So, what’s my Pauline been up to today?

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
30,255
0
Bury
As well as the chews suggested you can get granules to mix with water, eg Fybogel, and drink.
Drinking requires a big gulp, you can make ice lollies instead, flavoured versions are available.
Fybogel can be bought OTC with a Hi - Fibre version prescription only.
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,822
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
What Bristol Type?

bristol%20stool%20chart.jpg
Type 7 but hard (no pun intended) to say as because she has often sat/laid in them it is smeared everywhere and get pants off makes it worse.
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,822
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
I also put the stretchy hospital type knickers over the nappy, which stops poo escaping but not wee.

Hi @nitram - the DN wanted me to do the poo sample test on my OH. However, as she is now bedbound, every poo would be type 6 if one is sitting or lying in it before changing, and so test was pointless in our case.
Exactly
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,822
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Watching The Chase prior to the news and Pauline wanders off to the loo then, on return and quite angrily, she retorts, “this was on before today and I’m not watching it again!” Saying nowt about George Gently and Highway to Heaven and just turn to BBC1, ah well.
 

Fugs

Registered User
Feb 16, 2023
104
0
My OH will also tell me that she has seen brand new programmes before, but then she will watch repeats of some programmes multiple times without a comment. "Dogs Behaving Very Badly" is currently very popular. I can't remember the last time I watched a programme that I actually wanted to watch.
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
4,388
0
Victoria, Australia
My OH will also tell me that she has seen brand new programmes before, but then she will watch repeats of some programmes multiple times without a comment. "Dogs Behaving Very Badly" is currently very popular. I can't remember the last time I watched a programme that I actually wanted to watch.
OH has a TV in his study so he watches what he wants and I stay in the living room watching what I want. He likes a lot of those horrible true crime things so we tend to have lovely quiet evenings doing our own thing.
 

Knitandpurl

Registered User
Aug 9, 2021
779
0
Lincolnshire
Can’t help feeling a bit envious there Lawson58, like Fugs I can’t remember the last time I saw something I wanted to watch. Would happily swop a Chase for an George Gently LOL. 🫢
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,822
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Over the past few days there have been toileting accidents almost every day although I suspect there were some I don’t know about as suggested by this morning.
As has become normal and just after I had left the bathroom to do my skincare routine into the bathroom she goes and then I can here her distress although she doesn't ask for help so in I go and yes, pull-ups around her ankles and full but not smeared on her legs Thankfully. Again, as has become routine, I dispose of them in nappy sacks and then wipe and clean with large body wipe. Then it is straightforward showering which in the main she copes with On her own now.
So, an hour and a half later and breakfast done with and just sitting in her chair she suddenly says, “Oh ****.” As she stands up I smell it and she is nearly in tears as she says I’ve poo’d.
Soon cleaned and changed but worried as to why and if Physillium is a mistake so I phoned Continence nurse who said she would get a colleague from Bowel clinic to phone and I got that call within minutes. At the end of the consultation she said she was sending urgent email to GP for a phone consultation and should there be no response by 2pm to phone the GP myself to check email received and read so now watching the clock and listening for phone.
one add on was that while I was on that call her eldest son arrived and so heard part thus allowing me to tell him all in spite of Pauline being adamant he not be told. His reaction was what I would describe as, ‘mild interest!’
What I do know is how exhausting everything is with all the laundry every day, cooking, caring, up and down stairs constantly and not forgetting shopping, all added to the mental challenges of trying to select a pleasing TV programme or answer the constant repeated questions or, even more stressful, trying to get her dressed and ready for an outing/appointment on time.
To be honest I had known it was all coming as of course I have read so many of the various posts on here but that knowledge didn’t prepare me for the actuality of physical exhaustion and constant mental stress that, it seems, is unavoidable.
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
4,388
0
Victoria, Australia
Over the past few days there have been toileting accidents almost every day although I suspect there were some I don’t know about as suggested by this morning.
As has become normal and just after I had left the bathroom to do my skincare routine into the bathroom she goes and then I can here her distress although she doesn't ask for help so in I go and yes, pull-ups around her ankles and full but not smeared on her legs Thankfully. Again, as has become routine, I dispose of them in nappy sacks and then wipe and clean with large body wipe. Then it is straightforward showering which in the main she copes with On her own now.
So, an hour and a half later and breakfast done with and just sitting in her chair she suddenly says, “Oh ****.” As she stands up I smell it and she is nearly in tears as she says I’ve poo’d.
Soon cleaned and changed but worried as to why and if Physillium is a mistake so I phoned Continence nurse who said she would get a colleague from Bowel clinic to phone and I got that call within minutes. At the end of the consultation she said she was sending urgent email to GP for a phone consultation and should there be no response by 2pm to phone the GP myself to check email received and read so now watching the clock and listening for phone.
one add on was that while I was on that call her eldest son arrived and so heard part thus allowing me to tell him all in spite of Pauline being adamant he not be told. His reaction was what I would describe as, ‘mild interest!’
What I do know is how exhausting everything is with all the laundry every day, cooking, caring, up and down stairs constantly and not forgetting shopping, all added to the mental challenges of trying to select a pleasing TV programme or answer the constant repeated questions or, even more stressful, trying to get her dressed and ready for an outing/appointment on time.
To be honest I had known it was all coming as of course I have read so many of the various posts on here but that knowledge didn’t prepare me for the actuality of physical exhaustion and constant mental stress that, it seems, is unavoidable.
I have no idea of how you have coped doing so much, a lot of it decidedly unpleasant. You really can’t keep going on like this.

I have been caring for a long time but I have never had to do what you do. I do know that the mental exhaustion is the worst as no matter how much rest you get physically, it is the thing that eats away at you and utterly destroys you.

A comment on the Physillum, I understand that it needs to be introduced gradually as it can cause a bit of an overreaction initially. Could you do shopping online to reduce a little of the burden.

So what are your thoughts about where you go from here? You must surely have some because you know you need to .🌻
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,822
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
I have no idea of how you have coped doing so much, a lot of it decidedly unpleasant. You really can’t keep going on like this.

I have been caring for a long time but I have never had to do what you do. I do know that the mental exhaustion is the worst as no matter how much rest you get physically, it is the thing that eats away at you and utterly destroys you.

A comment on the Physillum, I understand that it needs to be introduced gradually as it can cause a bit of an overreaction initially. Could you do shopping online to reduce a little of the burden.

So what are your thoughts about where you go from here? You must surely have some because you know you need to .🌻
I phoned GP surgery but they say they haven’t received any email from continence folk but they will review and get back to me but still waiting. My hopes lie on there being a solution via medication or treatment as it just doesn’t seem right or normal the way things are. Of course it may turn out to be a brain issue from Alzheimer’s in which case, again I am guessing, we carry on as we are as getting morning carers in won’t help given there is no timeline to it.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,048
0
South coast
It sounds to me like your wife has become doubly incontinent, which can happen quite quickly.

You cant carry on like this - you will end up burnt out.
I know pauline doesnt want carers (who would?) but I really think you have got to take serious steps to lighten your load.
 

Chizz

Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
3,531
0
Kent
Hi @Agzy

I feel for you, as I have been there and done that countless times.

I think from what has been said that I'm a few years your junior, but it all became enormously tiring physically and mentally, and I didn't want to become a patient. It sounds as if your course is sort of following mine.

Eventually, my OH's frailty, loss of confidence, falling (which always took me anything from 30 to 120 mins to get her back on her feet with the use of the stairs), and fear of falling (so she didn't want to get out of wheelchair to car, or from car to wheelchair (which often took between 40 and 60 mins to persuade her)), meant that she couldn't and wouldn't go out. Then after a fall, and a couple of weeks or so stay in hospital, my OH forgot how to walk, and what with muscle wastage etc couldn't weight bear even if she wanted to which she doesn't! Since then she has been bedbound in bed or via a hoist in a chair.
Disadvantages = not being able to take her out, but advantages = no more risk of falling, no more toilet accidents, as she can't get to a toilet and has to wear nappies.
It all became so tiring, physically and mentally, that I now have 2 carers for three calls per day and they now deal with her personal care changing, etc and I still, of course, do the laundry.

Yes, it costs in money, but saves in my sanity!

As I said I feel for you both. Make sure you look after yourself.
Best wishes, and an arm round your shoulders.
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,161
0
Surrey
Did constipation overflow get ruled out by the GP?

I don’t know about Alzheimer’s so much but I don’t think I’ve picked up it causes diarrhoea alongside the incontinence?
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
30,255
0
Bury
Did constipation overflow get ruled out by the GP?

I don’t know about Alzheimer’s so much but I don’t think I’ve picked up it causes diarrhoea alongside the incontinence?
With my wife it was either overflow or infection.
Aroma can be an indication.
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,822
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Did constipation overflow get ruled out by the GP?

I don’t know about Alzheimer’s so much but I don’t think I’ve picked up it causes diarrhoea alongside the incontinence?
Gp phoned tonight and believes it is overflow but also concerned about Paulines back pain so X-ray organised and appointment made for Bowel examination and I feel so much better from it. Thank you
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,822
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Hi @Agzy

I feel for you, as I have been there and done that countless times.

I think from what has been said that I'm a few years your junior, but it all became enormously tiring physically and mentally, and I didn't want to become a patient. It sounds as if your course is sort of following mine.

Eventually, my OH's frailty, loss of confidence, falling (which always took me anything from 30 to 120 mins to get her back on her feet with the use of the stairs), and fear of falling (so she didn't want to get out of wheelchair to car, or from car to wheelchair (which often took between 40 and 60 mins to persuade her)), meant that she couldn't and wouldn't go out. Then after a fall, and a couple of weeks or so stay in hospital, my OH forgot how to walk, and what with muscle wastage etc couldn't weight bear even if she wanted to which she doesn't! Since then she has been bedbound in bed or via a hoist in a chair.
Disadvantages = not being able to take her out, but advantages = no more risk of falling, no more toilet accidents, as she can't get to a toilet and has to wear nappies.
It all became so tiring, physically and mentally, that I now have 2 carers for three calls per day and they now deal with her personal care changing, etc and I still, of course, do the laundry.

Yes, it costs in money, but saves in my sanity!

As I said I feel for you both. Make sure you look after yourself.
Best wishes, and an arm round your shoulders.
Feel for you @Chizz and yes, I can see my route becoming similar and it is getting more difficult to get her walking although nearby indoor shopping precinct and the likes of Tesco extra gets her walking further than she realises and would normally complain of. She has been referred for wheelchair and I will accept it but with concern about it reducing her walking even further. Thankfully we have lived mainly off my pensions and so she has a goodly amount available for carers etc as and when the time is right and having the weekly companion is the first step towards that, thank you.
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,161
0
Surrey
I’m glad it’s all being followed up @Agzy …..I didn’t sound right that the diarrhoea was just seen as dementia …..be great if there Is some improvement on that front …would help the laundry load..

Would having in a cleaner take a little load from you???