I was awakened early by my partner and one of my first thoughts was about those of you who post here. The words that ran through y mind were, "you are awesome." I just want to share that thought with you. So many of you have been providing care and support for many years and I am only at it for a year. So, I think you are awesome.
You are awesome
- Thread starter chridgets
- Start date
My first thoughts when I read your lovely post were....
Awesome, not really. I think a lot of us "just get on with it". Nothing awesome in that.
Then I had a think about what you had written
I know what you mean.
Some of the situations I read on here, I too am in awe that the carer copes.
One of the good things about this site is that you get to hear about all sorts of scenarios
One bad thing about this site, when this journey is still new, you get to hear about all sorts of scenarios that may never happen to you.
Another good thing about this site is that if it does happen to you, you know you are not alone.
Awesome - I agree with you. We are all awesome
I am a carer for my Mum.
I don't feel what I do is awesome, I hope that one day I will be able to look back and say 'I'm glad I did it''
The people that don't get cross are awesome
The people that don't get frustrated are awesome
The people that don't ( just sometimes ) get frustrated are awesome
The people that don't think ''I cant do this any more'' are awesome
The people that answer the same question over and over and over....are awesome
The rest of us are just human beings, doing what we can to make the lives of those we love as good as they can be. And are they ever? No, they could always be better , but hey ho!
I don't feel what I do is awesome, I hope that one day I will be able to look back and say 'I'm glad I did it''
The people that don't get cross are awesome
The people that don't get frustrated are awesome
The people that don't ( just sometimes ) get frustrated are awesome
The people that don't think ''I cant do this any more'' are awesome
The people that answer the same question over and over and over....are awesome
The rest of us are just human beings, doing what we can to make the lives of those we love as good as they can be. And are they ever? No, they could always be better , but hey ho!
Yay, recognition at last !
I'll tell you someone who IS awesome, Chris - YOU. And everyone else who is at the 'coal face', so to speak.
Yes, all of you who DO get frustrated, angry, sad, distressed, feel trapped, and yet still do it, day after day after day.
And anyone who simply reaches the end of their rope and admits 'defeat' (for want of a better word) after doing the above for ages and ages.
YOU ARE ALL AWESOME AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT.
And the most awesome one of all, naturally, is my lovely, wonderful dad whose devotion to my poor mam knows no bounds.
xxxxx
!I'll tell you someone who IS awesome, Chris - YOU. And everyone else who is at the 'coal face', so to speak.
Yes, all of you who DO get frustrated, angry, sad, distressed, feel trapped, and yet still do it, day after day after day.
And anyone who simply reaches the end of their rope and admits 'defeat' (for want of a better word) after doing the above for ages and ages.
YOU ARE ALL AWESOME AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT.
And the most awesome one of all, naturally
, is my lovely, wonderful dad whose devotion to my poor mam knows no bounds.xxxxx
Nice to see a comment like yours 2jays, There's nothing awesome about caring for the person you love. It is so maddening to keep seeing; "everyone is different" on here thank God for that, as 2jays writes "a lot of us just get on with it." For a whole host of reasons many can't.
To have cared for my wife all they way on my own in our own home has made me feel more an outsider now, than I have ever felt all my life. I've never felt or can feel part of society, and that no doubt is why I feel it's normal to love your spouse more than yourself.
Is it any wonder that when a doctor said to me: "I think you do a wonderful job in caring for your wife"? He appeared surprised when I was upset and replied: "No I don't, don't dogs take care of their pups."
I'm not sure I belong here.
To have cared for my wife all they way on my own in our own home has made me feel more an outsider now, than I have ever felt all my life. I've never felt or can feel part of society, and that no doubt is why I feel it's normal to love your spouse more than yourself.
Is it any wonder that when a doctor said to me: "I think you do a wonderful job in caring for your wife"? He appeared surprised when I was upset and replied: "No I don't, don't dogs take care of their pups."
I'm not sure I belong here.
Padraig, I'm so sorry that you are upset about this thread, but I must confess that I don't really understand why? That sounds insensitive of me - I don't mean to be, truly - but am puzzled by your post.
I don't love myself all that much, and I love my husband much more. I would die for my children. I love my parents and will do anything I can to help their situation. I think all that is normal.
What was it about the doctor's words that upset you so much? Was it because he referred to looking after your wife as a job?
I'm so sorry that I don't understand. I am not in your shoes and only know the little bit of your life that you have shared here.
I don't think 8'm explaining myself very well, so I will stop.
Best wishes to you, Padraig.
I don't love myself all that much, and I love my husband much more. I would die for my children. I love my parents and will do anything I can to help their situation. I think all that is normal.
What was it about the doctor's words that upset you so much? Was it because he referred to looking after your wife as a job?
I'm so sorry that I don't understand. I am not in your shoes and only know the little bit of your life that you have shared here.
I don't think 8'm explaining myself very well, so I will stop.
Best wishes to you, Padraig.
College Girl,
Your post brought to mind a recent email I received from a man in Australia. It so happened he was one of the very few people who had an identical start in life as I. His solution to coping with ever day questions about school, family life etc was to evade the subjects by excusing himself, just as I did until recently.
He like I was sentenced by the courts to serve 14 years detention from the age of two to 16, during which time we were used to provide free labour for the state. We witnessed every form of abuse and some deaths. That life was normal to us, as we knew nothing of life in the outside world. There's little point in going on about it, as most information on the subject can now be found on the internet.
The point I make is that when the few like me, find the love of another human it is all consuming and you feel very lucky to have someone in your life to care for. It would take a book to explain our mind set and I've written three so far. My next is devoted to Alzheimer's from a unique perspective.
Sorry, but it bothers me when people tell me things are impossible. As you say you've not walked in my shoes. Some of us are very different and it can be turned into an advantage.
Your post brought to mind a recent email I received from a man in Australia. It so happened he was one of the very few people who had an identical start in life as I. His solution to coping with ever day questions about school, family life etc was to evade the subjects by excusing himself, just as I did until recently.
He like I was sentenced by the courts to serve 14 years detention from the age of two to 16, during which time we were used to provide free labour for the state. We witnessed every form of abuse and some deaths. That life was normal to us, as we knew nothing of life in the outside world. There's little point in going on about it, as most information on the subject can now be found on the internet.
The point I make is that when the few like me, find the love of another human it is all consuming and you feel very lucky to have someone in your life to care for. It would take a book to explain our mind set and I've written three so far. My next is devoted to Alzheimer's from a unique perspective.
Sorry, but it bothers me when people tell me things are impossible. As you say you've not walked in my shoes. Some of us are very different and it can be turned into an advantage.
Yes I wrote books, simply because so many people of my generation were denied an education in the Irish Industrial School system. We were either too ashamed of the stigma attached to have been branded a criminal, or were incapable of expressing ourselves in print. In addition no one would believe us and the religious order totally denied every thing.
Only in recent years have they admitted to their wrongs and offered an apology. That was of course after the Irish Freedom of Information act was passed and we were allowed access to our records. My records reveal numerous lies about myself and the family I never got to know.
I may not be a writer in the conventional sense, but it appears that I get my message across from the feed back I've received. The whole of my life I've spent trying to prove self worth, and in spite of achieving national representative honours at sport and achieved high management position with an International firm, I still lack a sense of worth in society. My greatest satisfaction was to have fulfilled the dream I promised the girl I married; to own a large house in the countryside and be young enough to help raise our grandchildren. Best of all, was to care for her in her time of need.
Only in recent years have they admitted to their wrongs and offered an apology. That was of course after the Irish Freedom of Information act was passed and we were allowed access to our records. My records reveal numerous lies about myself and the family I never got to know.
I may not be a writer in the conventional sense, but it appears that I get my message across from the feed back I've received. The whole of my life I've spent trying to prove self worth, and in spite of achieving national representative honours at sport and achieved high management position with an International firm, I still lack a sense of worth in society. My greatest satisfaction was to have fulfilled the dream I promised the girl I married; to own a large house in the countryside and be young enough to help raise our grandchildren. Best of all, was to care for her in her time of need.
Oh my gosh silly as it sounds it makes me sad what you have written. I would love to read one of you books could you PM me please
Padrig,
What you have suffered as a child is truly terrible and is bound to have scarred you. But I do not think caring for your wife has made you feel cut off from the rest of us carers.
You have been on this site a long time and that in itself speaks of the need for all of us to be recognised and occasionally praised for the amount of care we give to
our vulnerable and defenceless relatives.
God bless all of us. We are all different but all united in trying under very trying circumstances to do our very best.
xxTinaT
What you have suffered as a child is truly terrible and is bound to have scarred you. But I do not think caring for your wife has made you feel cut off from the rest of us carers.
You have been on this site a long time and that in itself speaks of the need for all of us to be recognised and occasionally praised for the amount of care we give to
our vulnerable and defenceless relatives.
God bless all of us. We are all different but all united in trying under very trying circumstances to do our very best.
xxTinaT
There are people whose posts often leave me in tears and who fill me with admiration. They are truly awesome.
By contrast there are some, like me, who aren't awesome at all and who resemble the laughable members of Dad’s Army. I prepare for yesterday’s trials, and find, too late, that to-day is different and am found wanting. Every time I think I’ve got a grip, everything changes and I’m left floundering. The only constant is my wife wanting to come home, and I have to pretend that’s possible. There’s nothing awesome about being a liar!
By contrast there are some, like me, who aren't awesome at all and who resemble the laughable members of Dad’s Army. I prepare for yesterday’s trials, and find, too late, that to-day is different and am found wanting. Every time I think I’ve got a grip, everything changes and I’m left floundering. The only constant is my wife wanting to come home, and I have to pretend that’s possible. There’s nothing awesome about being a liar!
I think/feel the same as you Gringo
Their are some threads I read where I know that person is awesome
I know my Dad thinks I am awesome esp when I had both mum and dad to look after, but I am not, I was just doing the best I could for both mum and dad , I often found myself lacking too.
Your post brought tears to my eyes Gringo when you mention the pretence/lying about 'coming home' which I did. I spent four long hard years pretending/lying to my husband.
"When your legs get a bit stronger"
"When the doctor says you are better"
"We're seeing the specialist in a week or two and she will say you can come home"
What will always until the day I die hurt me the most is that he always believed me and trusted me implicitly and I was lying to him.
xxTinaT
"When your legs get a bit stronger"
"When the doctor says you are better"
"We're seeing the specialist in a week or two and she will say you can come home"
What will always until the day I die hurt me the most is that he always believed me and trusted me implicitly and I was lying to him.
xxTinaT
Similar threads
Recent Threads
-
Difficult family situation: how to manage?
- Latest: Annieislaurie
-
-
-
-
-
-
