The basic scenario is that our mum is in last stages of alzheimers and also was diagnosed with breast cancer 1 year ago. we have been supporting dad, with the help of professional carers for about 8 years,so she can remain at home. over the last few weeks things have declined even quicker than before bearing in mind mum has not spoken for about 4 years and is totally chair bound ie. moved from bed to chair then chair to bed all the time. it is obvious to us that she is suffering and probably in pain, due to her general agitation / face grimacing etc. this is so untolerable and both my sister and myself feel mentally unwell just seeing this every day ,getting worse, unable to even recognise mum physically as the person she was. in fact, its disturbing to see. the main issue now is that mum is basically refusing food and drink. we are more or less forcing food into our mothers mouth? this, we realise can potentially be dangerous, with risks of things like aspiration of food into lungs etc as she doesn't ever swallow properly or sit in a comfortable position for eating. Dad unfortunately, seems to be in denial of just how upsetting this is for me and my sister. he ,for all the best reasons I must add, wants everything to " carry on as normal". I have constant nightmares and wrestle with my conscience as to whether I am participating in something unethical like force feeding. I suffer from multiple mental health conditions anyway, but this is a constant obsessive thought ie am I doing the wrong thing? I can see from the expression in mums eyes that says " just stop trying to make me eat I'm sick of this" . I have to say that for the family as a whole, this existence is torture.