The Long Goodbye: our new advertising campaign

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sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,186
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Surrey
@sdmhred what kind of response have you had from the FB post?
Interestingly absolutely nothing @Fugs!
I shall re-post it today just in case it wasn’t seen - but I doubt it. Normally I get friends seeing and responding to my posts.
My instinct is that for general awareness it is too hard hitting and so people will bury it with the I can’t / don’t want to deal with this issue ….which I suspect I would also have done.
 

kawarider

Registered User
Aug 3, 2020
19
0
I have no objection to it but, as a long term carer, personally don't think that it is telling me anything new or (for me) is particularly hard-hitting. My perspective is that it is not my wife who 'dies' over and over but a part of me, each time another bit of our life together has unravelled. But that is something that I have come to expect and accept. It may be hard-hitting for those with less direct exposure or who are only finding out the devastation that dementia causes.
I agree with you. Personally I don't like the advert. It is inaccurate in that in that the person with Dementia that "dies over and over", it's a part of them, again and again, and yes, a part of me each time. My experience is that I get flashes of the past where she remembers things, and flashes of the future where a little set back shows me what the future will hold. Currently I am spending an amount of money that would purchase a modest home, to try to make our home fit the future needs of my wife. I am looking to ways of our house remaining her home and being thwarted at every turn by the "professionals" Who say things like, we would not support that idea, or we don't think that is a suitable solution, We think it best that Your wife use the down stairs bedroom and loo, we could support a conversion to the loo. My opinion is the OT is wrong, very wrong and her plan is impossible to execute. Moving her to another bed room flies in the face of the sufferers needs. The bedroom they want to ban her from has been our room for over 20 years. We have had to use the guest room during the conversions and every night as traumatic for her "where am I" "I don't know what to do" "Where am I going" Why are these professionals so ignorant of the needs of our loved ones? Ignorant of trying to keep things as "the same" as possible? I am going along with the move to have a specialist trade company look at the feasibility of their plan, before I slam dunk the OT driving it. DUring her visit.... the answer was "No", "now what's the question". Why is everything so difficult and time consuming, when we carers have very little spare time as it is? I don't think the Ad' covers any of this, and doesn't really represent any typical Journey, if there is such a thing, through living with Dementia (both of us). My experience is that it is a fight, every day, to try to keep my wife's life as normal as possible. Continually adapting to today's issues, and trying to get the people paid to assist to understand, and not drive their own opinions home.
 

Angelwings77

New member
Oct 29, 2021
1
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I watched it through tears, such a devastating disease to watch a loved one go through, my dear mum passed away in April 2020.

Sadly, no matter how it’s portrayed there’s still a few in society that believe they will not be touched by such a condition.

I believe through fear more than anything. It is an extremely frightening diagnosis for any loved one. Although not everyone will have all the same symptoms. We still have a long way to go to break down some of these barriers, start by educating more people, start with the basics, more information, more help, sooner rather than later, break the stigma, everyone will visit a cancer patient , but sadly we must ask ourselves why aren’t dementia patients getting the same response ?

Again it’s the fear of the unknown, how will the person with dementia act ? Will they scream, shout, use profanity thing is not all PwD acts the same but we must always remember our Ioved ones are undoubtedly more frightened than we could ever be.

They are still the person we loved all those years and will continue to Iove long after.
I hope I’ve made sense in one way or another. To all those carers with loved ones, always know each and every one of you matter. Gentle hugs & blessings.
 

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Fugs

Registered User
Feb 16, 2023
105
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Interestingly absolutely nothing @Fugs!
I shall re-post it today just in case it wasn’t seen - but I doubt it. Normally I get friends seeing and responding to my posts.
My instinct is that for general awareness it is too hard hitting and so people will bury it with the I can’t / don’t want to deal with this issue ….which I suspect I would also have done.
I only let wider family know about my wife's diagnosis this last Christmas. It was too raw to talk about earlier, and at the start my wife didn't want people to know. On the whole I have heard nothing from them since I let them know. I have also heard that people don't know what to say, and so say nothing. So I am not surprised that you have had no response.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
23,616
0
Southampton
its hard for carers and cared for to see the advert but you cant wrap them in bubble wrap and protect them from everything. my husband saw it and asked questions for me to answer. maybe we are unique but we have never hidden away from it or not talked about it when there have been difficulties to over come them. he trusts me to do the best thing for him, to find solutions that he is happy about.
i would rather blow the whole thing apart for people to have a genuine understanding of some of it. we dont have a problem having adverts for cancer, macmillan nurses, marie curie nurses, COPD so why do we have a problem with dementia adverts. i dont think we can shield them or ourselves if we want medics, population to know the reality of caring for those that have dementia.
 

Andrew_McP

Registered User
Mar 2, 2016
391
0
60
South Northwest
We live at a time when, culturally, we're falling over ourselves to offend no one in any field of human interaction... to negotiate the tangle of hard truths about how life really is in a way which pretends it's something else. Which is how we end burying problems instead of solving them in all fields of modern life. And it's also how we ended up with very well intentioned campaigns emphasising "living well with dementia", which was the main message during my Mum's dementia years.

And yes, positivity is a great idea, and it's possible to "live fairly well with dementia" if you're one of the lucky, self-aware, well monitored, well supported few... at least in the early stages. I take my hats off to everyone in that position... to everyone who sees this new campaign and is dismayed... to everyone who sees it and thinks it's cruel or unnecessarily blunt. I hear your discomfort and wish I had more words of hope. But then...

Then I remember my time caring for my lost, furious, undignified, totally confused, and — after six gruelling years — my eventually blank, absent, husk of a Mum. For the last couple of years she was no more alive than those shadows left of folk after Hiroshima. And all I have to offer is rage at a universe which sees fit to inflict dementia upon us. It is the cruelest of afflictions in a universe that has no shortage of ways to inflict misery.

The definition of insanity, as we're all aware, is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Progress on dementia support or relief, let alone a cure, is... well, we're all far too aware what it is, sadly. So a wall of dementia is slamming into our ageing population at a rate of knots which we, as a society, are ill-equipped to deal with. Heck, we seem to have lost the cultural appetite to deal with even "easier" problems like getting a dentist, finding a plumber rather than a wannabe YouTube star, or making having a roof over your head anything less than cripplingly expensive. So in a world full of distractions and clamour for political help, money, or even awareness, where do the really hard problems go?

Back under the carpet. Back to the back of the queue. Back to the quiet 3am despair and the bathroom disasters and the wandering the streets and the crying at the end of the phone... or in absolute solitude when the phone no longer makes sense.

When I read some of the comments in this thread, I want to delete all this waffle and move on with my life. What right do I have to deny their discomfort and unhappiness with the new campaign? But when I think about the rooms full of folk I'll be helping distract from their lonely journey on Tuesday and Wednesday, or I look across the road to a bewildered neighbour with four care visits a day, another with just two visits a day so far, and when I look across the room at my Mum's photograph... then I remember every single step of the slog we had. I think of every single step of slog ahead for hundreds of thousands right now. And I think of the slog ahead for those yet to tread this miserable path... maybe even for ourselves.

I am trying to live well with not-yet-dementia. Sometimes I'm not entirely sure that's possible either! Once dementia's been in your life, there's no escaping it for long. But we have to have hope, and it is my sincerest hope that campaigns like this, and those brave enough to get it made, nudge us as a society closer to taking dementia far more seriously. Because dementia doesn't care if we ignore it, and at the moment society seems to be trying to move forward with this healthcare handbrake on.

TLDR version: 👍
 

northumbrian_k

Volunteer Host
Mar 2, 2017
4,501
0
Newcastle
If progress is to be made in heightening awareness of dementia and making substantial improvements to the health and care system, then it seems likely that there will need to be much more said about it in the media and society in general. That is likely to be hard for people with dementia who are still aware and for carers. But the other option of not talking about it - or dancing around the edges - has been seen not to work. There's a lot of things one might wish to hear nothing about but in the modern world it isn't possible to shut out things that may be distressing.
 

maggie6445

Registered User
Dec 29, 2023
596
0
its hard for carers and cared for to see the advert but you cant wrap them in bubble wrap and protect them from everything. my husband saw it and asked questions for me to answer. maybe we are unique but we have never hidden away from it or not talked about it when there have been difficulties to over come them. he trusts me to do the best thing for him, to find solutions that he is happy about.
i would rather blow the whole thing apart for people to have a genuine understanding of some of it. we dont have a problem having adverts for cancer, macmillan nurses, marie curie nurses, COPD so why do we have a problem with dementia adverts. i dont think we can shield them or ourselves if we want medics, population to know the reality of caring for those that have dementia.
👍👏
 

luggy

Registered User
Jan 25, 2023
208
0
We live at a time when, culturally, we're falling over ourselves to offend no one in any field of human interaction... to negotiate the tangle of hard truths about how life really is in a way which pretends it's something else. Which is how we end burying problems instead of solving them in all fields of modern life. And it's also how we ended up with very well intentioned campaigns emphasising "living well with dementia", which was the main message during my Mum's dementia years.

And yes, positivity is a great idea, and it's possible to "live fairly well with dementia" if you're one of the lucky, self-aware, well monitored, well supported few... at least in the early stages. I take my hats off to everyone in that position... to everyone who sees this new campaign and is dismayed... to everyone who sees it and thinks it's cruel or unnecessarily blunt. I hear your discomfort and wish I had more words of hope. But then...

Then I remember my time caring for my lost, furious, undignified, totally confused, and — after six gruelling years — my eventually blank, absent, husk of a Mum. For the last couple of years she was no more alive than those shadows left of folk after Hiroshima. And all I have to offer is rage at a universe which sees fit to inflict dementia upon us. It is the cruelest of afflictions in a universe that has no shortage of ways to inflict misery.

The definition of insanity, as we're all aware, is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Progress on dementia support or relief, let alone a cure, is... well, we're all far too aware what it is, sadly. So a wall of dementia is slamming into our ageing population at a rate of knots which we, as a society, are ill-equipped to deal with. Heck, we seem to have lost the cultural appetite to deal with even "easier" problems like getting a dentist, finding a plumber rather than a wannabe YouTube star, or making having a roof over your head anything less than cripplingly expensive. So in a world full of distractions and clamour for political help, money, or even awareness, where do the really hard problems go?

Back under the carpet. Back to the back of the queue. Back to the quiet 3am despair and the bathroom disasters and the wandering the streets and the crying at the end of the phone... or in absolute solitude when the phone no longer makes sense.

When I read some of the comments in this thread, I want to delete all this waffle and move on with my life. What right do I have to deny their discomfort and unhappiness with the new campaign? But when I think about the rooms full of folk I'll be helping distract from their lonely journey on Tuesday and Wednesday, or I look across the road to a bewildered neighbour with four care visits a day, another with just two visits a day so far, and when I look across the room at my Mum's photograph... then I remember every single step of the slog we had. I think of every single step of slog ahead for hundreds of thousands right now. And I think of the slog ahead for those yet to tread this miserable path... maybe even for ourselves.

I am trying to live well with not-yet-dementia. Sometimes I'm not entirely sure that's possible either! Once dementia's been in your life, there's no escaping it for long. But we have to have hope, and it is my sincerest hope that campaigns like this, and those brave enough to get it made, nudge us as a society closer to taking dementia far more seriously. Because dementia doesn't care if we ignore it, and at the moment society seems to be trying to move forward with this healthcare handbrake on.

TLDR version: 👍
@Andrew_McP this is a very eloquent post, the content of which will resonate with many. It merits being read out in Parliament or being incorporated into the next AS campaign. Thank you for sharing it.
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,186
0
Surrey
We live at a time when, culturally, we're falling over ourselves to offend no one in any field of human interaction... to negotiate the tangle of hard truths about how life really is in a way which pretends it's something else. Which is how we end burying problems instead of solving them in all fields of modern life. And it's also how we ended up with very well intentioned campaigns emphasising "living well with dementia", which was the main message during my Mum's dementia years.

And yes, positivity is a great idea, and it's possible to "live fairly well with dementia" if you're one of the lucky, self-aware, well monitored, well supported few... at least in the early stages. I take my hats off to everyone in that position... to everyone who sees this new campaign and is dismayed... to everyone who sees it and thinks it's cruel or unnecessarily blunt. I hear your discomfort and wish I had more words of hope. But then...

Then I remember my time caring for my lost, furious, undignified, totally confused, and — after six gruelling years — my eventually blank, absent, husk of a Mum. For the last couple of years she was no more alive than those shadows left of folk after Hiroshima. And all I have to offer is rage at a universe which sees fit to inflict dementia upon us. It is the cruelest of afflictions in a universe that has no shortage of ways to inflict misery.

The definition of insanity, as we're all aware, is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Progress on dementia support or relief, let alone a cure, is... well, we're all far too aware what it is, sadly. So a wall of dementia is slamming into our ageing population at a rate of knots which we, as a society, are ill-equipped to deal with. Heck, we seem to have lost the cultural appetite to deal with even "easier" problems like getting a dentist, finding a plumber rather than a wannabe YouTube star, or making having a roof over your head anything less than cripplingly expensive. So in a world full of distractions and clamour for political help, money, or even awareness, where do the really hard problems go?

Back under the carpet. Back to the back of the queue. Back to the quiet 3am despair and the bathroom disasters and the wandering the streets and the crying at the end of the phone... or in absolute solitude when the phone no longer makes sense.

When I read some of the comments in this thread, I want to delete all this waffle and move on with my life. What right do I have to deny their discomfort and unhappiness with the new campaign? But when I think about the rooms full of folk I'll be helping distract from their lonely journey on Tuesday and Wednesday, or I look across the road to a bewildered neighbour with four care visits a day, another with just two visits a day so far, and when I look across the room at my Mum's photograph... then I remember every single step of the slog we had. I think of every single step of slog ahead for hundreds of thousands right now. And I think of the slog ahead for those yet to tread this miserable path... maybe even for ourselves.

I am trying to live well with not-yet-dementia. Sometimes I'm not entirely sure that's possible either! Once dementia's been in your life, there's no escaping it for long. But we have to have hope, and it is my sincerest hope that campaigns like this, and those brave enough to get it made, nudge us as a society closer to taking dementia far more seriously. Because dementia doesn't care if we ignore it, and at the moment society seems to be trying to move forward with this healthcare handbrake on.

TLDR version: 👍
Spot on 👍👍

My worry is that the hard hitting emotive campaigns will just bury it deeper and deeper.

I wish AS could initiate some sort of flash mob annoyance campaign where we could be a nuisance as I think that might be more listened to!
 

Pebblepebble

Registered User
May 29, 2022
45
0
Can there ever be an advert that shows what dementia is like without it causing offence to some who see it?

I think there are parallels here with this forum. I've often thought how harrowing it must be for someone newly diagnosed or in the early stages of dementia to read some of the posts here.

In the end, we either talk about/show dementia or we don't. I'd hate to return to the days of 'Let's not talk about grandma - she's just getting a bit old.'
It's not offence, it's extreme upset which is different. Someone coming to this forum is actively looking, the adverts pop up on TV without you knowing.
This is very difficult to watch with my husband who has Alzheimer’s. He finds it very scary and upsetting to be told he is going to die time and time again!
Exactly.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,809
0
Kent
Someone coming to this forum is actively looking, the adverts pop up on TV without you knowing.

That is so true.

There are so many different sides to this discussion.

We all want the world to know dementia is the Cinderella of serious illnesses. Does anyone have a suggestion for raising awareness which doesn’t offend or frighten but does make the general public sit up and recognise it for what it is.
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,186
0
Surrey
I think we have potential in numbers @Grannie G
We need something that is easy for carers to do - @Dave63 had an idea of some sort of flooding the system with emails / texts/ tweets…almost a bit of subversive awareness raising..


Perhaps pick a week and on Monday contact about late diagnosis, Tuesday funding issues, Wednesday lack of daycare etc..


All letters organised by someone like the Alz Soc - so very easy for carers to implement

At the same time …flood the press…those who are able do something a bit outrageous like Fathers for Injustice did ……

Once you get the headlines there may be space for the conversation to open up. …..

And we give the message to all political parties that there are literally millions of us who are affected by dementia who will soon be holding a polling card.

My out of the box thoughts!!
 

JoShurm

New member
Nov 30, 2023
4
0
Hate the advert! It hits hard but its a slap 8n the face to those with Alzheimer’s. My mother saw it and was extremely distressed by it, having it rubbed into her face about dying many times. As if it isn’t hard enough already.
My mother spends most of her time watching TV and now is frightened to put it on in case she sees it again. Thanks a lot. I shall be leaving this forum.
 

Phil2020

Registered User
Oct 11, 2020
67
0
I’ve seen the advert a few times now and I find myself wondering just what it’s meant to deliver and to whom. That, and ‘how much did it cost’!

On the whole it doesn’t seem to add much to the ‘dementia conversation’ and simply relies on a (vicarious) ‘shock factor’ to gain the attention of a “ … general public who might not know much, if anything, about dementia”. But - even if they’re interested (and the bullet point research figures below suggest few are) - I don’t think it will particularly gain their attention because - unlike those of us who familiar with dementia - many who are unfamiliar WILL find it ‘shocking’ so won’t they simply turn over or go and make some tea when the ad starts? And for those who stick with it, does it tell them anything more than ‘with dementia you die’ again and again and again. An unremitting message of no-hope!

As an advert it’s obviously the experience of ‘dementia’ as seen through the eyes of an advertising agency. The contrast of light, colour and physical movement with dark and stillness; silhouette and shadow; the use of soft, sympathetic/empathetic Scottish voice to narrate; the repetition of ‘she died, she died, she died …’ but to what end, what objective?

I’m assuming the objective/point of the advert are what’s set out in this extract taken from Harriet's post, post #1

"One in three of us born in the UK today will develop dementia in our lifetime. It’s the biggest health and social care challenge we face, but we know awareness of and concern about dementia amongst the general public are low.
Research shows that:

  • 22% believe that dementia is likely to affect them or a loved one
  • 20% of people are confident that they understand what dementia is
  • Only 37% believe that urgent action is needed to support people with dementia.
These stats mean that it’s not the priority it deserves or needs to be, which is why it’s so important we run these emotive campaigns that also highlight the help and hope we provide.

This advertising campaign will be aimed at the wider general public who might not know much, if anything, about dementia. It reflects the devastating reality of dementia that we hear about so often at Alzheimer’s Society and on this community
."

“ …[W]e know awareness of and concern about dementia amongst the general public are low.” So, in essence it seems that the objective is simply to ‘raise awareness” in the general public? How/when is the success of the advert to be measured?

Raising awareness might have been achieved far more effectively - I think - by having a ten or fifteen second advert of a close up of someone simply shouting, loudly, aggressively, at the camera, things like ‘DEMENTIA STEALS YOUR DIGNITY!’ or ‘DEMENTIA WILL MAKE YOU FORGET YOU WERE MARRIED FOR FORTY YEARS!’ or ‘DEMENTIA MEANS FAMILY MEMBERS WILL REJECT YOU’ and so on and so on; then repeating those ten or fifteen times a night. I’d put money on that garnering public attention.

Besides an easy to miss spoken reference the advert does nothing to tell the general public what links the Alzheimer’s Society and dementia. ‘The wider general public who know little about it’ may be wondering, if this is about dementia then why isn’t the ‘Dementia Society’ taking the lead?

Then there’s the bit ‘... so important we run these emotive campaigns that also highlight the help and hope we provide’. Does the advert do that? As far as I can see the strap line is:

"With dementia you don’t just die once, which is why, at Alzheimer's Society, we'll be with you again and again and again."

But that doesn’t highlight help and hope to me; it says nothing of what the Alzheimer’s Society DOES to be there ‘again and again and again’. To anyone not familiar with dementia, to say you die ‘again and again and again’ may be seen as over egging the pudding, so to speak. You die once. Only once. But dementia hollows you out, strips you of your character and personality, ability to think, and so on. The advert is - to my mind - trying to be too clever in describing the erosion and loss of character, abilities, personal qualities, and so forth.

As an advert it’s obviously quite polished but I’m not quite sure what it delivers. Or that it will gain traction with the intended audience. And I think the failure to mention research, or how to donate, were missed opportunities.
 

Peter58

Registered User
Aug 17, 2022
11
0
The trouble is you don’t really get the choice unless you choose not to watch a channel with adverts. One minute you’re watching something on the TV with your partner with dementia and the next minute you’re watching this without any warning and it causes distress. The warning that it’s something you may wish to avoid is therefore meaningless.
 
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