Who am I ? I won't know myself soon!!!
- Thread starter annielou
- Start date
Todays visit wasn't bad at all. Poor mum is still confused bless her but then she will be won't she, she has Alzheimers and she's in a strange place with strange people which would be confusing for anyone, but she was calm today so that's good.
She told me when I arrived someone had told her she'd to go to hospital for a few days and can't go home yet but she didn't know why. I said they just needed to keep an eye on her after she'd fallen and cos they thought she'd had a little stroke so they need to make sure she's healing up ok and it hasn't affected her cos doesn't look like it has so far. She asked how long for and I said I don't know yet it'll be a few days I think, she might stay in this hospital or go to another one. (that was me planting a little seed she may move somewhere else like CH without saying so)
She was confused about if this was where she worked and where the hospital was so I just kept saying this was a hospital it just looked like her factory and was nearly in same place as the factory but wasn't it. (it is actually very close to where she worked after her and dad split up till they closed and sold building a few years before she retired) Mum seemed to think it was the factory but it had been sold and was being made into a hospital now, there is building work being done on hospital she can see through window so she thinks its them converting it from a factory to hospital. I didn't say too much just gently reminded her this was a hospital now and she had to stay a while to be looked after.
She asked me if she had some clothes and pjs and if there was somewhere to get washed and changed and if she'd be in there on her own, I told her I'd left her some clean clothe,s pjs and towel, they had a bathroom and the other ladies in the room were staying there too. She was surprised they were ill too as she thought they worked there but seemed to accept it, at least while I was there she did, not sure if will remember or understand any of it later. She asked if she'd to put her pjs on and get in bed now but I told her she didn't have to do that till bedtime she could stay dressed and in chair in the daytime. We talked bit bout DRs and nurses might come and check on her every so often and ask her a few things but that's just them checking if she's ok now so not to be upset or annoyed at them. She let me take her dirty clothes etc out of bags, I said it was so she didn't have as much to keep an eye on, I'd take them home and bring clean each day. She asked if I could still visit her now it's a hospital and I said Yes I'm coming again tomorrow I've already booked my slot.
We chatted a bit about a few other things in between talking about hospital and she was ok when it was time for me to go .I got her codebook for her and left her looking for her pen in her travel bag. I had taken the trousers back we'd found in her bag yesterday and mum asked what they were so I said they were in with your washing yesterday I think you packed them by accident and mum said Oh dear. I told her I was going to give them to nurses and not to worry bout it. When I handed them in at nurses station I told her we'd found them in mums washing but they're not hers. I said I don't know if you lent them her cos she did have upset tummy but more than likely she'll have packed them by mistake in one of her packing up sprees cos she's always packing and trying to leave. The nurse said they weren't ones they'd have lent her and she wasn't sure whose they could be. One of the other staff came by and she wondered if they were the lady in next beds to mum so she took them in room to ask. I was talking to nurse at station about finding them and washing them before bringing them back and she said It looks like they might be her next doors. Mum must have heard the other one asking the lady, or she said something to mum cos nurse I was talking to said Oh your mums just covering her mouth and laughing bless her, I looked through window and mum was looking sheepish. I think and I hope they made a joke of it and everyone was ok about it, it looked ok. ? fingers crossed rest of mums day passes calmly ?
She told me when I arrived someone had told her she'd to go to hospital for a few days and can't go home yet but she didn't know why. I said they just needed to keep an eye on her after she'd fallen and cos they thought she'd had a little stroke so they need to make sure she's healing up ok and it hasn't affected her cos doesn't look like it has so far. She asked how long for and I said I don't know yet it'll be a few days I think, she might stay in this hospital or go to another one. (that was me planting a little seed she may move somewhere else like CH without saying so)
She was confused about if this was where she worked and where the hospital was so I just kept saying this was a hospital it just looked like her factory and was nearly in same place as the factory but wasn't it. (it is actually very close to where she worked after her and dad split up till they closed and sold building a few years before she retired) Mum seemed to think it was the factory but it had been sold and was being made into a hospital now, there is building work being done on hospital she can see through window so she thinks its them converting it from a factory to hospital. I didn't say too much just gently reminded her this was a hospital now and she had to stay a while to be looked after.
She asked me if she had some clothes and pjs and if there was somewhere to get washed and changed and if she'd be in there on her own, I told her I'd left her some clean clothe,s pjs and towel, they had a bathroom and the other ladies in the room were staying there too. She was surprised they were ill too as she thought they worked there but seemed to accept it, at least while I was there she did, not sure if will remember or understand any of it later. She asked if she'd to put her pjs on and get in bed now but I told her she didn't have to do that till bedtime she could stay dressed and in chair in the daytime. We talked bit bout DRs and nurses might come and check on her every so often and ask her a few things but that's just them checking if she's ok now so not to be upset or annoyed at them. She let me take her dirty clothes etc out of bags, I said it was so she didn't have as much to keep an eye on, I'd take them home and bring clean each day. She asked if I could still visit her now it's a hospital and I said Yes I'm coming again tomorrow I've already booked my slot.
We chatted a bit about a few other things in between talking about hospital and she was ok when it was time for me to go .I got her codebook for her and left her looking for her pen in her travel bag. I had taken the trousers back we'd found in her bag yesterday and mum asked what they were so I said they were in with your washing yesterday I think you packed them by accident and mum said Oh dear. I told her I was going to give them to nurses and not to worry bout it. When I handed them in at nurses station I told her we'd found them in mums washing but they're not hers. I said I don't know if you lent them her cos she did have upset tummy but more than likely she'll have packed them by mistake in one of her packing up sprees cos she's always packing and trying to leave. The nurse said they weren't ones they'd have lent her and she wasn't sure whose they could be. One of the other staff came by and she wondered if they were the lady in next beds to mum so she took them in room to ask. I was talking to nurse at station about finding them and washing them before bringing them back and she said It looks like they might be her next doors. Mum must have heard the other one asking the lady, or she said something to mum cos nurse I was talking to said Oh your mums just covering her mouth and laughing bless her, I looked through window and mum was looking sheepish. I think and I hope they made a joke of it and everyone was ok about it, it looked ok. ? fingers crossed rest of mums day passes calmly ?
Hope the visit went well. With mum’s ‘this is me’ form I put down some of the things she’d done in the past that might trigger a memory ( or might not). I must admit it did look a bit sparse.
Ah it sounds like they had a giggle about the trousers and not a stressful thing at all . I’m glad the visit was ok and mum was calm , good idea planting the seed for a move to a different place ? . Hope you have a nice evening . X
Thanks @Sarasa x I'm trying not to ramble or leave too many blank bits, some questions are easier than others. My sister had a look at lunchtime and we've come up with a few answers between us. Mum was a mum and a housewife and had a few jobs before and after she was married but hasn't really done lots of things or gone many places so we're a bit lacking on achievements or significant events so haven't put much on those. Its feels funny writing about mum for other people, thinking what people might want or need to know. Also weird writing it as if I'm mum, not sure she'd agree with some of the things I'm saying nowadays bless her.
thanks @Woo2 hope it stays that way x
Hope both your mums are doing ok xx
thanks @Woo2 hope it stays that way x
Hope both your mums are doing ok xx
Bet the ironing was done first
I say that because I have a basket in front of me which I am trying to ignore unsuccessfully
Crumbs, I only iron shirts, hankies and tea towelsSheets not ironed
Thanks @Woo2 @Bikerbeth @Sarasa @canary xxxx I did indeed do some ironing this afternoon, I only iron clothes though no sheets, or teatowels then I wrapped hubbys pressies as its his birthday on Thursday and we popped to Hubbys sisters to pick up birthday things while our dinner cooked. We were supposed to be having half hour in the garden with them but as its heavy rain and wind today we popped inside for a bit. We stayed apart and didn't touch anything only gift bag and we sanitised in the car before coming home and washing hands etc. Visiting is very different nowadays. We were talking about mum at their house and I was a bit upset when got home and struggled eating my dinner cos had stomach pains. I thought I had IBS in my late 20s/30s but last 10 years or so its been much better, still odd bouts when stressed and when eat certain things but loads better until just lately it's been a bit more noticeable. Well it can bog off cos I've enough on my mind without worrying about that, ooh bog off lol thats appropriate
Todays visit was ok, mum said straight away when I was putting her new stuff in her drawer that she was going home today. She said it a few times during visit so I just kept saying I don't think it'll be today cos they said might be few days yesterday. She asked if she could come home with me cos there weren't any busses and she didn't know how she'd get home .I told her I was leaving at 12 and they'd not said she could go yet so she couldn't come with me but if they did say she could go today , they'd let us know and either take her, or ring me but I doubted it would be today cos things move slow in hospital, I joked they wouldn't just say rightio --- off yer pop now tara. I manged to convince her to order some tea just in case and let me switch her clothes etc and bring worn ones home saying if she did go home she'd only have one bag to take then.
I'd took some baby lotion in with me today and got her to put some on her legs as they are really dry and flaky. I'd tried fairly often at home and she always said she'd do it later so I wasn't expecting much today but sh did it bless her. We had a laugh about it cos I said her legs were as dry as old sticks and if she rubbed then together they'd make a fire, she said Oy you stop calling my legs old, I told her they look old now cos they're dry but if she keeps using the baby lotion they'd soon be soft and smooth and young looking like babies legs. We were laughing at that and then she couldn't get lotion out of bottle so I took it and was shaking and tapping bottle which sounded like clapping so nurses came to door to see what was happening
Mum asked about my dad and her mum a bit like usual and her houses but she was ok when I told her bits about them and didn't get upset. We talked a bit about my sister and her kids and we ended up talking about a visit at my house a few years ago where I took a photo cos everyone was on their phones at same time, I showed mum that photo and then we were talking about old photos so I showed her some photos on my phone that I took of mums photos so I can have copies of them. (Sis and I were thinking of sending mums box of photos to CH with her as she likes to look through them so I took photos of the ones we didn't already have copies of yesterday so if any get lost or damaged we can print another)
When it was almost time to go we had a funny last five minutes, my foot had gone to sleep from the way I was resting on it so I was stamping it on floor before I got up and mum was laughing, then I couldn't get my coat on so we were laughing at that, I picked my bag up which mum said looked heavy so I was pretending it was pulling me over, I went to put my chair back at end of ward and its a bit of tricky manoeuvre between a bed, table and door and I usually bump into something so I was joking about that saying I hadn't passed my test yet and was only a learner chair mover so we were still laughing at that when I went back to get mums carrier of worn clothes and say bye. I bet the nurse who was sat on ward to keep eye on them thinks I'm a right nutter and should be admitted myself but I don't care if it makes mum smile. Mum and I have always enjoyed silly little things and it's nice to see her smile and laugh a bit.
As I was leaving room the lady from next bed to mum stopped me and said thank you for washing her trousers, those were the ones I returned yesterday that sis found in mums bag when she brought it home on sunday. I told her mum must have packed them by accident cos she had a dark blue pair similar, she seemed okay about it and said there's lots the same cos they're just a plain dark pair, I told her they both shopped at m&s so were both classy ladies which made her and mum smile and she said I'd no need to wash them but thanks cos it saved her a job. I waved at mum and said bye again as I left and they all said bye, so hopefully they were both ok about it .
I had a call from a case manager at hospital this afternoon asking a few bits about mum, just if she had carers already and, how was her mobility and continence. She said they're all of opinion mum not safe to go home and will benefit from short stay in a home for rest of assessment on needing permanent care. She said they were looking to place her in home SW said we were interested in but couldn't guarantee it. She asked what I thought and how I felt about it. I said I didn't like idea of mum going in a home but that's what she needs now and I think it should happen. I said I'been struggling with her wanting to leave when she was at home and that's why we'd asked for a reassessment a few weeks ago from SW and I realised that's what she needs and I can't keep her safe at home anymore even if I was there 24 hrs a day she would still try and would still get out so I know she needs permanent care now to keep her safe. She told me its not an easy thing coming to terms with a parent needing to go into a home but when reach this stage it's whats needed to keep them safe and then I could go back to being a daughter again rather than a carer and know she's safe and cared for.
She said she would put referral in today, I asked if she knew how long it would take but she didn't know, she said they'd keep us informed and said we could call if had any questions or concerns but would let us know when they heard anything. So we're a bit further along but still not sure when it'll happen.
Hope everyone else is ok x
then I wrapped hubbys pressies as its his birthday on Thursday and we popped to Hubbys sisters to pick up birthday things while our dinner cooked. We were supposed to be having half hour in the garden with them but as its heavy rain and wind today we popped inside for a bit. We stayed apart and didn't touch anything only gift bag and we sanitised in the car before coming home and washing hands etc. Visiting is very different nowadays. We were talking about mum at their house and I was a bit upset when got home and struggled eating my dinner cos had stomach pains. I thought I had IBS in my late 20s/30s but last 10 years or so its been much better, still odd bouts when stressed and when eat certain things but loads better until just lately it's been a bit more noticeable. Well it can bog off cos I've enough on my mind without worrying about that, ooh bog off lol thats appropriate Todays visit was ok, mum said straight away when I was putting her new stuff in her drawer that she was going home today. She said it a few times during visit so I just kept saying I don't think it'll be today cos they said might be few days yesterday. She asked if she could come home with me cos there weren't any busses and she didn't know how she'd get home .I told her I was leaving at 12 and they'd not said she could go yet so she couldn't come with me but if they did say she could go today , they'd let us know and either take her, or ring me but I doubted it would be today cos things move slow in hospital, I joked they wouldn't just say rightio --- off yer pop now tara. I manged to convince her to order some tea just in case and let me switch her clothes etc and bring worn ones home saying if she did go home she'd only have one bag to take then.
I'd took some baby lotion in with me today and got her to put some on her legs as they are really dry and flaky. I'd tried fairly often at home and she always said she'd do it later so I wasn't expecting much today but sh did it bless her. We had a laugh about it cos I said her legs were as dry as old sticks and if she rubbed then together they'd make a fire, she said Oy you stop calling my legs old, I told her they look old now cos they're dry but if she keeps using the baby lotion they'd soon be soft and smooth and young looking like babies legs. We were laughing at that and then she couldn't get lotion out of bottle so I took it and was shaking and tapping bottle which sounded like clapping so nurses came to door to see what was happening
Mum asked about my dad and her mum a bit like usual and her houses but she was ok when I told her bits about them and didn't get upset. We talked a bit about my sister and her kids and we ended up talking about a visit at my house a few years ago where I took a photo cos everyone was on their phones at same time, I showed mum that photo and then we were talking about old photos so I showed her some photos on my phone that I took of mums photos so I can have copies of them. (Sis and I were thinking of sending mums box of photos to CH with her as she likes to look through them so I took photos of the ones we didn't already have copies of yesterday so if any get lost or damaged we can print another)
When it was almost time to go we had a funny last five minutes, my foot had gone to sleep from the way I was resting on it so I was stamping it on floor before I got up and mum was laughing, then I couldn't get my coat on so we were laughing at that, I picked my bag up which mum said looked heavy so I was pretending it was pulling me over, I went to put my chair back at end of ward and its a bit of tricky manoeuvre between a bed, table and door and I usually bump into something so I was joking about that saying I hadn't passed my test yet and was only a learner chair mover so we were still laughing at that when I went back to get mums carrier of worn clothes and say bye. I bet the nurse who was sat on ward to keep eye on them thinks I'm a right nutter and should be admitted myself but I don't care if it makes mum smile. Mum and I have always enjoyed silly little things and it's nice to see her smile and laugh a bit.
As I was leaving room the lady from next bed to mum stopped me and said thank you for washing her trousers, those were the ones I returned yesterday that sis found in mums bag when she brought it home on sunday. I told her mum must have packed them by accident cos she had a dark blue pair similar, she seemed okay about it and said there's lots the same cos they're just a plain dark pair, I told her they both shopped at m&s so were both classy ladies which made her and mum smile and she said I'd no need to wash them but thanks cos it saved her a job. I waved at mum and said bye again as I left and they all said bye, so hopefully they were both ok about it .
I had a call from a case manager at hospital this afternoon asking a few bits about mum, just if she had carers already and, how was her mobility and continence. She said they're all of opinion mum not safe to go home and will benefit from short stay in a home for rest of assessment on needing permanent care. She said they were looking to place her in home SW said we were interested in but couldn't guarantee it. She asked what I thought and how I felt about it. I said I didn't like idea of mum going in a home but that's what she needs now and I think it should happen. I said I'been struggling with her wanting to leave when she was at home and that's why we'd asked for a reassessment a few weeks ago from SW and I realised that's what she needs and I can't keep her safe at home anymore even if I was there 24 hrs a day she would still try and would still get out so I know she needs permanent care now to keep her safe. She told me its not an easy thing coming to terms with a parent needing to go into a home but when reach this stage it's whats needed to keep them safe and then I could go back to being a daughter again rather than a carer and know she's safe and cared for.
She said she would put referral in today, I asked if she knew how long it would take but she didn't know, she said they'd keep us informed and said we could call if had any questions or concerns but would let us know when they heard anything. So we're a bit further along but still not sure when it'll happen.
Hope everyone else is ok x
Well that really sounds promising Andie, on two fronts. Mum should be going to somewhere she can be looked after and from what you experienced she is more settled in her mind with all the other people around her all the time. It won’t be like that permanently but I think it bodes well for a move to residential care once she settles in. ?
That sounds like a good visit @annielou, and so glad that the case manager managed to call and talk things through with you. I hope they can move your mum soon, as it sounds that once in a care home she'll settle well and really thrive there.
Glad I'm not the only one who doesn't iron sheets and tea towels.
Glad I'm not the only one who doesn't iron sheets and tea towels.
Many years ago one of my friends used to iron her husband’s socks but not the back of pillowcases!?
I was taught to iron by our Chinese maid....she ironed everything. I like ironing but when you are busy it’s the job that does not get done.
My mum irons little or rather I iron little for her. I was really tempted to do her duvet set today but I knew she’d get mad so I didn’t (another of life’s little pleasures lost)
My mum irons little or rather I iron little for her. I was really tempted to do her duvet set today but I knew she’d get mad so I didn’t (another of life’s little pleasures lost)
