Its a tough decision @Dimpsy and I think it is made all the harder because dementia means that they are unable to understand why care is needed, so there is no alterative than to go behind their back - you have to make that decision on their behalf.
As everyone has said, if she moves into a care home you wont stop caring, it will just be in a different way. I found there was always things to sort out for mum even after she had moved. What I did find, though, was that I became her daughter again. I could take her out for tea and cake, to the park to feed th ducks, to push her wheelchair along the prom and watch the sea or to look at things at the garden centre and she became a whole lot of fun again. I suspect that a lot of this was because I was no longer making her do things that she didnt want to do - like get washed and changed, or throw out food that had gone off, and I wasnt constantly nagging about her eye drops and pills and telling her that she couldnt do things like go to the shops that wernt there anymore.
Im sure you will find an answer
xx
As everyone has said, if she moves into a care home you wont stop caring, it will just be in a different way. I found there was always things to sort out for mum even after she had moved. What I did find, though, was that I became her daughter again. I could take her out for tea and cake, to the park to feed th ducks, to push her wheelchair along the prom and watch the sea or to look at things at the garden centre and she became a whole lot of fun again. I suspect that a lot of this was because I was no longer making her do things that she didnt want to do - like get washed and changed, or throw out food that had gone off, and I wasnt constantly nagging about her eye drops and pills and telling her that she couldnt do things like go to the shops that wernt there anymore.
Im sure you will find an answer
xx