Worried mum 69 is starting with dementia

[robo2023]

Thankyou for the welcome. Im.very confused and worried. My mum whos also been independent, ran businesses and been such a kind loving lady has changed over the last 5 years. she does drink every night and this does change her personality. However I've noticed other changes.she won't go out the house unless with my dad, she has stopped driving, her social circle has drooped and when she meets her friend I've watched and she doesn't engage she listens more than chats. She also has lost her empathy for situations and people and is very angry with everything except my dad and my sons her grandchildren we have thought it was drink associated but I've been staying with her and am shocked at the change in her, she shakes every morning like parkinsons, and suffers dreadful anxiety.she doesn't run the house or finances, my dad does absolutely everything for her and she has recently said such horrific things to me her only child that something clicked and I believe she has some form of early onset dementia. Her walk and gait is bad and she has to hold my dad her legs open and unbalanced at time, she lives daily life like a military Sargent with routine. And if anything changes this she cant cope. Her father my grandad got frontal lobe dementia and died young at 73...I don't know what to do.

 

[Evo 2810 ke]

How awful to have to deal with these anxious changes
My husband is 15 years in to Parkinson's diagnosed when he was 52 then 18 months ago had a diagnosis of dementia which to be perfectly honest has been hell
The only thing that has helped us is a superb safety net of mental health proffesionsls which diagnosed psychosis
He suffers every day with horrendous hallucinations which make him back off from reality as his reality is far from the normal every day life that we live
It is hard to compartmentalize but that is the only way we have been able to deal with it
See if any one can come in and diagnose mom with something more specific to a certain type of dementia as there are hundreds of different ones
Maybe then you can be helped with drugs that can diminish the horrendous issues you are dealing with
Its a fine line but with patience and good support you may get some help
Wishing you peace and support always in you personal struggle

 

[robo2023]

Thankyou for your reply it's so hard isn't it, we have a pretty toxic relationship so there's no way I could even mention it to her!!

 

[canary]

Hello @Evo 2810 ke

I can see why you are concerned, especially with that family history.
Have you talked to your dad? Spouses often feel they need to cover things up or sometimes doubt themselves over what they are seeing. Try and find a time when she is not around to talk to him and find out what he is thinking about her. It may be that knowing that you are concerned too will give him confidence to take things further. On the other hand, of course, he may be in denial.

What happens next will be up to him, but if he wont take things further one thing you can do is write a letter, or send an email to your mums GP so that they are aware of your concerns.