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William is very unwell again.

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by LadyA, Jul 29, 2015.

  1. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    60,141
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm pleased to hear that. As always wishing you strength.
     
  2. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Had a bit of that myself, 2Jays. Still going through having to tidy everything up. It does take a while. I have my relationship with the Lord holding me together. I couldn't do any of it without Him.
     
  3. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,962
    Brixham Devon
    LadyA, at this stage unfortunately it is ALL you can ask for. Can we have an update on how YOU are? Don't worry if you can't-just concerned about you.

    Thinking of you and William

    Love

    Lyn T XX
     
  4. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,525
    North East England
    Still thinking of you both today. xx
     
  5. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,551
    Ireland
    Me? I'm "fine". I'm exhausted and beyond, although I am sleeping at night as if someone had hit me with a hammer! Strangely, last night I woke in the middle of the night absolutely drenched in sweat! Never happened before. And no, it's not menopause - been there, done that years ago, and never had a night sweat then! I am assuming it's some sort of stress thing.

    Is it usual for William to actually look more lucid than he has for a couple of years, when he is awake? I don't know if he is more lucid, because he can't talk, but his eyes are clear sometimes. He is asleep most of the time - but a lot of times, even though he is asleep, his eyes are open, which is very weird.

    Very thick mucous/phlegm is building up in his throat, and the staff are having a problem clearing it, even with the suction machine, it's that thick. He also has (thankfully brief) periods when he gets a bit agitated and fidgety - he was trying to get his pyjama top off over his head this afternoon. And had pulled one of his pillows out from behind him. But mostly he lies there, and watches whatever he can see on the ceiling, occasionally reaching up toward it, and sometimes even saying a word or two in that direction - like "Yeah. That's right." - barely understandable.

    Two of his daughters are coming on Wednesday from the US. One is staying a week, whatever happens. She says she'd rather see him now and not be at his funeral. The other is the wife of the minister who is to preach at his funeral. Not sure how long she plans to stay.
     
  6. Grey Lad

    Grey Lad Registered User

    Sep 12, 2014
    5,736
    North East Lincs
    Your openness and bravery at this time are remarkable. I can't think of anything to say except the Big Fella would be proud of both of you. G L
     
  7. Oxy

    Oxy Registered User

    Jul 19, 2014
    955
    My thoughts are with you. I wish you much Strength and that William should have a peaceful time. Very hard time for you borne with such bravery.
     
  8. garnuft

    garnuft Registered User

    Sep 7, 2012
    6,585
    I felt my Mam was closer to me, more detached from her dementia in her final few weeks.
    She was more lucid and 'on point' then she had been for years before.

    For me, it is something I remember extraordinarily well, her being switched back on, though there were occasions when photographs in the hall way (her bedroom door opened into the hall) made her question who were those faces? and dementia showed it's face.

    But mostly, during the nursing time, when it was her and I...she was my Mam again, I'd missed her for so long, it was a pleasure to be re-introduced to her.

    My Mam was mostly calm but pushed the sheet that I kept putting over her legs away but ...oh, I shall never forget...was SO pleased when I put on a pair of fluffy socks. Her feet were SO cold.

    I felt my Mam returned Lady A. before she had to go.

    Peace to William and yourself and strength everlasting. x
     
  9. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,962
    Brixham Devon
    LadyA, I'm glad that you are sleeping ok-but not because you are so exhausted. I hope that you don't wake up exhausted as that can happen when stress is involved. I guess you also aren't too 'fine' either-but it's brave of you to write that.

    Re William being more lucid than normal; Pete was more animated the day he died:confused: he had even found the energy to be aggressive in the morning, but it was the dreaded personal care time! Pete was put back to bed as the DN was visiting to check his skin and sores and that's where I fed him. Pete was hallucinating in a strange way; he wasn't frightened or cross (normally one or the other) but he was pointing and looking incredulous-not at all frightened. Was he seeing someone who had gone before him? A friend/his sister/ Dad?. I don't know. Things happen that we have no understanding of.

    Pete also used to sleep with his eyes not shut fully; in his case he half closed his eyes and you could only see the whites-he did that for quite some time.

    When William's daughters visit make sure they look after YOU! Try not to run round after them!

    As always I'm thinking of you and William and wishing you peace.

    Love,

    Lyn T XX
     
  10. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,551
    Ireland
    Time to close this thread. xx
     
  11. SerenaS

    SerenaS Administrator
    Staff Member

    Apr 7, 2011
    13,277
    London
    I have closed this discussion at LadyA's request.
     
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