I agree that there is no such thing as a 'perfect carer'.
I have cared for my wife of 57 years for the last 10 or so, firstly with heart problems, pacemaker, then diagnosed with vascular dementia, then major surgery which resulted in a stoma and recently diagnosed with arthritis in both hips and lower spine.
Fortunately both the heart problems and stoma are stable as far as they can be, but the arthritis is seriously impinging on mobility which has put an added burden on my day.
So how do I cope with all of this, I moan to any and every body, surprisingly it helps.
My stock answer to the question " how are you" is 'well I woke up this morning, so that's a plus, but it may and will go down hill from there'.
There are the other 'little' problems that have arisen during the pandemic, PPE. I need gloves when changing the stoma pouch and from day one they were rarer than hens teeth, to the extent that some I tried to order from my normal supplier, back in April 2020, and told it would be November before delivery. So I moaned and scrounged a lot and finally someone in the local council took note, not just from me I hasten to add, who now supply PPE to unpaid carers, and will continue to do so until March next year, which is a godsend and one less problem to worry about.
I cannot wait for 'proper' respite care to become available again, we were offered 'isolated' care, remain in room, no mixing or outside exercise, which would have been disastrous for her .
So rant over, there is not such person as a perfect carer, its a myth.
So carers just grit their teeth, force a smile and carry on, waiting for that golden moment when they can escape for an hour or so and do something for themselves without feeling guilty.