Why was Pete saying this....?

[LYN T]

Hi all

As many of you know my OH has been in a care home now for about a month

The move from a Mental Health unit went very well and he is in a very good, caring place. Yesterday I noticed yet another change in him. I visit everyday and most times he's no idea of who I am-but I can just about deal with that as I know it's not his fault and to be quite honest if his memory of me and home is lost that makes life easier for him as he's not asking for me or wanting to come home all of the time.

Yesterday he kept saying 'is this real' 'is this real' over and over. Anyone any idea what this means? He didn't appear to be distressed-just more confused.

He ate all of his lunch and the treats I always take in. I always say to him 'do you want me to visit tomorrow', and he normally says #yes'. Yesterday he answered 'that needs thinking about'-and that was one of the rare things I understood-but that's quite normal.

Should I be concerned?

Take care everyone and have good days if you can

Lyn T

 

[Saffie]

Maybe a moment of clarity Lyn. They do happen. My mother had the odd occasion when she'd get upset and ask what was to become of her,in fact, of us all. It was upsetting but didn't happen very often and less and less as time passed.
Pete's seems to be him trying to work out what was what.

 

[rajahh]

I agree I think he is just trying to make sense of what is happening .

I think it is best if he doesnot know you asit would certainly distress me if Gordon kept asking to be taken home, and he actually knew what home was.

It is such a complicated disease it is hard to deal with the different effects it has on all of us.

Jeannatte

 

[Jo1958]

Lyn, hi
I agree that Pete is trying to get his bearings, hubby is the same, reality and hallucinations and the confusion of dementia cause him to question what is 'real'. Sometimes hubby is clearer about his life and everyday experiences than others and he certainly asks me questions as he knows I'm there for him and he usually trusts me even if he doesn't know 'me'.

This time getting settled into his new environment has been a much quieter and more secure time for Pete and I hope that he continues to feel safe and comfortable, getting his head around it must be very hard work.

I hope you have a good visit today and don't get too wet!
With kind regards from Jo

 

[LYN T]

Thank you Saffie, Jeannette and Jo

I hadn't thought of Pete having a lucid moment as it's been so long since he had one!

I will see how he is when I go and see him. If I still think he is 'different' I will ask the carers and see how he's been with them.

Thanks again everyone

Love from Lyn T

 

[Margaret938]

Hello Lyn
Nice to see your post again, it seems like a long time since I heard about Pete. I do agree with Saffie, Jeanette and Jo. We cannot always have the answer to what our loved one says. Sometimes George says the weirdest things and I don't know where it has come from and can't make head nor tail of it, so I usually talk about something to distract him. Being in the Care Home must be confusing at times, I worry that George is wondering why he is there, but I am always pleased when he says he is happy. Yesterday was not a good day for me, but I am hoping that today will be different, I will go in the evening just for a change. Fingers crossed, all we have is hope.
Please let us know how you find Pete today.
Much Love,
Margaret x

 

[LYN T]

Panic over-Pete back to normal.

No more 'is it real'

Pete had had a bath this morning and looked spick and span-no agitation with his personal care today, as a matter of fact he had played with the bubbles in the bath like a child would, so he had a good soak.Excellent.

The staff have come up with a very simple idea to stop P having a bit of a wander when he has a meal; they sit him at a table with his back against the wall! He's then 'wedged' in! It works!He can also see everyone coming and going and it keeps him still for quite a while. Clever them

We had a music moment and listened to the radio P has in his room-he was in a lovely mood.He can't sing anymore but he likes a good whistle and it gives him pleasure-it's his link to the music which was so important to him (he was head choirboy at his church when he was young, and a long standing member of a symphony chorus before he became ill). It's so sad that P can't remember how to sing-but that's my sadness not his as P can't remember all of that (thankfully).

I've promised him coffee and cake at the local cafe tomorrow-food really is a pleasure for P-long may the peaceful times continue.

Take care everyone

Lyn T

 

[Helen33]

Such good news Lyn.

Love

 

[lilysmybabypup]

How good it is to hear the way Pete is settled, and even better to hear the way you're feeling more relaxed. I'm so glad for you both, yes, very clever to pop him in a safe spot to eat without him feeling restrained in any way.

Enjoy your visits, and I hope you're also managing to benefit from your free time too.

Take care, Stephanie, xxx