Caught in a financial trap and grieving

[velademar]

Sorry this is a long post but i need to write this all down and hope someone has some words of advice?
My 73 year old husband of 40 years has behavioural frontotemporal dementia, been getting worse these last few months quite quickly. Ive been caring for him for several years but had reached burn out frankly. He fell downstairs ended up in hospital and although he wasn't badly hurt, they decided with his dementia, mobility, double incontinence,cognition and behavioural issues that he couldn't come home as his falls risk was too high, and his issues too complex for me to manage, even with a care package. So he has been in a care home for 6 weeks now and I'm really grieving. Even though it has been hard I miss him so much. He has settled very well and I visit of course, but I've never lived alone and its horrid. We are self pay at the moment but his savings will only last 6 months where he is, so social services will have to do an assessment and no doubt want to move him to somewhere cheaper. Where he is they can cope with his complex needs but these days it's all about money not best interests. So I'm stuck in a large 4 bedroom house on my own which would be lovely for a family ( we never had kids ourselves) But if I sell, half of the proceeds will be my husbands and will have to go towards funding his care, and there won't be enough to buy me somewhere else. Or indeed pay for any care i might need in the future. I feel I'm stuck in a trap, and am so sad that everything we worked for all our lives will end up going to pay for care. I'm also worried that they will.move him and unsettle him. I don't know who to talk to professionally about this so welcome any experiences from you kind folks on this forum. Thank you x

 

[Rayreadynow]

Most peoples inclination would be to stay where you are used too being. He maybe entitled to Continuing Health Care.

 

[My Mum's Daughter]

Sorry this is a long post but i need to write this all down and hope someone has some words of advice?
My 73 year old husband of 40 years has behavioural frontotemporal dementia, been getting worse these last few months quite quickly. Ive been caring for him for several years but had reached burn out frankly. He fell downstairs ended up in hospital and although he wasn't badly hurt, they decided with his dementia, mobility, double incontinence,cognition and behavioural issues that he couldn't come home as his falls risk was too high, and his issues too complex for me to manage, even with a care package. So he has been in a care home for 6 weeks now and I'm really grieving. Even though it has been hard I miss him so much. He has settled very well and I visit of course, but I've never lived alone and its horrid. We are self pay at the moment but his savings will only last 6 months where he is, so social services will have to do an assessment and no doubt want to move him to somewhere cheaper. Where he is they can cope with his complex needs but these days it's all about money not best interests. So I'm stuck in a large 4 bedroom house on my own which would be lovely for a family ( we never had kids ourselves) But if I sell, half of the proceeds will be my husbands and will have to go towards funding his care, and there won't be enough to buy me somewhere else. Or indeed pay for any care i might need in the future. I feel I'm stuck in a trap, and am so sad that everything we worked for all our lives will end up going to pay for care. I'm also worried that they will.move him and unsettle him. I don't know who to talk to professionally about this so welcome any experiences from you kind folks on this forum. Thank you x

I think it works so that if you sell (made up figures) a 4 bed for £300,000 and buy a 2 bed in joint names for £200,000, the £100,000 profit is split. So £50,000 would go towards his care and the balance would be yours. Please call the helpline for advise.

 

[Rayreadynow]

I think it works so that if you sell (made up figures) a 4 bed for £300,000 and buy a 2 bed in joint names for £200,000, the £100,000 profit is split. So £50,000 would go towards his care and the balance would be yours. Please call the helpline for advise.

Erm I dont agree...Using your 'made up figures' I am assuming it would be a straight £300,000 profit i.e. £150,000 each. So it would be £150,000 that would go towards care and unlikely that you could invest any of that into a property. And none of this can be done without an LPA and if not in place now could be very difficult to get one appproved. However the 'joint names' purchase of another property was covered in a previous post indicating that you would need an independent person to represent the partners interests :

Can I sell jointly owned home whilst husband in care home?

Apologies for starting a new thread on this subject. I did find information on another thread from early 2022 but thread was so long - and mainly about allowances - that I felt my question would be lost! My husband has bvFTD and went into a nursing home in 2021. We are self funded and so far...

forum.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[My Mum's Daughter]

Erm I dont agree...Using your 'made up figures' I am assuming it would be a straight £300,000 profit i.e. £150,000 each. So it would be £150,000 that would go towards care and unlikely that you could invest any of that into a property. And none of this can be done without an LPA and if not in place now could be very difficult to get one appproved. However the 'joint names' purchase of another property was covered in a previous post indicating that you would need an independent person to represent the partners interests :

Can I sell jointly owned home whilst husband in care home?

Apologies for starting a new thread on this subject. I did find information on another thread from early 2022 but thread was so long - and mainly about allowances - that I felt my question would be lost! My husband has bvFTD and went into a nursing home in 2021. We are self funded and so far...

forum.alzheimers.org.uk

Many thanks for the link to the thread which backs up my comment.

 

[velademar]

Many thanks for the link to the thread which backs up my comment.

Thank you all, it seems things are actually worse than I thought as I was under the assumption that with LPA I could sell the house.we were obviously badly advised at the time. However we are sole reciprocal attorneys as we have no children or close family, our solicitor is a replacement attorney for both of us, but in this case I don't think that helps as I am the active attorney for my husband and I couldn't sign twice. An application to COP would take months so selling and buying in a chain would be a problem. Does anyone know how long a trusteeship lasts for? Maybe I could get it done now so it's ready for when it's needed?

 

[thistlejak]

@velademar - As you have a replacement attorney listed on your LPA - I would double check with a solicitor and/or the OPG as 'they' should be able to act for your husband in this particular instance- it would depend on the wording of the LPA.
With regards to trusteeship - once granted it replaces the original trustee and lasts until it is changed again - so unless you go through the whole system again , it last for ever for that property. Not sure how it would work if you buy something else as we just replaced MIL & FIL with ourselves ( we were already Deputies) and sold their house.

 

[JaxG]

My understanding is that you can sell, whatever you buy would be in both names, and half of any money left over, over £23.5k would go towards your husband's care. From October 2025 the threshold will go up to £100k, would it be worth waiting a while for things to settle?

 

[My Mum's Daughter]

My understanding is that you can sell, whatever you buy would be in both names, and half of any money left over, over £23.5k would go towards your husband's care. From October 2025 the threshold will go up to £100k, would it be worth waiting a while for things to settle?

£100K is the upper threshold from which you'll still have to pay a considerable amount of care home fees....that is if the new scheme isn't delayed yet again.

It might still be worth waiting; only considerable research would tell.

 

[Sirena]

@velademar When your husband's funds run out Social Services may move him, but they may not. Unless he is in a particularly expensive care home, they may struggle to find somewhere cheaper which can meet his needs.

Last year my mother moved from self-funding in a care home to local authority funding. I was concerned they would move her, but the financial manager at the CH pointed out there are very few LA owned CHs now, and other privately owned CHs were unlikely to be cheaper and may not accept her anyway. He was right, the LA is funding my mother in her original placement.

I know it is horrible to have this hanging over you, but this could turn out alright without you having to release further funds.

 

[Briege]

Sorry this is a long post but i need to write this all down and hope someone has some words of advice?
My 73 year old husband of 40 years has behavioural frontotemporal dementia, been getting worse these last few months quite quickly. Ive been caring for him for several years but had reached burn out frankly. He fell downstairs ended up in hospital and although he wasn't badly hurt, they decided with his dementia, mobility, double incontinence,cognition and behavioural issues that he couldn't come home as his falls risk was too high, and his issues too complex for me to manage, even with a care package. So he has been in a care home for 6 weeks now and I'm really grieving. Even though it has been hard I miss him so much. He has settled very well and I visit of course, but I've never lived alone and its horrid. We are self pay at the moment but his savings will only last 6 months where he is, so social services will have to do an assessment and no doubt want to move him to somewhere cheaper. Where he is they can cope with his complex needs but these days it's all about money not best interests. So I'm stuck in a large 4 bedroom house on my own which would be lovely for a family ( we never had kids ourselves) But if I sell, half of the proceeds will be my husbands and will have to go towards funding his care, and there won't be enough to buy me somewhere else. Or indeed pay for any care i might need in the future. I feel I'm stuck in a trap, and am so sad that everything we worked for all our lives will end up going to pay for care. I'm also worried that they will.move him and unsettle him. I don't know who to talk to professionally about this so welcome any experiences from you kind folks on this forum. Thank you x

Get legal advice. A lady I know sold the family home and land when her husband went into care. She was able to buy a smaller home for herself (in joint names) and then the balance was divided 50/50 between herself and the care home. She said that legally she was entitled to be rehomed first although the new property had still to be in joint names.

 

[Alisongs]

It's a minefield combined with whackamole!

 

[maggie6445]

£100K is the upper threshold from which you'll still have to pay a considerable amount of care home fees....that is if the new scheme isn't delayed yet again.

It might still be worth waiting; only considerable research would tell.

I think there will be a lifetime care cost of £86000 from October 25 if the scheme is introduced. Food/ expenses excluded but it was suggested they would be around state pension amount .

 

[Rayreadynow]

I believe the Government Bill which the £100,000 upper threshold was included in was voted down by the Conservative Government although the new government seems to be committed to it. But as far as I know it is still not law and I would imagine local councils may have concerns and governments seem to out these things out to consultations with local councils.