1. candymostdandy@

    candymostdandy@ Registered User

    May 12, 2006
    81
    west sussex
    Mum never leaves home unsupervised, but yesterday she announced that she was going to visit her son, so got her coat on and her handbag to leave the house.

    When I asked her how she was going to get there she said she knows were he lived.

    I let her go to see if she would actually leave the premises, and called her back once she had got on to the street, when I asked here were she was going, she said that she was going to church, so I explained that there was no mass at 1630 on monday afternoon and to come back in, which she did.

    She normally never leaves the house on her own as she would be unable to find her way about, and she is scared to.

    I've been able to leave her on her own for a hour or so to go shopping, up until now, but after yesterday I'm not too sure, is she likely to start to wander off?



    PS mum was taken out by carer this morning, apparently she can't stand the woman because she never stops talking and does her head in, my reply was that Pot and Kettle come to mind....
     
  2. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,439
    I would think the answer is yes. If she's no longer afraid to go "outside" then to her mind, why shouldn't she go out. I'm currently stuggling with this - mummy gets outside her apartment and then has no idea how to get back in again. Doesn't happen often, rarely happens at night, but even once is enough.
     
  3. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    It does rather sound as though she might. I seem to remember my dad having a phase where he was anxious to go out if he was going out anywhere new ..... this is a long while before he was diagnosed ...... as though he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to remember what he was doing. But then he got to a stage where he forgot he was anxious, didn't remember that he didn't know where he was going, and would go out. I'm afraid it doesn't sound very good if mum had set off to see her son and by the time she was outside she thought she was going to church.

    Time to reassess safety issues maybe? Either to try to limit the possibility of mum wandering off, or at least to have her address/contact phone number with her in case she gets in a muddle.

    One thing with dad though ....... I used to worry like mad about him. He went out and I think got quite muddled and lost quite often at one stage (the stage where really he was quite ill but I couldn't convince anyone to do anything about it) and, although we tend to see the world as quite dangerous and threatening, and I used to have horrors of him being mugged etc ........ the only times that anyone actually intervened or intercepted him, were for benevolent, helpful reasons. I don't say this to minimise the problem ........ just to offer some hope .......
     
  4. Grandaughter 1

    Grandaughter 1 Registered User

    Jan 17, 2006
    141
    Hampshire
    Hiya,

    My Grandad went throught a stage of wandering an awful lot. One day Nan fell asleep in the chair and she woke up to someone hammering on the door. It was a neighbour knocking to say that Grandad had crossed the main road and was standing at the bus stop! I'm very surprised he didn't get run over as apparantly he just walked out in the road!

    On a number of occasions he has just got up and tried to walk out the front door saying he needs to get his pension or put the bins out.

    As Tina said you may have to prepare yourself as this could become more frequent.

    Louise x
     
  5. wendy43uk

    wendy43uk Registered User

    Dec 22, 2005
    64
    sheffield
    mabe its time to lock the door so she cant creap out again
     
  6. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    1,342
    It was when I locked my mother in that she turned violent.

    I don't think she ever got lost when she wandered, she knew where she had been, but obviously it was not safe for her outside after dark in her nightie, but the doctor she saw at the "Rapid Results Clinic" told her she had a right to go out whenever and wherever she liked, and to wear whatever she liked etc. Of course he wasn't around to answer for the consequences.

    Lila
     
  7. maudie

    maudie Registered User

    Jul 5, 2006
    10
    Cambridgeshire
    For the last two to three months, all Mum would say is that she wanted to go home - a place from her past not her present home. But just today she's asking can she stay where she is as she doesn't feel up to going home. So hopefully, the wanting to go home or go somewhere is just a phase and in our case lasted just a couple of months.:)
     
  8. sony

    sony Registered User

    Hi everyone,

    I can definately relate to your problem 'candymostdandy'! It is my Granny who has Alzheimer's and she lives with my Grandad quite near us. She wants to go 'home' ALOT, but since she has arthritis, and can't walk very far, she tends to mostly leave the house through the front door and come back in through the back door and that normally settles her.

    However, last Friday (13th!!), my Mum and I were away for the day and my Dad and brother were at work, so there was no-one in our house. My Grandad recently lost his drivers licence and consequently sold his car. According to my Grandad, at about 2pm she told him she was going 'home' coz she was 'sick of being here working all hours and not getting any thanks!!' He said she was very aggressive (she has been getting more aggressive lately), and he doesn't understand what's wrong with her and thus doesn't handle this sort of situation well.
    So, he told her he had no car to take her home, wait until I get the lend of a car tomorrow and I'll take you up, but she was having none of it and put her coat on and left the house! (We live 3 miles from our local town, our house is off a very busy main road, about 1 mile up this road.) I think my grandparents had a bigger barney than my Grandad's letting on coz my Granny left our house and walked to the main (busy) road, turned left towards town and walked for another mile!! I know this because, a mini-bus came along past my Grandparents house and noticed my Grandad standing out on the road and stopped to ask him if he was OK, he told her that his wife had went for a walk and that he had no car to go and get her. Thankfully, she told him to get in and they went up the road to look her - my Granny got into the bus no problem.....she had walked a mile and a half so I'm not surprised!! She could barely walk for about 3 days afterwards!!

    We are so grateful to that lady bus driver (my mum bought her a bunch of flowers to thank her) coz if she hadn't of come along, God know's where my Granny would've ended up!! Plus, although there are other houses along our road most of them wouldn't know what my Granny looks like never mind know that she has alzheimer's! My brother was telling his friend who lives near us about it on Friday night and his friend said 'right enough, I did see your granny on the road but never thought anything of it!!'!

    All of us couldn't believe that she'd walked that far! We always assumed that coz of her arthritis, she wouldn't wander that far, but she has proved us wrong!! She must've been VERY determined to get 'home' on this particular day. Plus, we always thought that she only left the house when my Grandad wasn't there, but this has proved that it doesn't matter whether he's there or not.

    I know this is of probably of no use to you, but just thought I'd share my experience so you know you're not alone!! I would also like to know what can be done to make the house safer and to prevent this. Wendy unfortunately I don't think it is viable to lock the door especially if the person is on their own, what if there was a fire or something and they couldn't get out? My Mum was telling a MALE friend of hers what had happened and his reply was 'Time to get the ball and chain out'!! Imagine!!

    My Mum is going abroad for a weeks holiday tomorrow, she really needs it but it'll be a disaster at my Granny's house without her!! Even though her 5 brothers are more involved with things, it'll still be a nightmare!! I'm trying to stay out of it as much as possible!! But, I can imagine I'll be called on a few times!!

    Anyway, better go, thanks for listening!!

    Take care

    Sony
    xx
     
  9. nice

    nice Registered User

    Aug 24, 2006
    17
    Unpredictability is the nature of this particular beast, the chances are that she will wander. Things go in phases and patterns some of the time, but there is always that element of unpredictability. In my mother's case it's a huge element of unpredictability, she's the Queen of wandering :/
     

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