my husband also has vascular dementia diagnosed 4 years ago. we have good and bad but good is more. what stage he is, i dont know. he goes to mens shed 2 mornings a week which gives me a break. he can wash and dress with help although he sometimes forgets. he used to love cooking but he really struggles especially with timing and temperature. he struggles with sequencing and logic. he doesnt link things such as an empty bread packet needs to be put in the bed, he doesnt link the both. i do his meds. he does doze quite a lot and can panic andf get into a right state sometimes if he didnt manage what he wanted.I am caring for my spouse who is in the middle stages of vascular dimentia. Some days are better than others. I was wondering if anyone is caring for someone with the same diagnosis and how they are coping? Thanks.
Hubby was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia in January, although we knew something was wrong for about three years.I am caring for my spouse who is in the middle stages of vascular dimentia. Some days are better than others. I was wondering if anyone is caring for someone with the same diagnosis and how they are coping? Thanks.
Sounds a lot like my husband. He acts helpless when we are alone but yet when we are in front of others, he acts as though he’s fine. I find it very frustrating. He never fixes himself anything to eat. He totally depends on me for meals medicine absolutely anything you can think of. I’ve been married to him for 53 years and a lot of it is my fault because I’ve always catered to him and never minded one moment of it. But now that it has been become necessary, I find myself annoyed don’t know if that’s normal or not. he is still a very good natured, but spends most of his time in front of the TV where I know it is increasingly harder for him to follow a movie or a story. When we do watch a movie together, I stop the show every 15 minutes to make sure he is following the story. He sometimes ask me to stop it and explain to him what is going on and it breaks my heart . he always pried himself being well groomed, and now he doesn’t seem to care how his hair looks or if his clothes match. It may seem strange to point that out, but you’d have to know the man to know how out of character that is. So these are just some thoughts that are going through my head right now, and wanted to share them in case anyone else is feeling or experiencing the same. The sun will come out tomorrow and things will be brighter. I love him so.I think mines now middle stage. Some days better than others like most on here.
He can dress although needs a bit of help with jumper and socks. Won't wash, thinks wet wipe is ok. Real struggle to get him to shower. Told him this morning he needs to have a good wash as smells but his reply was. He doesn't.
Sits in front of TV nodding off most days. Totally uninterested in doing anything apart from getting up to pee or get a biscuit/crisps/sandwich, leaving me to clean up after him.
Seems totally oblivious to me sitting in same room at times.
BUT totally different in front of others. Does the 'host mode'
Hello @Jackandme I have been married over 50yrs too. I understand what you are going through as my husband is similar, although he reads a lot now and can still follow TV. OK. Kitchen "slackness" and hygiene issues are a real concern. His sleeping late ruins the day.Sounds a lot like my husband. He acts helpless when we are alone but yet when we are in front of others, he acts as though he’s fine. I find it very frustrating. He never fixes himself anything to eat. He totally depends on me for meals medicine absolutely anything you can think of. I’ve been married to him for 53 years and a lot of it is my fault because I’ve always catered to him and never minded one moment of it. But now that it has been become necessary, I find myself annoyed don’t know if that’s normal or not. he is still a very good natured, but spends most of his time in front of the TV where I know it is increasingly harder for him to follow a movie or a story. When we do watch a movie together, I stop the show every 15 minutes to make sure he is following the story. He sometimes ask me to stop it and explain to him what is going on and it breaks my heart . he always pried himself being well groomed, and now he doesn’t seem to care how his hair looks or if his clothes match. It may seem strange to point that out, but you’d have to know the man to know how out of character that is. So these are just some thoughts that are going through my head right now, and wanted to share them in case anyone else is feeling or experiencing the same. The sun will come out tomorrow and things will be brighter. I love him so.
My husband has middle stage . It’s very difficult. Insurance does not cover long term care. Seems it takes a lot out of us who are married to those with the disease. I have been able to hire a couple of ladies to sit with him if needed. I know they will help as things get worse. Of course the issues are always financial. How can I afford to pay for help and it’s impossible to pay for care facility. No insurance company will take on this. It is stressful. I feel for you. I don’t know how to cope with what’s coming. As you know we get little sleep and stress through the roof.I am caring for my spouse who is in the middle stages of vascular dimentia. Some days are better than others. I was wondering if anyone is caring for someone with the same diagnosis and how they are coping? Thanks.
Hello @Uboo and welcome to the forum. Because of your reference to a care facility I am assuming that you are US based and the way finances work there are very different from here in the UK. I have attached a link to the Alzheimer's Association in the US and it might be an idea to contact them to see if they can give your any advice regarding finances.My husband has middle stage . It’s very difficult. Insurance does not cover long term care. Seems it takes a lot out of us who are married to those with the disease. I have been able to hire a couple of ladies to sit with him if needed. I know they will help as things get worse. Of course the issues are always financial. How can I afford to pay for help and it’s impossible to pay for care facility. No insurance company will take on this. It is stressful. I feel for you. I don’t know how to cope with what’s coming. As you know we get little sleep and stress through the roof.
I hope you can find a way to cope with this disease.
Sounds like you made a rod for your own back there. I think we do things in relationships without thinking, because its love. But when it becomes 'expected' its harder so think its quite normal to feel annoyed. Mine's like yours, watches TV most of day but don't think he is really following it. He falls asleep and snores so I cough or make a noise, then he is fully awake saying he just closed his eyes for a minuteSounds a lot like my husband. He acts helpless when we are alone but yet when we are in front of others, he acts as though he’s fine. I find it very frustrating. He never fixes himself anything to eat. He totally depends on me for meals medicine absolutely anything you can think of. I’ve been married to him for 53 years and a lot of it is my fault because I’ve always catered to him and never minded one moment of it. But now that it has been become necessary, I find myself annoyed don’t know if that’s normal or not. he is still a very good natured, but spends most of his time in front of the TV where I know it is increasingly harder for him to follow a movie or a story. When we do watch a movie together, I stop the show every 15 minutes to make sure he is following the story. He sometimes ask me to stop it and explain to him what is going on and it breaks my heart . he always pried himself being well groomed, and now he doesn’t seem to care how his hair looks or if his clothes match. It may seem strange to point that out, but you’d have to know the man to know how out of character that is. So these are just some thoughts that are going through my head right now, and wanted to share them in case anyone else is feeling or experiencing the same. The sun will come out tomorrow and things will be brighter. I love him so.
Hygiene issues, yes a real problem! Had to laugh about the lights. Mine always used to have a thing about leaving lights on but now often forgets to turn them off.Hello @Jackandme I have been married over 50yrs too. I understand what you are going through as my husband is similar, although he reads a lot now and can still follow TV. OK. Kitchen "slackness" and hygiene issues are a real concern. His sleeping late ruins the day.
Instead of turning off the light in the garage he switches off the socket in the kitchen which it shares with the microwave! I check with him to see if he has done it outside. He says he has, but not so. He leaves taps on too. I am concerned for safety.
The other day he couldn't find his PJs so emptied the wrong drawer, piled everything on his chair and went to bed in his joggers.
How to keep sane?!
It is all a big learning curve for us.Hygiene issues, yes a real problem! Had to laugh about the lights. Mine always used to have a thing about leaving lights on but now often forgets to turn them off.
'How to keep sane?' Think we'd all like to know the answer to that one.