Feeling so desperate my mum is 93 with mixed dementia lives alone with carers 4 times a day recently stopped sleeping at night and then totally confused the next day but yesterday was the worst yet went to the door shouting for help at 7am ended up with neighbours delivery driver all trying to help them calling me and paramedics being called. The confusion lasted all day my husband had to come home and lost a days money I lost a lot of my sight last year and so cannot drive so not easy to dash round anymore. I think the time has come to put her in a home I can’t go on like this paramedic did referral to social services and care company also but no one called if I could just get her in respite at least. I am an only child so have no other help. I do not have power of attorney another problem and mum owns the house any advice would really be appreciated.
How to get Mum in care home with no LPA in place?
- Thread starter sallycop
- Start date
I’m sure other people on here will be able to offer more accurate advice with me. If your Mum owns her own home and is willing to go into a care home you could start making arrangements and looking at suitable places. Her home would have to be sold to pay for her care unless she has other funds available. Social services won’t get involved if your Mum is able to fund her care and everything will fall to you. In the case of your Mum being unwilling to consider a care home it will be a matter of waiting for a crisis to develop and hopefully she’ll be taken to hospital. When this happens make it very clear to social services that you aren’t able to provide the support your Mum needs. This will sound very harsh but the only way services will step in is if you back off and basically force them to. The paramedics may have taken your Mum to hospital if you and your husband hadn’t been around. I’m an only child too and in the precarious position of no work = no pay. I was fortunate that I live a long distance from my Mum otherwise so I wasn’t in a position to pop round. I hope you get something sorted out.
It is made more complicated by the fact that no-one has POA. Yes, her home (assuming she owns it) would have to be sold to pay for fees, but you dont have any authority to sell it.
If your mum still has capacity to sign a POA then do it ASAP, but it rather sounds to me as though she does not. If she has lost capacity then the thing to do is to apply to the Court of Protection for deputyship. This is more of a faff than POA, but will give you similar authority. It also takes some time to go through the process, so if you are willing to take this on, then start the ball rolling now. If you dont want to or cannot do it, then eventually SS will apply and the Court of Protection will appoint a panel solicitor as deputy.
If your mum still has capacity to sign a POA then do it ASAP, but it rather sounds to me as though she does not. If she has lost capacity then the thing to do is to apply to the Court of Protection for deputyship. This is more of a faff than POA, but will give you similar authority. It also takes some time to go through the process, so if you are willing to take this on, then start the ball rolling now. If you dont want to or cannot do it, then eventually SS will apply and the Court of Protection will appoint a panel solicitor as deputy.
Thanks everyone yes she does own her own home and yep I know it will all go to pay for her care she would never give me poa as she was concerned I would put her in a home she has no capacity to do anything now! I don’t feel mentally strong enough to apply for deputyship at the moment. But care company and paramedics are both concerned she is now at risk they spke about getting cameras or alarm for door but she wouldn’t hear the alarm and would ignore it anyway. A sleeping tablet might help but paramedics say they won’t prescribe as she may fall! But surely her being awake for nearly 2 days refusing all food and only a small amount of fluid is more of a risk!
Agree the LA have a duty of care, if your mum lacks capacity and with no LPA or deputyship in place a best interests meeting should be called to decide the way forward.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
Making decisions for a person with dementia who lacks mental capacity
If a person with dementia lacks mental capacity to make a decision, the decision may have to be made for them. This decision should always be made in the person's best interests.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
Thanks had assessment with the social worker which was helpful also doctor prescribed her
mirtazapine
to help her go to sleep at night if she sleeps I am hopeful she won’t have to go into care just yet 🤞🏻🤞🏻. But if that doesn’t work they will get some respite sorted and review all care package.I have just been granted Deputyship by COP and thought I would have the authority to sell mum’s house when the time came as she has no capacity, but I do not. I have to apply for a further Court Order to do so I’m not sure if this is the normal process or whether I should have stated clearly on the initial application that this is what would ultimately have to happen so it’s a bit of a pain. The process of obtaining a Deputyship also took 9 months and that’s with an application to expedite! Shocking amount of time! I wonder if the grant took so long because I did it myself and not through a solicitor. In hindsight I would certainly go through a solicitor and recoup the expenses when the application was granted. Now I have to “serve” my mother with the papers which is going to cause a rumpus…as if things aren’t difficult enough!
Yes, Im afraid that you do have to specifically request the authority to sell the house in the original application, otherwise it is not automatically granted and you have (as you have found) to apply again to the CoP.
You may be able to fast-track the application if the funding is needed quickly
Thanks luckily we have found a local authority home that is lovely so Mum can go in on a deferred basis. The solicitor is going to apply for the house to be sold in the initial application. I can’t believe how long it all takes but just relieved we have found somewhere that I hope Mum will settle in.
