1. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    Margarita, if you are kind enough to reply, you are not being nosy.

    Lionel is lovely, he would pay for anything. Yes, I hold his power of attorney.

    I was just making the point that, in his case, he does not qualify for any help, and has to pay for everything. I try to hold on to his money until the day he has to go into a home permanently. I would like to give him the choice of somewhere suitable for his age. This usually comes at a price.

    Thank you for your concern. Connie
  2. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    She does, and I believe you're right, and I'm not sure I am comfortable with it at times.

    This is what I am struggling with, perhaps. AA is not means tested, yet other benefits are. Why? I think I need to be asking this of my MP not TP!

    Mum's AA more than covers the cost of the 'Care on Call' service we had installed for her following her hip replacement (no suggestion of AD at the time - AA purely on 'physical' grounds).

    She gets upset sometimes when no-one has called her from 'CoC' to see how she is, and have to reiterate what the service is all about, bless!

    Other than that service she/we are not 'strictly' paying for anything directly related to her needs to be attended to. We discount doing her shopping. laundry, cleaning etc but I guess if I and a few trusted others weren't around she would have to use what money was surplus to 'buy in'.

    Because she doesn't have to, should we give the surplus back? Why should she even 'qualify' at all? Her income is more than adequate to pay for what she needs (just now, with the help of personal and private support)... and will be woefully inadequate at some point too..... for now, the 'excess' goes on prawns and trifles and anything else that attends to her emotional or other needs...

    I do recognise how unjust that may seem - when some may rely on AA strictly for the purpose for which I think it was 'designed'. Then it's 'sod 'em'.... How many times have I heard mum tell the tale of her wedding cake being made from family and friends 'pooling rations' - she's suffered and worked hard all her bloody life, like so many of her generation.... why does she not deserve that 'little extra'to enjoy some small luxury...????

    Soz, Margarita, you asked me a simple question - you should know me better by now!:eek: :D
  3. Hilary

    Hilary Registered User

    Apr 17, 2006
    Common decency


    You are soooo right about the qualities of respect and common decency. My stepmother finds it hard when she has to go into hospital for cancer treatment to find she's in a mixed ward. Whoever was the lunatic that thought that one up? I've never shared a room with another man in my nightie.....um, I've never worn my nightie in a room with another man in it....urgh...being the sole occupant of my nightie I am reluctant to share a room with a man who is not my husband! :D

    I'm in my fifties and would like to preserve my modesty in front of strangers of either sex, but to be put in a mixed ward when you are in your 70's and of an even more reticent nature must be absolutely galling.
  4. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    Hilary's nightie/nighty/nightly


    I agree with everything you say but thanks for the laughs.

    I can even picture your nightie - brushed nylon and pale blue - correct me if I'm wrong!
  5. Hilary

    Hilary Registered User

    Apr 17, 2006

    Now, isn't THAT a leading question....:D

    If you're old enough you might remember two quotes by two ladies from the past, Mae West and Marilyn Monroe about what they wore in bed.... I wear both but unfortunately have the figure of neither!;)

    I do have a blue nightdress but it's a very solid non-see-through heavy cotton nightdress bought in Canada when I was staying there, and it's saved especially for those occasions when I might - horror of horrors - end up on one of those confounded mixed wards!
  6. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    #26 Margarita, Apr 22, 2006
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2006
    OIC connie :)

    Tender Face
    No Way !

    I just wanted to make sure your mother was getting all the financial help that she was entitle (spelling)too .

    And why not our parents paid years of national insurance, and Tax my mother & father work in England for 46 years

    Also I thought I read some where that they where stopping charging older people that get home help from SS?

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