Losing ability to use telephone

[JessN12]

My mum who has Alzheimer's so slowly losing the ability is understand how to speak into the telephone. She presses buttons and accidentally puts it down etc. Its ok with supervision on her end from my Dad but I don't think it will be long before this method of communication isn't so accessible.

The trouble is I don't live very close and regular visits just aren't a viable option. What did others do in this situation, did you just end up not being able to talk to you loved ones very often? It seems a sad reality.

 

[JoannePat]

Hi @JessN12 does she have a mobile phone? Could you speak to her on handsfree? Or maybe even a tablet and call her on facetime? It doesn't have to be video just audio.

I had problems with my mum using a phone full stop so handsfree was perfect. It also meant she could wander around too.

Jxx

 

[backin]

Echo show is brilliant if they have internet

 

[PammieA]

I have the same issues with my mum, she finds it difficult to use a mobile phone.
We used to communicate daily with messages and calls, but mum rarely messages and she can't answer or call from her mobile.
Luckily they still have a landline and Dad answers it, but I do worry how I would communicate with mum, if Dad isn't around.

 

[leny connery]

a neighbour uses alexa, so her husband could just tell alexa to call her. Not sure how to set it up but the phone where my app is installed seems to respond and make a call to me (accidentally..I was surprised)

 

[PammieA]

That's a great idea Leny, unfortunately my Dad (86) has no interest or ability in using such technology.
I did get mum an Alexa but she got frustrated trying to use it, she kept forgetting the name of it, or unplugged it, still expecting it to work. But thanks for your suggestion.

 

[backin]

That's a great idea Leny, unfortunately my Dad (86) has no interest or ability in using such technology.
I did get mum an Alexa but she got frustrated trying to use it, she kept forgetting the name of it, or unplugged it, still expecting it to work. But thanks for your suggestion.

I changed the wake word to computer.

 

[PammieA]

Thanks, I didn't know you could do that.

 

[leny connery]

That's a great idea Leny, unfortunately my Dad (86) has no interest or ability in using such technology.
I did get mum an Alexa but she got frustrated trying to use it, she kept forgetting the name of it, or unplugged it, still expecting it to work. But thanks for your suggestion.

totally understand, trial and error, trial and error, so tiring. But, what can we do else?

 

[Blissy]

Have a look at the Amazon echo show. It does various things but can be used for video calls. It is freestanding so no trying to hold a phone. I think if someone set it up for him your Dad could possibly work it. We have a Facebook portal which means video calls can be made via tv but sadly discontinued.

 

[backin]

The good thing about the echo show is the drop in function which means you can get in touch and see what's going on without them having to do anything else. Worked well with mum for quite a while before we had to concede and place her in a home.
The microphone is good enough to hear across the room though not best placed by the TV as the sound from that can make it difficult if they are unable to turn the TV off to speak .
I had a laminated card with the words computer call Angie next to it. I think mum did once or twice but she was always scared of anything technical before az.
Bonus for visitors is listening to music, watch videos on YouTube and general nonsense like listening to jokes or asking random stuff.
It also helped to some extent with dosett box medication when she was able to show me the meds in the boxes.
Like anything else, the usefulness decreased though I was able to observe that she was ok.
I now find it useful for listening to the radio, audio books among other things.

 

[JudyA]

My husband has never been good with technology and even though he has a very simple mobile with an emergency button which calls my number, he doesn't want to bother with it. He can answer incoming calls but no longer knows how to make outgoing ones. I just get scared about what he'd do and what would happen if I suddenly got ill!

 

[canary]

I just get scared about what he'd do and what would happen if I suddenly got ill

I think this is a valid concern
Someone on here suggested that the carer could wear an emergency button

 

[leny connery]

My husband has never been good with technology and even though he has a very simple mobile with an emergency button which calls my number, he doesn't want to bother with it. He can answer incoming calls but no longer knows how to make outgoing ones. I just get scared about what he'd do and what would happen if I suddenly got ill!

we all do. worry what if we are the ones falling ill or worse

 

[PammieA]

Yes I totally agree, it's all very scary.
I rely on my Dad answering my calls on the landline now, if I don't call them, they don't call me. It's frustrating and a worry, especially as I live 300 miles away.

 

[Blissy]

Have you got someone you could arrange to text each morning and ask them to call for help if you haven't done so by a certain time. I also take the key out of the lock of one of my doors and have a spare outside so someone could get in if I was in trouble. Luckily my daughter lives nearby but I know neighbours would help if I asked.

 

[Felinefan66]

Yes I totally agree, it's all very scary.
I rely on my Dad answering my calls on the landline now, if I don't call them, they don't call me. It's frustrating and a worry, especially as I live 300 miles away.

I totally totally appreciate your concern. I am 250 miles away from my father and the same as you, we can't visit as often as we should. Dad lives alone, has a landline, a very basic corded phone, which we call him on. It's in the dining room so if he's in the lounge with all doors shut, he doesn't hear it. (I've suggested keeping the doors open but that falls on deaf ears and there's no phone socket in the lounge.) He did have walkabout phones but every time there was a storm, it would blow out the base unit so to avoid that we just got him the corded phone otherwise I would tell him to take the phone into the lounge with him - but of course, he wouldn't remember to do that anyway.

He does have a mobile but it's never charged. We have told him to keep it plugged in but again, falls on deaf ears. He refuses to have the internet, has never had any interest whatsoever in technology and really, he abhors it so no chance of having Alexa or anything internet connected.

So.. so far Dad is still fine using the phone. I call him once a day, he calls me perhaps once a week or less (when he remembers). I try to call him when I think he's going to be in the kitchen (dining room) either finishing dinner, or getting ready for bed so that's usually about 9pm. In the past, if I've not been able to reach him for a few days then I've had to call his landlord or neighbour to see if he's ok! He of course totally oblivious about my anxiety.

I eventually went to see his neighbour and kindly asked for their contact details, and shared mine, and asked them to call me if there was anything unusual, i.e. curtains not open by a certain time (bedroom and lounge), or car gone for a long time. It's reassuring to know what they will keep an eye out and alert me if needed. It's a 5-6 hours drive down to Dads'.. probably same as you. Not easy, is it.

 

[PammieA]

Thanks Blissy and Felinefan, it's great to hear from you in a similar situation.
I do what's app my Dad every morning and he usually responds fairly quickly, so that's reassuring. He uses his mobile for messages which is good.

In the last few weeks I have managed to meet one of their neighbours, we have exchanged numbers and she is someone both mum & Dad like, which is a bonus. She is also you get than them & me!
She has started popping in every few days and then gives me an update.
But it is definitely not easy being so far away.

 

[Felinefan66]

Thanks Blissy and Felinefan, it's great to hear from you in a similar situation.
I do what's app my Dad every morning and he usually responds fairly quickly, so that's reassuring. He uses his mobile for messages which is good.

In the last few weeks I have managed to meet one of their neighbours, we have exchanged numbers and she is someone both mum & Dad like, which is a bonus. She is also you get than them & me!
She has started popping in every few days and then gives me an update.
But it is definitely not easy being so far away.

Ah, it's good you have a neighbour to pop in. That's very helpful and gives you that reassurance.

Dad's neighbour pops by occasionally and they're aware of his situation so hopefully they'll keep me informed if anything concerns them.

 

[PammieA]

It's great to have neighbours support, but I feel so guilty it's not me there to help!