
Was the decision taken out of your hands by the authorities? .
Do you regret it?
Do they regret it?
Your thoughts and experiences would help me to come to terms with a really tough decision.
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I’d love to hear advice from those of you, who have cared for many years for a much loved OH;
and then, reluctantly decided to consider a C.H. for them. I must be brave and type those dread words - Care Home
How did you manage the transition? I just can’t see how I would be able to break it to
my OH.
I have been his 24/7 carer for eight years and, sadly, our children refused to help when I asked them to find a way to help me to take a respite break for a few days.
I am at my wits end, and spend far too much time on self pitying crying.
My husband is nearly ninety years old; and has mixed Alzheimer’s and Vascular dementia.
He also has Epilepsy, is nearly blind, and uses a wheelchair. He is catheterized, and has started to become doubly incontinent.
He has been attending day-care on Monday mornings; which has been a Godsend for me.
However, it is becoming harder and harder to get him up, washed, dressed & breakfasted by eight thirty when the mini ambulance picks him up.
He’s an old guy after all, and loves his bed.
He begs me to drop the day-care, and I feel it is cruel to send him, when he hates it so much.
Unlike so many of the Dementia suffers I read of here, he is not violent, and tries to cooperate as best he can.
And yet, he is no company for me, and sits, slumped in his armchair all afternoon and evening, just repeating his few, well worn phrases.
I'm now seventy-six, and I am finding it harder and harder to cope. I’ve not had a day off in all this time. Not even during the time last year, when I was treated for breast cancer.
I still love him for the man he once was, but I think I will go into melt-down if I don’t have a few days off soon.
So, tell me please. How did you manage to gently and kindly ease your beloved partner into a care home?
Did you hang on in there until it became an absolute necessity? I know some of you did.
Was the decision taken out of your hands by the authorities? .
Do you regret it?
Do they regret it?
Your thoughts and experiences would help me to come to terms with a really tough decision.
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