Where is it?

[Gingertwist]

Oh well,been back today, have searched everywhere. It is quite a large tin, absolutely years old, slightly battered and heavy. I have been under the table, under cushions, in the same cupboards as yesterday, washing machine, cooker, microwave, you name it I have been there. In the cistern, in the piano stool. Then I tackled the garage. Still cant find it. It is 'that man'who has it and I should go round and ask him for it! Dont know who this man is and cant make any sense to it. My mum then said she was taking the money out and that I had the tin. She gave me some cash last week in a carrier bag, and Im hoping this is the contents of the tin. I really dont think anyone has been in, but who knows, or she could have put it out for last weeks waste collection. Time will tell, and as you say such a waste of time, but it has achieved one thing - I have been there two days running for a considerable time which has made her happy. Thank you all for your help xx

 

[mandyT]

What a day. After a full busy day at work I visit my Mum. Shes lost her cash tin! I have been on my hands and knees looking under everything. I have been in every cupboard, drawer, wardrobe, airing cupboard, in the bed, bath, rummaged through clothes, fridge, freezer, microwave and oven. 'That man' has been in a taken it! Then it was my Dad who has taken it for his woman (he died in 1999). I dont know where to look next? It has her money for bills in it, so where is it? Any ideas where I can look next! Has anyone found something like this in an unexpected place? Incidentally I asked if she had any pain going to the toilet but she says it is all ok. She is so muddled, it must be a UTI.

The freezer? My mum in law once put her house keys in the freezer (thought it was a cupboard) it was ages before we found them. She also once put them UNDER a wardrobe that took two men to lift! heaven knows where she found the strength

 

[Katrine]

Behind books on the bookcase? In a bucket? Inside the piano? It seems you have already looked everywhere for a large tin.

We found with MIL that it was worth listening to her garbled explanation at the beginning of the search. So, for example, if she told you that "a man took it away" she might have been remembering watching the binman take the wheelie to his bin lorry. She knew the tin was in the bin. Now she's forgotten putting it in the bin but remembers 'the man'.

Sometimes real memories are retained in scrambled form if they are linked to strong emotions. In that hypothetical scenario she would have felt anxious / guilty / embarrassed / angry if she realised that her tin was being taken away.

 

[Gingertwist]

Behind books on the bookcase? In a bucket? Inside the piano? It seems you have already looked everywhere for a large tin.

We found with MIL that it was worth listening to her garbled explanation at the beginning of the search. So, for example, if she told you that "a man took it away" she might have been remembering watching the binman take the wheelie to his bin lorry. She knew the tin was in the bin. Now she's forgotten putting it in the bin but remembers 'the man'.

Sometimes real memories are retained in scrambled form if they are linked to strong emotions. In that hypothetical scenario she would have felt anxious / guilty / embarrassed / angry if she realised that her tin was being taken away.

I did mention this to her and she is adamant she did not throw it out, that a man who I know (I dont) took it and he is a thief and I should go and see him. Im not going to mention it anymore but on my next visit will have a talk and see if anything is different. She will sometime change her story.

 

[count2ten]

Oh well,been back today, have searched everywhere. It is quite a large tin, absolutely years old, slightly battered and heavy. I have been under the table, under cushions, in the same cupboards as yesterday, washing machine, cooker, microwave, you name it I have been there. In the cistern, in the piano stool. Then I tackled the garage. Still cant find it. It is 'that man'who has it and I should go round and ask him for it! Dont know who this man is and cant make any sense to it. My mum then said she was taking the money out and that I had the tin. She gave me some cash last week in a carrier bag, and Im hoping this is the contents of the tin. I really dont think anyone has been in, but who knows, or she could have put it out for last weeks waste collection. Time will tell, and as you say such a waste of time, but it has achieved one thing - I have been there two days running for a considerable time which has made her happy. Thank you all for your help xx

Could she have given it to someone collecting at the door? In the recycling bag/box?
I am at the stage where I am now limited the amount of cash my mother has in her purse - she talks in "old" money, (5 bob, 10 bob notes etc). And tends to count out £10 notes as if they are worth £1 each. She also hides everything, from all the people who are stealing from her and moving her things around. Although, it doesn't help when any new carers come in and start tidying everything up which confuses her even more as she can;t find her clothes or all the bits and pieces she fiddles with all day, all the old photos, stamps, envelopes, empty boxes, old xmas and birthday cards, plastic bags, numerous pens and pencils, empty lipstick containers and perfume bottles. All get stashed on her wheel-around trolley, the the thoughtless carers tidy everything up and she gets in a right old state and I have to go round emptying out drawers and bins to find all the stuff again! Hope you're all joining in at home!

 

[beelady]

Could be anywhere she'll produce it from nowhere.
My husband does this with his wallet that's why there's very little kept in it.
Suggest you take most of the money away with you and only give what she immediately needs.

Definitely look in the bin and all the little nooks and crannies, it will turn up, she'll find it when she's not under pressure to find it.

Good luck.

 

[beelady]

Gingertwist

The daft thing is we can All relate to you only too well.
The amount on time we spend looking for stuff, but just think you now know where everything is and no doubt you've cleared a lot of rubbish out.

 

[Kevinl]

The freezer? My mum in law once put her house keys in the freezer (thought it was a cupboard) it was ages before we found them. She also once put them UNDER a wardrobe that took two men to lift! heaven knows where she found the strength

Fridge, freezer (as said) microwave and the washing machine. If she does go outside then that's a bigger problem, in a box of washing powder was the oddest place I found the missing hearing aid.
K

 

[SitsThere]

The three places in order of likelihood based on mum's lost things:
- on a hook (possibly in a bag) behind a door
- in the recycling bin
- wrapped in an article of clothing at the back of a drawer
But it sounds as if you've tried all of these. Sometimes mum's stuff turned up by magic, but sometimes, unfortunately, it was never seen again. We think these were things that went in the bin.

 

[count2ten]

The three places in order of likelihood based on mum's lost things:
- on a hook (possibly in a bag) behind a door
- in the recycling bin
- wrapped in an article of clothing at the back of a drawer
But it sounds as if you've tried all of these. Sometimes mum's stuff turned up by magic, but sometimes, unfortunately, it was never seen again. We think these were things that went in the bin.

Lots of things go in the bin , or maybe I'm getting paranoid as well but for a while my mother seemed to get through a lot of toilet rolls, tea bags and bars of soap - blamed on her memory loss but had me wondering if one of the carers had helped themself (one of them was suspended for neglect and poor care - makes you wonder what goes on when you're not there - just something else to worry about!). My mother won't let me look after her diamond ring, she wears it all the time, only let me keep it for her when she was in hospital - but I live in dread that this will go missing or fall down the plug hole one day. Or get sucked up the vaccuum. Guess who'll get the blame!

 

[opaline]

Any luck yet? xx

 

[Gingertwist]

Im going back today, as I have a day off from work. Im not expecting it to turn up but I am not going to raise the issue unless it is brought up. Its amazing how much time I spend thinking of places I havent looked, and yes I now know where lots of things are and how much things my Mum is keeping. Shopping trolley is one place I had forgotten about. Thanks to you all x x

 

[Grace L]

Still don't know what size / dimensions of tin...

I found my husbands lost keys inside a saucepan in the kitchen cupboard.
He must of removed several stacked pans, put his keys in the bottom pan,
and placed the other pans back in the stacked position... Talk about being hidden in a safe place.
But it wasn't him of course, so must have been me.

 

[Gingertwist]

Found it!, under the settee, right at the back. Strangley I had been under the settee on my stomach looking and it was not there. Eventually found the key, which had been moved, and the contents were there, in slightly different configurations, but there all the same. 'That man' had it and took some money and put the tin back! Thanks to iou all for your help and comments