Every day for the past couple of weeks or more OH has talked about going to "his folks" for Christmas and Hogmanay. He is convinced that they only live a few miles away ( they are no longer alive & when they were they lived 5,000 miles away!). Nothing I say will take his mind off the idea or distract him. Simply walking away makes no difference for when I return he simply starts again. He`s demanded I take him there, and when I come up with various excuses for not being able to I am just told that I am being ridiculous and he sulks! He is adamant that we go there every year, although he acknowledges we didn`t during the covid pandemic! He even took himself off for a walk yesterday as he was going" to find a directory with his parent`s telephone number" so he could phone his dad to ask him to come and pick us up!! He came back after half an hour, and simply sat on the settee and sulked like a child again. If I tried to speak to him I was told he was very upset I would not take him to his folks, and how upset they would be not seeing us. Unfortunately there are no family members or friends I can turn to as they have, in the main, drifted away, and those that do keep in contact occasionally live far away. I am dreading to-day and tomorrow.
Will not be distracted....
- Thread starter Anthoula
- Start date
((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))) @Anthoula
Theres just no answer to this is there?
OH kept going on at me on boxing day because I wouldnt cook a dinner in the evening, even though I never cook on Boxing Day (I havent for 42 years) and at lunch time he had had a huge plate of cold meat, stuffing, pigs in blankets, potato salad, rice salad, tomatoes, crisps, etc and then I zapped some left over Christmas pudding in the microwave to be eaten with cream and brandy butter. We ate chocolates and mince pies through the afternoon and I thought a plate of cheese, crackers and fruit would suffice for tea. But no, he had forgotten all of this and demanded a cooked dinner in the evening. When I refused he sulked, and sulked all the next day too. As someone said on here - if hes sulking at least its quiet!!!
Theres just no answer to this is there?
OH kept going on at me on boxing day because I wouldnt cook a dinner in the evening, even though I never cook on Boxing Day (I havent for 42 years) and at lunch time he had had a huge plate of cold meat, stuffing, pigs in blankets, potato salad, rice salad, tomatoes, crisps, etc and then I zapped some left over Christmas pudding in the microwave to be eaten with cream and brandy butter. We ate chocolates and mince pies through the afternoon and I thought a plate of cheese, crackers and fruit would suffice for tea. But no, he had forgotten all of this and demanded a cooked dinner in the evening. When I refused he sulked, and sulked all the next day too. As someone said on here - if hes sulking at least its quiet!!!
@canary I thought of you today. Every New Years Eve I make a large assortment of Canapes that my husband and I nibble on while we watch the celebrations on the TV. I spent a good part of the day cooking. On New Year’s Day and the next couple of days we eat the leftovers. Today, New Years, he asked what we were having for dinner. I told him all the Canapes from the night before. He looked at me very confused and said, “What are you talking about you only gave me a cheese sandwich for dinner last night.” I immediately thought of you and your Boxing Day dinner story.
Yes, the sulking! When I begin hoovering and he gets in a sulk because he only did that yesterday /this morning. ‘Obviously wasn’t good enough’ and stalks off in a huff. You’ve guessed - he didn’t hoover, he thinks he did but his time sense is going so his ‘this morning’ could well be last week.
My OH does the same thing. He’ll ask what he can help do. I’ll ask him to clean the bathroom and he’ll insist he just cleaned it. When it’s really been 2 weeks. He then insists I must just not like how he cleaned it and will start sulking. Since he has no short term memory, after a couple of minutes he forgets he’s mad and stops his sulking.
Well said. I remember trying to correct my mum at first - get her back to the real world. It doesn't work.
I know what you mean. I would take our carer's world any time, though.
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It’s hard tho isn’t it. On the surface of it my husband just does as he pleases, and I do all the hard work for which he can show no gratitude. But I know he has long scary nights of broken sleep and imaginings which must be awful. It is so sad for everyone caught up in this cruel disease. Sending love ❤️ xxx
@Anthoula I’m sorry your OH your is driving you crazy with demands to see his deceased parents. I don’t have any suggestions on how to distract him but you are among people who understand your frustrations. Many PWD will get stuck in a mental loop and keep doing the same undesirable thing over and over. Nothing will deflect them but eventually they will move on to something else.
Thank you Cardinal. I sincerely hope OH`s mental loop will break soon. I simply can not come up with any more excuses as to the why I can not drive to Zimbabwe!!
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