Wish I could see inside mums head!!

[Aly657]

I so wish I could understand what goes on in mums head. Just for a day!!! I believe she must just live in each moment, she has no worries, no upset, just agrees with whatever we say, and talks nonsense, and as long as we go along with it, she happy.
dad took her home for the afternoon today, she seemed to have no feelings for the fact she was home, just carried on as usually is, when it was time to return to the home, dad just told her we had to go for a drive, and she happily went.
I am trying to see her lack of distress as a positive, as it would be so much harder if she did get upset, but its hard to accept that, between visits, she doesn't think of any of us, or need us around. I find it all very strange and hard to understand . I know there are no answers, I just wanted to put my feelings out there!!!

 

[Noorza]

Common statement:


They are happy so they don't care as they don't know if we are there or not.

For me: She thinks I am an angel daughter and she doesn't know what she'd do without me, then we move to the night time calls that say "beautiful daughter *****" I am accused of giving her diahorea or keeping her in hospital by telling the nurses to hide her medications.


I can't take my own advice, I give it out on here but when I would tell someone else not to take it personally it's the dementia, I still take it personally. It is so easy to look on the outside and give advice. It is so hard being on the inside and taking that same advice.

All I can say is, if she is happy, be happy for her. But plenty on here will understand your pain because you are losing your mum now, that is the cruelty of dementia, we lose them when they are here and we lose them again at the end. It's a doubly cruel disease and my heart goes out to you.

Be comforted that your mum is happy, be sad for yourself that your relationship has changed so much. xx