Our magic bitter sweet moments 🥰🥰🥰

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,317
0
Surrey
I think what you say @Chizz about not knowing what the year will bring and where our loved one will be adds to the weight and the stress of the season. It is a marker for us caring. We remember past years and what has been lost….and have no idea about The next year…

I have worked so hard to honour mum’s desire that all her friends got Christmas cards as she can just about sign her name ……all the time sitting with the fact that will probably be the last card they receive personally from her. my generation sadly seem to have stopped doing cards as mum gets way more than me and most of her friends have died 😢😢

my thinking is that family members at distance, don’t ‘hold’ this weight like we do….

And of course now tomorrow it will be my birthday….mum of course will have no idea until she is told….and then of course ….I have no idea whether tmorrow I am a friend or a daughter…..which I happily live with…but it is a ‘weight’ to bear…..

But in keeping with lighter moments I love to recall the carer told me yesterday mum appears to be growing in her skills ‘working’ in the home. They now observe that when sat in the lounge she will repeat instructions given so when for example a carer says ‘John, sit down and have your tea’…..mum will then chirp up and say ’yes John sit down and have your tea’ 🥰🥰 we think her work in learning disabilities is in her mind.

I usually take mum to her room for our time together but the carer said sit in the lounge and see if I get to see it as they all think it’s quite cute!
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,136
0
Southampton
I think what you say @Chizz about not knowing what the year will bring and where our loved one will be adds to the weight and the stress of the season. It is a marker for us caring. We remember past years and what has been lost….and have no idea about The next year…

I have worked so hard to honour mum’s desire that all her friends got Christmas cards as she can just about sign her name ……all the time sitting with the fact that will probably be the last card they receive personally from her. my generation sadly seem to have stopped doing cards as mum gets way more than me and most of her friends have died 😢😢

my thinking is that family members at distance, don’t ‘hold’ this weight like we do….

And of course now tomorrow it will be my birthday….mum of course will have no idea until she is told….and then of course ….I have no idea whether tmorrow I am a friend or a daughter…..which I happily live with…but it is a ‘weight’ to bear…..

But in keeping with lighter moments I love to recall the carer told me yesterday mum appears to be growing in her skills ‘working’ in the home. They now observe that when sat in the lounge she will repeat instructions given so when for example a carer says ‘John, sit down and have your tea’…..mum will then chirp up and say ’yes John sit down and have your tea’ 🥰🥰 we think her work in learning disabilities is in her mind.

I usually take mum to her room for our time together but the carer said sit in the lounge and see if I get to see it as they all think it’s quite cute!
happy birthday to you for tomorrow 🥳 🥳🥳. hope you have a good day as much as you can
 

Chizz

Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
3,786
0
Kent
Many happy returns for tomorrow @sdmhred
So far as circumstances allow, have a great day!🍾🎂


You said it earlier - happy 85th!!!
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,317
0
Surrey
Thanks all for your birthday wishes. It was lovely to wake up and see the messages. I hadn’t really planned the day and so went with the flow….enjoyed a morning walk and then took mum for a push to visit a good friend who lives close to the home. My sister came down in the evening and we enjoyed A takeaway and good old fashioned game of scrabble. I used to play quite often with mum and dad so it was good to open up the board again 😊 mum played on my sisters team and is not with it enough to realise she wasn’t actually playing … but enjoyed being ‘part of it’.She shocked us all at the end by finding a word and put it in the right place.

After all the festivities she’s been super tired and spent all day yesterday in bed. Worried the staff as it was the first time here but I wasn’t surprised and a rest day was quite overdue. She made it out of bed just for lunch today and was washed just in time for supper 🤣🤣

Her car got towed away this morning 😭😭 I had a little cry. So many lovely memories tied up with it. I wanted to shout ‘no leave it’ but managed to restrain myself 🙈🙈 hugely symbolic of a stage finished and gone forever 😭😭

My energies for Christmas remain zero ….presents unbought and cards not written …oh dear
 

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Chizz

Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
3,786
0
Kent
Thanks all for your birthday wishes. It was lovely to wake up and see the messages. I hadn’t really planned the day and so went with the flow….enjoyed a morning walk and then took mum for a push to visit a good friend who lives close to the home. My sister came down in the evening and we enjoyed A takeaway and good old fashioned game of scrabble. I used to play quite often with mum and dad so it was good to open up the board again 😊 mum played on my sisters team and is not with it enough to realise she wasn’t actually playing … but enjoyed being ‘part of it’.She shocked us all at the end by finding a word and put it in the right place.

After all the festivities she’s been super tired and spent all day yesterday in bed. Worried the staff as it was the first time here but I wasn’t surprised and a rest day was quite overdue. She made it out of bed just for lunch today and was washed just in time for supper 🤣🤣

Her car got towed away this morning 😭😭 I had a little cry. So many lovely memories tied up with it. I wanted to shout ‘no leave it’ but managed to restrain myself 🙈🙈 hugely symbolic of a stage finished and gone forever 😭😭

My energies for Christmas remain zero ….presents unbought and cards not written …oh dear
Hi @sdmhred

When you said your mum put a proper word in the right place at Scrabble, I thought you were going to says "words failed me" which would have appropriate for Scrabble!

Don't worry about cards, too late now anyway. Those that are close - family and friends - know you would wish them a merry Christmas even without a card.
Instead, for less close friends/acquaintances etc, try a change of tack. Instead in the new year make a list/rota and phone one every other day or so, and catch up that way, which is nicer, and gives you someone else to talk to.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,136
0
Southampton
Hi @sdmhred

When you said your mum put a proper word in the right place at Scrabble, I thought you were going to says "words failed me" which would have appropriate for Scrabble!

Don't worry about cards, too late now anyway. Those that are close - family and friends - know you would wish them a merry Christmas even without a card.
Instead, for less close friends/acquaintances etc, try a change of tack. Instead in the new year make a list/rota and phone one every other day or so, and catch up that way, which is nicer, and gives you someone else to talk to.
either that all sent a gif to their mobile or email
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,317
0
Surrey
I have now officially given up! BT in their wisdom have not cut off mum’s internet as requested a month ago, but cut off mine 🤯🤯🤯 oh and it’s not as easy as switching it back on….10 working days…..and I am meant to be working so require internet

I think like a person with dementia I am going to take to my bed and stay there…….
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,136
0
Southampton
I have now officially given up! BT in their wisdom have not cut off mum’s internet as requested a month ago, but cut off mine 🤯🤯🤯 oh and it’s not as easy as switching it back on….10 working days…..and I am meant to be working so require internet

I think like a person with dementia I am going to take to my bed and stay there…….
theyve only got to flick a switch! obviously flicked the wrong one. im more for a tortoise and hibernate for the winter. sounds like a plan for me. how can they make a mistake and then not hurry to correct it.
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
30,486
0
Bury
BT in their wisdom have not cut off mum’s internet as requested a month ago, but cut off mine 🤯🤯🤯 oh and it’s not as easy as switching it back on….10 working days
You should have received a 'sorry you are leaving us' notification from your CP (new name for ISP) probably by email and post. That's were the 10 days comes in, it's to give you time to object in case of error or malicious action.
System screwed, net result 10 days wait.

Best, and maybe only, to way to beat system is to email CEO philip.jansen@bt.com and complain, employer doing the same could help even if you are not on a business line.

Don't forget to ask for compensation under Ofcom rules.
 
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sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,317
0
Surrey
Thank you @nitram - that’s such helpful info - thank you! He is now on my hit list as well as the ceo Thames Water.

I really do feel on the edge of coping at the moment 😢😢 These things push you over the edge when you’re already hanging on with finger tips.

My brother and sister have decided we now won’t have Christmas lunch with mum. No-one has asked us what we want 😢😢😢 I have no idea what I want tho 🙈🙈

My best point today was the Smile I got from Elizabeth. She’s next door to mum and is rarely got out of bed but was today for her 90th birthday. Apparently many on mums floor don’t get visitors so I have decided each resident will get a birthday card from us - Elizabeth has no family and our card is the only one Present in her room. She didn’t know what a card was but beamed when I spoke to her 🥰🥰🥰

The other thing I did for myself was to go for a walk when mum was having her wash. It does frustrate me when I visit and then mum has her personal care or wound dressings - both takes ages and I feel a visit is wasted whilst I sit and war y ….so today I had a brain wave - went and left them to it! Not quite finished when I returned but I got some steps in rather than sit like a lemon!

Tomorrow I am due to work. I’m actually hoping I feel ok for it as I think it will be a good distraction ….as to how I practically work without Wi-Fi awaits to be seen 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
 
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nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
30,486
0
Bury
Thank you @nitram - that’s such helpful info - thank you! He is now on my hit list as well as the ceo Thames Water.
You will have to request compensation as there was not a fault to make it automatic, the line was deliberately ceased.
 

Neveradullday!

Registered User
Oct 12, 2022
3,462
0
England
Thank you @nitram - that’s such helpful info - thank you! He is now on my hit list as well as the ceo Thames Water.

I really do feel on the edge of coping at the moment 😢😢 These things push you over the edge when you’re already hanging on with finger tips.

My brother and sister have decided we now won’t have Christmas lunch with mum. No-one has asked us what we want 😢😢😢 I have no idea what I want tho 🙈🙈

My best point today was the Smile I got from Elizabeth. She’s next door to mum and is rarely got out of bed but was today for her 90th birthday. Apparently many on mums floor don’t get visitors so I have decided each resident will get a birthday card from us - Elizabeth has no family and our card is the only one Present in her room. She didn’t know what a card was but beamed when I spoke to her 🥰🥰🥰

Tomorrow I am due to work. I’m actually hoping I feel ok for it as I think it will be a good distraction ….as to how I practically work without Wi-Fi awaits to be seen 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
Christmas can definitely be a mixed blessing, @sdmhred
I'm happy my mum and I have no close relatives left so can just do our own thing! 🙂

BT have been right pillocks - hope you get it sorted soon.